It's my birthday and I'll cry if I want to...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:To sorta defend him, I did stuff like that when I was young. As soon as my wife pointed it out and how it was very important to her, It never happened again.

Talk to him calmly and tell him your feelings were hurt.

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DH and I both do this. Birthdays aren't a huge deal for us. It's hard for me to remember to make a fuss over people who care because I don't relate. But I try to when I know it's important to them. Maybe he needs it spelled out, calmly, and suggest some things you'd like. For example, specifically ask him not to pick up shifts of theyre bonus shifts, but you wouldn't expect him to take a regular work day off. That way he can see you're being reasonable and not expecting something unmanageable. He probably just thought that it was ok since he'll be home all evening.

I'd treat myself, but not too extravagantly, especially if I know it would lead to a fight. I wouldn't want to fight on my birthday and anniversary.

Another thing we do is talk about budgets for gift giving before events. It's sort of a reminder for him to get me a gift if I want one. Sometimes I'll say we just made a big purchase and I don't need anything besides a card. It's also a good opportunity to ask what we want or throw out hints.