Seeking part-time Shadow / 1:1 aide for preschooler -- 3-4 hours a day

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP Here -- Thanks for all the helpful responses that actually addressed how to find a shadow. Craigslist sounds like it will be a good start. Has anyone had any luck with Care.com?

For what it's worth, we're not using the OT for diagnosis. My son has already gone through the Child Find process and will receive some services in the fall, and we are currently going through a private evaluation to try to put a finer point on what is really going on. Those processes take time, so I was looking for advice on how to deal with the aggression issues in the interim. It seems likely that keeping him a school environment with typically developing peers is going to be helpful for him in the long run, and I'm looking for a way to do that.

Maybe. My kid with aggression issues stayed at preschool and the shadow made things much, much worse. He understood he was being treated differently, singled out, and had different rules than everyone else and he quickly started to use to shadow to take him out of the room, take him to the playground if he needed a break, etc. Having a shadow is the most restrictive environment. Your son is not developing typically RIGHT NOW, and yes, that could change, but I would push to get him into the preschool, the intergrated one. That would be a much less restrictive environment, When it gets to the point that there needs to be a shadow it is indeed bad enough that you need to change the environment. BTDT.

ITA! In our case (I posted above), the new school basically spontaneously shadowed him, but within the normal context of the school. That is, the teachers got to know him well, and had an ear or eye out to see if he was going to blow up. They also gave him a lot of attention in a way that made him feel cared for rather than singled out. They were able to do this because the school prioritizes having a high student-teacher ratio, and keeps things fairly simple so the teachers are able to just focus on the kids instead of a ton of transitions, structured activities, paperwork, etc etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, FWIW I think it's great you're going with your gut and keeping him at a mainstream preschool despite what some people are saying. This board tends to err on the side of putting kids in more restrictive environments but that's not always the best approach for all kids.

I have two good friends who have children who went through a period of hitting and kicking in preschool. Their school was very understanding and did not require a shadow but the parents did get the kids into private therapy and it helped a lot. By the time these kids were in K they were fine. I hope the same happens for your son.

But it's not like there's only one option for mainstream preschools. I have a child who was having serious aggression in a bad preschool environment. At a better school, no aggression. The change was immediate. The good school was mainstream with some inclusion, and just had a more accepting attitude towards kids' differing rates of development. It can be really hard to tell what is causing aggression in a kid this young, and it is reasonable to consider the environment, instead of trying to shoehorn a kid into an environment that is not working. The aggression is likely telling you that the kid feels really uncomfortable and unsafe in the environment.

NP here. The bolded was certainly true for us. The one and only year DC displayed aggression was when he was in an unstructured, free-for-all, "progressive" school. He didn't know what to do with his anxiety, so he lashed out. As soon as we got him into a more structured environment, the aggression disappeared.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, FWIW I think it's great you're going with your gut and keeping him at a mainstream preschool despite what some people are saying. This board tends to err on the side of putting kids in more restrictive environments but that's not always the best approach for all kids.

I have two good friends who have children who went through a period of hitting and kicking in preschool. Their school was very understanding and did not require a shadow but the parents did get the kids into private therapy and it helped a lot. By the time these kids were in K they were fine. I hope the same happens for your son.

But it's not like there's only one option for mainstream preschools. I have a child who was having serious aggression in a bad preschool environment. At a better school, no aggression. The change was immediate. The good school was mainstream with some inclusion, and just had a more accepting attitude towards kids' differing rates of development. It can be really hard to tell what is causing aggression in a kid this young, and it is reasonable to consider the environment, instead of trying to shoehorn a kid into an environment that is not working. The aggression is likely telling you that the kid feels really uncomfortable and unsafe in the environment.

NP here. The bolded was certainly true for us. The one and only year DC displayed aggression was when he was in an unstructured, free-for-all, "progressive" school. He didn't know what to do with his anxiety, so he lashed out. As soon as we got him into a more structured environment, the aggression disappeared.

I also agree. You have to find the right environment. Sometimes it's a mainstream setting with supports and sometimes it's a therapeutic school. No one is telling the OP to pull her kid automatically, but it can't hurt to be prepared if it does not work out. A child with aggression issues is a hard sell for most mainstream preschools.