Skipping starter home and buying 4-5BR house?

[Anonymous]

I would hate the group home life. I'd absolutely buy a larger house if I could afford it where I want it, but I'd never live with roommates.

[Anonymous]

We purchased our first and what we thought would have been pour forever home in 2014.... With kids in mind. Then we ended up having to sell 2 years later before our first born for a work opportunity in DC (our first is due next February).

We went for a smaller (3 bedrooms) row house this time thinking it might not be our forever home so we will take it day by day. Planning on being in DC 4 years at least (length of my contract).

[Anonymous]

Are you a foreigner OP?

[Anonymous]

I would rather rent a basement and not random rooms.

[Anonymous]

We moved to Chicago area right after we got married and bought a larger home that we planned to grow into. Two years later we left with one baby to move back to DC. We never really needed all that house and missed out on living the younger lifestyle closer to downtown. Plans change and you never know what happens. The home that you live in is not an investment. It's a place to live.

Also, we have moved since having kids-needs change. When kids were small the priorities were being near local public, having a playroom near our living area, etc. Now our kids are older and in private so the local school doesn't matter as much and they have grown out of needing a playroom.

[Anonymous]

Around here, buying a starter house does not make sense if you have the money to buy the house you really want anyway.

[Anonymous]

If you can't afford private, don't buy a house zoned for a school you don't like. (And don't listen to people who say "the school is bound to "improve"!). Otherwise buy the house you can afford and you want. But fyi, the notion of a "starter home" is not really a thing. Buying with a plan to sell is not smart.

[Anonymous]

Ex and I bought a SFH in the suburbs before kids. Then he decided he didn't want kids at all. So we divorced. I got the house in the suburbs as a 27 yr old.

For a single person, it was too much house. But I was in it and I could afford it so I kept it. Dating was a bit difficult though. Not much young single life in the suburbs.

I went on to have 2 kids on my own. The house was a lot to maintain so I sold it and now the kids and I live in a TH. The 15 yrs of owning the SFH translated into a hefty down payment against the the TH. Mortgage is negligible which makes my quality of life with kids pretty good.

[Anonymous]

We did this. Bought a 6-br house in a very good school district, as a couple. Children came 3 years after we moved in. Was funny when a we moved in and a neighbor came over to introduce themselves and asked if we had kids and was surprised we didn't.

We were financially in a place where no roommates needed, so it was just a bunch of empty bedrooms for a while, but now we've got 2 children, a guest room, etc so we fill the house nicely.

[Anonymous]

We really thought we would want to stay in the city and raise kids in an urban setting. Were very committed to the idea.

But then the kids came and everything changed.

We traded our amazing city house in a fantastically hip neighborhood for a big house and a huge yard in a suburb with amazing schools and no crime.

Kids don't change everyone but they sure changed me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would worry about buying a house that I couldn't afford without roommates. When you have kids either your expenses will go way up (daycare) or your income will go way down (SAHP). How will you continue to afford the house?

This. If you can't afford it without having roomates, how are you going to afford it when you have kids?

[Anonymous]

it's a tough call OP. transaction costs of buying and selling are high. but life has a way of not happening according to plans either. plus- do you really want to have roommates? will you be able to kick them out easily when you have kids (read up on DC tenant laws)? maybe you can split the difference and buy a small row house that would work for 1-2 kids, so that the house will work for at least 7 years? you could also buy in a popular, established area so it will be easy to sell it down the line. or perhaps buy something that has a possibility of doing a pop up or pop back later when you have more $$?

[Anonymous]

I can't imagine spending a lot of money on a home and then having roommates. That sounds horrible. Who wants to share their family room with others? Have others cook in their kitchen? Sounds like a bizarre idea to me. Op just keep renting until you can afford to do it without roommates.

[Anonymous]

We bought a 4-BR house before kids. We'd since grown into it with kids and have lived here 15+ years, know our neighbors, etc. Had we waited, we might have bought in an even better school district. But with prices increasing and transaction costs, it may have not worked out as well.

[Anonymous]

I agree with most of the above who said only if you can do it without roommates. There are lots of costs associated with moving, so if you are sure the area will fit you for the next ten years, and you can afford it, then financially it makes sense.

I wouldn't do it with roommates because I don't think it is the best thing for your marriage, I say this as a family therapist. The years prior to having kids are unique. This is the time to be focusing on each other, learning more about each other, and strengthening who you are as a couple. You should be free to say what you want and do what you want without having to worry about other people.