What age to ride public transportation alone? Different ages for boys vs. girls?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I see mostly HS aged kids on the metro alone.

I think some of the posters here are pretty naive. Harassment on the street and on public transportation is real and common, particularly for teenage girls and young women. It's easy to forget about this or dismiss its significance when you're headed toward middle age.

My daughter (9th grade) travels by bus and metro alone and with friends. She's harassed on a fairly regular basis by teenage boys and also by older men. She always aims to sit next to a woman rather than sitting next to a man or alone, but this isn't always possible, and she's had to switch seats several times to avoid harassment. She's even had to get off the bus before her stop at least twice because she's felt uncomfortable but there hasn't been a place close to the driver. She has a good "leave me alone" face that she can use, and she always uses earbuds because it dissuades some men from even trying to bug her, but some men are persistent.

Personally, I wouldn't be thrilled about letting a middle school aged girl ride the bus/metro alone unless I had talked to her often about this stuff and felt like she was confident enough to stand up for herself and/or remove herself from potentially threatening situations.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I see mostly HS aged kids on the metro alone.

I think some of the posters here are pretty naive. Harassment on the street and on public transportation is real and common, particularly for teenage girls and young women. It's easy to forget about this or dismiss its significance when you're headed toward middle age.

My daughter (9th grade) travels by bus and metro alone and with friends. She's harassed on a fairly regular basis by teenage boys and also by older men. She always aims to sit next to a woman rather than sitting next to a man or alone, but this isn't always possible, and she's had to switch seats several times to avoid harassment. She's even had to get off the bus before her stop at least twice because she's felt uncomfortable but there hasn't been a place close to the driver. She has a good "leave me alone" face that she can use, and she always uses earbuds because it dissuades some men from even trying to bug her, but some men are persistent.

Personally, I wouldn't be thrilled about letting a middle school aged girl ride the bus/metro alone unless I had talked to her often about this stuff and felt like she was confident enough to stand up for herself and/or remove herself from potentially threatening situations.

OK, but this is nothing new. This happened to me when I was a kid walking home from school by myself (or w/ my friends). And it will probably happen when she's 25 too. This can happen anywhere -- public transportation, park, zoo, etc. She's going to have to learn to deal w/ it at some point... (which is not to suggest that this should be socially acceptable -- it's just our unfortunate reality).

[Anonymous]

Totally depends on the factors involved and there's no one size fits all answer. Where? When? And what is the child's personality & level of preparedness?

There are some areas/times where I would not recommend any young person take public transportation alone if there's any alternative, and other areas/routes that seem much safer.

One of my DDs was incredibly calm, responsible, and mature... I let her start taking city buses and certain specific metro trips alone at age 8. Her younger sister was much more impulsive & oblivious to her surroundings, so for her we waited until middle school. Our third child, DD13, has shown some poor decisionmaking when permitted to do this (lying about destination/who she was with), so she is not allowed to go places alone for now and we will revisit the situation in a few months.

In all cases we did several dry-runs first and were willing to adjust our permissions/expectations as needed to fit the kid and the situation.

[Anonymous]

dd 14 has only ridden metro a few times with a friend. Younger ds is 12 and started riding metro from school to afterschool activity last year. Many kids from his school ride so he wasn't really "alone"

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I see mostly HS aged kids on the metro alone.

I think some of the posters here are pretty naive. Harassment on the street and on public transportation is real and common, particularly for teenage girls and young women. It's easy to forget about this or dismiss its significance when you're headed toward middle age.

My daughter (9th grade) travels by bus and metro alone and with friends. She's harassed on a fairly regular basis by teenage boys and also by older men. She always aims to sit next to a woman rather than sitting next to a man or alone, but this isn't always possible, and she's had to switch seats several times to avoid harassment. She's even had to get off the bus before her stop at least twice because she's felt uncomfortable but there hasn't been a place close to the driver. She has a good "leave me alone" face that she can use, and she always uses earbuds because it dissuades some men from even trying to bug her, but some men are persistent.

Personally, I wouldn't be thrilled about letting a middle school aged girl ride the bus/metro alone unless I had talked to her often about this stuff and felt like she was confident enough to stand up for herself and/or remove herself from potentially threatening situations.

Another example of why men aren't necessary. Lock them all up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I see mostly HS aged kids on the metro alone.

I think some of the posters here are pretty naive. Harassment on the street and on public transportation is real and common, particularly for teenage girls and young women. It's easy to forget about this or dismiss its significance when you're headed toward middle age.

