Toddler won't pee on potty

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We are on day six of potty training (in our second attempt), and my 2.5 year old still has not peed on the potty once. Our first attempt, a couple months ago, was a potty training boot camp, and it was a colossal failure. So this time, we just took away diapers, switched to underpants, and promised stickers for any successful pee on the potty. (And he has seen the stickers, has a sticker chart, etc.) I was taking him to the potty every hour or so, with zero luck. So now I've just been taking him every time I see a potty dance. Once the potty dance has started, he can hold it for more than an hour before the inevitable accident happens. I sit him on the potty for a while, but can't make him stay for an hour, obviously. So we do some combo of sitting on the potty, playing with pants off, playing with pants on, etc. Then at some point the accident happens.

There are some obvious minor successes so far: he clearly has learned how to hold his pee, he now announces when he is peeing (or pooping), and he really wants a sticker. I'm reluctant to go back to diapers because I think he's ready.

FWIW, he's not a stubborn kid in general, and he's really not stressed out about the potty training (though he announces that he doesn't want to pee on the potty). His sunny temperament has not changed one bit through this process, except in his most stressful moments of trying to hold his pee.

So, any suggestions?

I think you're on the right track.

But don't take him to the potty so many times. Take him upon waking and at regular intervals, like b/f snack, lunch, etc. More like every 2-3 hours. Give him a sticker/praise for sitting on the toilet--whether he pees or poops.

It is a process; many kids take weeks or months. Just be consistent and expect accidents.

[Anonymous]

My first potty trained in an instant 3 weeks before he turned 3. He has literally NEVER had an accident. Ever. My second started potty training at 2. It took the entire year. So he was potty trained at 3, too. He would do exactly what your son is doing - he would sit on the potty, hold it, and then pee in his pants X minutes later.

If you feel the need to consume your days with this, keep doing what you are doing. If you don't, wait a few weeks and try again.

[Anonymous]

Too late, actually, OP.

I just finished training my second kid (also a DS) and he's 22 months. My first (DD) trained starting at 20 months, too (and finished around 22 months). You either have to start before 2 and just sit them on the potty over and over, and eventually they learn over a period of a couple of months, or you can wait until they are semi-rational and do a boot camp method (usually after 3 like PPs mentioned). But, if you wait, you can sometimes have the rare kid who resists until they are 5. It's not common at all, though. Sometimes you do have a 2.5 year old who will train, but it's really, really hard between 2-3. They are SO stubborn and not smart enough!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Too late, actually, OP.

I just finished training my second kid (also a DS) and he's 22 months. My first (DD) trained starting at 20 months, too (and finished around 22 months). You either have to start before 2 and just sit them on the potty over and over, and eventually they learn over a period of a couple of months, or you can wait until they are semi-rational and do a boot camp method (usually after 3 like PPs mentioned). But, if you wait, you can sometimes have the rare kid who resists until they are 5. It's not common at all, though. Sometimes you do have a 2.5 year old who will train, but it's really, really hard between 2-3. They are SO stubborn and not smart enough!

Oh, don't worry--we tried the early potty training too. He sat on the potty multiple times a day around 20-22 months, both at home and daycare. It didn't stick then, so that's why we gave up and tried again at probably about 27-8 months and again now. At some point, it has to work...

[Anonymous]

Smug PP who says you missed the window. Wrong, Eleanor! Have faith, OP.

[Anonymous]

I think OP's kid is plenty smart. It's just making that connection between the urge and the corresponding action. (Or the trigger - sitting on toilet - and the action.) it's not learning to make change from a $20 bill. So leave intelligence out of it.

[Anonymous]

Put it away and try again later. Went through this twice. One was 2.5 when it finally clicked, the other was closer to 3. For the latter, it was like a switch. She walked over to the potty, ripped off her diaper, sat down, and peed. We put her in the underwear we'd had for almost a year and she didn't have a single accident.

