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I am out of dinner ideas for me + 3 picky kids. Help!
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Anonymous
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I feel for you. I hate when I've slaved over dinner and my son looks at me like I've served him poison.
I grew up in a house where it was eat or go hungry for several years. Not only did I go hungry, I hated spaghetti for 20 years because I was forced to eat it. It turns out I like spaghetti, but the fact I was forced to eat it made me dislike it for years. So me personally, I don't believe in the eat or go hungry attitutide. It might depend on the kid. But I also don't believe in becoming a short-order cook. So I think the allowing a PB&J as an alternative is good (what my mom eventually did after years of me not eating on certain nights). I also always offer fruit, yogurt, and whole wheat bread or rolls. If I make something I know my son probably won't eat, I make sure there are sides he will eat (harder to do with three). OP, what I would do in your case is let the kids each choose a dinner one night. That gives them some sense of control and ownership of the meal. And at least one kid should be happy each night. And then the others can either eat it or have the alternative, just make the alternative easy and healthy (cereal, pb&J, fruit, etc). Heck, at some point, the kids should be able to make their own alternative if they don't like what is offered. No need for you to do work. And if the one that suggested it doesn't eat it, maybe they could lose the priveledge of choosing the following week? Have you tried white pizza (cheese, no sauce) for the kid who hates sauce? Tortilla pizzas are easy to make (use tortilla as the crust, bake for about 5 minutes) Easy to change toppings. Soup and sandwiches (make the soup the kind one kid will like and the sandwich another will like). Baked Potatoes with different toppings? One thing that has also helped my sanity is I rarely make things I don't like. So that way, at least I get to enjoy my effort. |
Anonymous
| What my friend says works for her one very picky kid is fruit smoothies. She throws in other healthy stuff when they aren't looking. |
Anonymous
| I usually insist he eats it since it's exactly what he told me he wanted. This will result in much wailing and gnashing of teeth, whining, stalling and generally creating an atmosphere of unpleasantness for the rest of us 3 sitting around him. I ignore most of his tantrums (other than throwing food or hurting himself/ others) but it doesn't mean he stops in the least. Finally, when everyone else is finished with both their meal and their dessert, and he is still sitting there defiantly, he will grudgingly eat his meal to avoid being sent to bed (the threat is now, if you're done then, it's bedtime.) It's emotionally (and mentally) exhausting to listen to and endure 5+ nights per week. |
Anonymous
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Do you have 5 very basic meals that everyone will eat most of the time---e.g., spaghetti with a side of broccoli; pizza with cut-up mixed raw veggies or salad?
If you can find 5 meals to agree on, then you can set up a 5-day schedule and post it on the fridge, and tell everyone that this is the deal, no exceptions, eat it or not. (The other 2 days you make meals out of leftovers, order out, whatever.) A friend of ours does this to avoid the squabbling at breakfast (M=oatmeal and mango; T=cereal and berries..., no exceptions). It gets boring fast, and you have to be a diligent shopper to make sure you have everything that's required every night, but if you stick to your guns, it might work. And, when everyone gets bored, maybe they'll come to appreciate a little variety! Good luck. |
Anonymous
I can't fault kids for not liking fish -- sometimes that has a really strong taste. Try though getting it VERY fresh, and cooking it in a ginger teriyaki marinade. I've served salmon this way to a lot of kids and they like it. Will try to hunt down the recipe. Not liking casseroles -- that is very common with small children. Do you ever cook homemade macaroni and cheese? If not I'd try that first, and then try to gradulaly branch out. Spicy food -- again, a LOT of kids just have sensitive tastebuds. I think it's normal to make some dinner foods mild for the kids, and thenhave some etxra spice for those that like it. I know SOME families have kids that love hot spicy foods of course. But it doesn't seem like an unreasonable request for a kid to ask for food "not so spicy". At Thai restaurants, my kids (also 4 and 7 BTW) get chicken satay without the peanut sauce, and they eat the bread that comes with it, and rice. They also like miso or tofu soup and the little carrot shavings., and rice. OK -- so what does that leave for you guys: What about hummus? You mention they like certain veggies -- a veggie platter with humus, and some pitz bread, maybe some chunks of feta or cheddar or otehr cheese? ids can pick what they like; grownups can also add hot peppers, pickles, olives, etc? What about beans? Make your own beef/bean tacos? |
Anonymous
Dear, dear expectant first time mom -- I wll try not to be one of those annoying BTDT moms 
What seems to be the norm is, most moms enter motherhood with very fervend hopes that they will not cater to their children's meal desires, no ma'am, not them! And for a while unless they have a very picky eater from the get go, their toddlers do eat a great deal of healthy and nutritious food, whatever is placed in front of them in fact. Why woudln't they? THey don't know ay better. So moms congratulate themselves on having raised such great, adventurous eaters. Then just as their toddler is getting a bit more opinionated, the moms often have a second baby, or maybe it's twins, and the sweet little toddler who ate well because she was growing and active and running a lot, turns into the most finicky 3 year old eater you have ever seen. (Just search this forum for posts that start "Help my 3 year old has stopped eating anything that isn't beige!") 