[Anonymous]

Keep it up.

You've already started and stopped once.

If you stop now all he's learned is mommy quits if he holds out long enough.

6 days is totally normal!

Think of it this way you have spent the last 2.5 years teaching him to go to the bathroom on himself now he has to relearn that information.

Take him at intervals. before and after sleeping, before and after meals, and before you head out on long trips.

It's okay if he has an accident that is how he learns.

When he goes on the potty give him a sticker.

[Anonymous]

Went through this with my DD several times. Stickers weren't enough (nor were sweets). Took her to target and bought a bunch of little toys pertaining to what she was most interested in (most were cheap and we're saving a big one for when she's fully trained). She's been so into the new toys (knowing she'll lose them if she gives up on potty) and so interested in her big toy it has made a world of difference. Almost fully potty trained after two weeks (still needs diapers at night and pullups in playgroup in case she doesn't make it in time).

[Anonymous]

OP, are you using a little potty or just using a seat for the toilet? We started potty training a few weeks ago with our 2.5 yo and offered him both. He prefers the potty at home, instead of the toilet with reducer seat. If you're only using one, you might want to switch to the other and see if that helps. Our DS also gets a lot of satisfaction with carrying the potty to the toilet, dumping out the pee and flushing the toilet.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Too late, actually, OP.

I just finished training my second kid (also a DS) and he's 22 months. My first (DD) trained starting at 20 months, too (and finished around 22 months). You either have to start before 2 and just sit them on the potty over and over, and eventually they learn over a period of a couple of months, or you can wait until they are semi-rational and do a boot camp method (usually after 3 like PPs mentioned). But, if you wait, you can sometimes have the rare kid who resists until they are 5. It's not common at all, though. Sometimes you do have a 2.5 year old who will train, but it's really, really hard between 2-3. They are SO stubborn and not smart enough!

Look crazy-mom, PubMed proves you wrong in your irrational potty training age windows. Stop spreading myths.

[Anonymous]

OP here. Just wanted to report back in case anyone ever finds this thread when searching with a similar question.

I persisted with the potty training pretty passively. We kept him in underwear, with diapers for naps and overnight. Occasionally, we would really pressure him to stay on the potty when we sensed he might be about to pee, so that he could experience success. For the most part, though, I just let him keep having accidents. (But it was manageable because he had learned to hold it so well that he was only having 2-3 accidents per day.) I also encouraged him to sit on the potty a few times a day (and I gave him incentives to do so, like letting him watch Elmo or Thomas videos).

Anyway, last Thursday, the light switch flipped. He peed in the potty on his own in the morning, and then again and again the rest of the day. We've now had five straight days of no accidents. He has peed on his toddler potty at home, the adult toilet, a toilet at the mall and a handful of other public places, and he peed outside on the grass once. He's even had one poop success, though he's mostly still saving that for nap and nighttime diapers.

Anyway, we switched to underwear on 7/16, and he finally figured it out on 8/11. I don't at all regret waiting it out. He is VERY proud of his new mastery. I know that potty training often comes in fits and starts, so I'm prepared for the inevitable regressions. At least now I'm confident that he understands and can control the mechanics of it.

So I mostly wanted to update that it IS possible to potty train a boy at 2 years and 7 months (and isn't automatically "too late" or "too early"). And I wanted to express appreciation for the PP who pointed out that my toddler was having to unlearn everything he'd known for 2.5 years--that is, that he was supposed to pee in a diaper. As a teacher, I'm more-than-familiar with concepts of "unlearning," so that framework was really helpful in this context. My toddler just needed time to figure it out, and I had to be patient.

And, again, I'm not trying to be smug here. We've still got a long way to go since he's still in naptime and nighttime diapers. But I just wanted to provide some hope to any one else struggling with potty training.

[Anonymous]

Give it up. He's not ready. Also, when you start again, you need a bigger reward than stickers. Try m&ms or some other candy.