NO ONE thinks that they are catering to their child, of course, it just sort of happens, with the sleep deprivation that comes with having a newborn in the house, and trying to get meals off to daycare or preschool... and before you know it, even those moms who had the very best of intentions find themselves desperate for their kids to just get some food in them so they will sleep all night long and not wake up cranky. Not to mention, that some moms feel it is totally acceptable for a kid not to "like", say spaghetti sauce. Or to want it on the side. |
Anonymous
I was with you right up to this point. Are you saying it's not acceptable for a preschooler to not like something and be able to state his/her preferences? As in not liking spaghetti sauce? I don't understand why that would not be a valid opinion for a person (no matter their age) to have and to be able to state. |
Anonymous
The 60th percentile is not small, it's above average. He won't die if he doesn't eat dinner. If he refuses give him a carnation instant breakfast, or a glass of whole milk, and be done with it. If your soon to be ex has an issue with it, tell him it is the monster he created, and it needs to be rectified. Your children will not be taken away from you because of this, any judge will understand, it's not abuse or neglect. The law in MD, and most other states, is that a child is to be fed once a day, and it doesn't matter what the the quality of the food is. |
Anonymous
I think it is reasonable to not give food choies, but it is not reasonable to force a child to eat. |
Anonymous
NP here. I hoe this isn't hijacking the thread, but I have a question. I do what is described in bold above, and one of my kids (we have two) will literally eat only PBJ, yogurt and fruit every single night. This irks me, but my question is, should it bother me? I mean, he is eating a healthful meal, even if it is always the same! Is it okay if this is all he eats until college (only half joking)? |
Anonymous
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Agree that 60th percentile for height and weight is quite well proportioned! I'd be more concerned if his weight percentile was much smaller than his height percentile (say, 60th percentile for height but only 20th for weight). But he sounds just fine! (Bigger than mine who is more like 50th and 50th, and seems quite tall and sturdy.)
I understand, though, that your STBX husband is a problem--perhaps the bigger problem than what seems like normal pickiness from your kids. |
Anonymous
I'm the PP you are responding to. No, I think it is perfectly understandable that a toddler or anyone would not like a certain thing or want the sauce on the side. So that makes it hard to draw the line -- what's "catering" to a child versus what's just accepting their preferences? Some moms say "this is what's for dinner like it or lump it" and feel that kids don't even get to say they don't like spaghetti sauce. Others think it is OK for kids to "not like fish" and they make something else entirely. "Catering" is in the eye of the beholder. |
Anonymous
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Hey OP - can you bulk cook on a rotating schedule, so that there are always acceptable leftovers available for the child who won't like that night's dinner? Just a thought for you...
Also, I try to take the approach of "two bites is alright" for those items I know my kids don't like. That way they keep getting exposed, but only in small amounts. It seems to be a good compromise. We do typically take the approach that what I fix is what they eat, but I take feedback on any new recipes, and I try to stick with kid friendly foods so that they are part of the decision, and I know that they are getting food they like. We stay away from spicy or strong/unusual tasting foods, as I do think kids tastebuds are much more sensitive than an adult's. |
Anonymous
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For the poster who asked if was ok for kid to eat yogurt, fruit and PB&J every night. I honestly don't know. With my kid, if I don't push food, he eats a wide variety (so I'm lucky). He goes through days of just liking one food and then turns around and likes another. I think if he stuck with only a few things, I would (1) give him vitamins and (2) push a little harder with other foods (maybe the one or two bite thing).
OP - it sounds like part of the problem is your ex. You feel pressure to "feed" the kids. That totally sucks. I hate feeling judged as a mom. |
Anonymous
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1. Black Bean tacos (no meat)
2. Veggie burgers (no meat, some have consistency of meat, others like Garden Burger do not, great with ketchup). 3. Spaghetti but serve the one kid just pasta with olive oil and parmasian cheese. You could add meatballs sometimes (if you cook them in sauce, they get pretty soft - there are veggie versions also) 4. Crock pot Rottisere Chicken (recipe on the crockpot lady's website - www.crockpot365.blogspot.com) - falls off the bone. I cut back on the spices for my son (or pull meat from the middel for the kids that don't like spices). I do put the onion in the chicken, but don't give my son the onion. You may want to "hide" it if the kid who hates mixed food will bulk at the site. But its bascially a chicken (not casserole) 5. Stir-fry (if the kid who eats food separate will eat it if you pick out the pieces, I cut the pieces big so that they can easily be separated). 6. Cold dinner. I love this. Cold chicken, hard-boiled eggs, salad, hummus, toast and cheese. Serve all separate (will the kid who hates meat that doesn't fall off the bone eat eggs and/or cheese?). I serve them separate and then I eat them all togethor in a salad (with the hummus on the side). 7. Sloppy Joes? Its "soft" meat. You could make with turkey. Or will the "no spaghettis sauce" kid balk? |