My daughter (9th grade) travels by bus and metro alone and with friends. She's harassed on a fairly regular basis by teenage boys and also by older men. She always aims to sit next to a woman rather than sitting next to a man or alone, but this isn't always possible, and she's had to switch seats several times to avoid harassment. She's even had to get off the bus before her stop at least twice because she's felt uncomfortable but there hasn't been a place close to the driver. She has a good "leave me alone" face that she can use, and she always uses earbuds because it dissuades some men from even trying to bug her, but some men are persistent.

Personally, I wouldn't be thrilled about letting a middle school aged girl ride the bus/metro alone unless I had talked to her often about this stuff and felt like she was confident enough to stand up for herself and/or remove herself from potentially threatening situations.

Just so you know, I watch out for girls like your daughter. I've reached in and hauled girls away from skeevy looking men. I've said to men "She's TWELVE; are you flirting with a CHILD?" (I automatically knock 2-3 years off whatever age I think they are to shame the men) I loudly ask "Is that man harassing you?"

[Anonymous]

My ds did a controlled trial run at 9 from dad's office to mom's office. It went OK...despite us completely forgetting that it was the day all the anti-abortion folks were headed to the Supreme Court and it totally gummed up the train schedule/platforms/ease of use. He handled it well. I think 12 is fine if a kid can handle it and has some street smarts.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I see mostly HS aged kids on the metro alone.

I think some of the posters here are pretty naive. Harassment on the street and on public transportation is real and common, particularly for teenage girls and young women. It's easy to forget about this or dismiss its significance when you're headed toward middle age.

My daughter (9th grade) travels by bus and metro alone and with friends. She's harassed on a fairly regular basis by teenage boys and also by older men. She always aims to sit next to a woman rather than sitting next to a man or alone, but this isn't always possible, and she's had to switch seats several times to avoid harassment. She's even had to get off the bus before her stop at least twice because she's felt uncomfortable but there hasn't been a place close to the driver. She has a good "leave me alone" face that she can use, and she always uses earbuds because it dissuades some men from even trying to bug her, but some men are persistent.

Personally, I wouldn't be thrilled about letting a middle school aged girl ride the bus/metro alone unless I had talked to her often about this stuff and felt like she was confident enough to stand up for herself and/or remove herself from potentially threatening situations.

Just so you know, I watch out for girls like your daughter. I've reached in and hauled girls away from skeevy looking men. I've said to men "She's TWELVE; are you flirting with a CHILD?" (I automatically knock 2-3 years off whatever age I think they are to shame the men) I loudly ask "Is that man harassing you?"

+1 Yep. ME TOO! I took the L in Chicago as a tween and grown men try to pull stuff with young girls they'd NEVER try with a grown woman. So yeah, I look out. Giving our daughters tools to handle the bs is a good thing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I see mostly HS aged kids on the metro alone.

I think some of the posters here are pretty naive. Harassment on the street and on public transportation is real and common, particularly for teenage girls and young women. It's easy to forget about this or dismiss its significance when you're headed toward middle age.

My daughter (9th grade) travels by bus and metro alone and with friends. She's harassed on a fairly regular basis by teenage boys and also by older men. She always aims to sit next to a woman rather than sitting next to a man or alone, but this isn't always possible, and she's had to switch seats several times to avoid harassment. She's even had to get off the bus before her stop at least twice because she's felt uncomfortable but there hasn't been a place close to the driver. She has a good "leave me alone" face that she can use, and she always uses earbuds because it dissuades some men from even trying to bug her, but some men are persistent.

Personally, I wouldn't be thrilled about letting a middle school aged girl ride the bus/metro alone unless I had talked to her often about this stuff and felt like she was confident enough to stand up for herself and/or remove herself from potentially threatening situations.

Just so you know, I watch out for girls like your daughter. I've reached in and hauled girls away from skeevy looking men. I've said to men "She's TWELVE; are you flirting with a CHILD?" (I automatically knock 2-3 years off whatever age I think they are to shame the men) I loudly ask "Is that man harassing you?"

Thank you!! I remember being harassed as I walked down the streets in mind-town Manhattan in the 80s with high school friends. I specifically remember one many following my friend and I commenting how 'sexy' our ankles were as it was winter. BLACH! For the life of me, I can't understand why men feel their behavior is appropriate.

[Anonymous]

Too many weirdos on metro/public transits

[Anonymous]

I started riding Metro when I was eleven. Girl (woman) here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I started riding Metro when I was eleven. Girl (woman) here.

Mid-nineties.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I see mostly HS aged kids on the metro alone.

I think some of the posters here are pretty naive. Harassment on the street and on public transportation is real and common, particularly for teenage girls and young women. It's easy to forget about this or dismiss its significance when you're headed toward middle age.

My daughter (9th grade) travels by bus and metro alone and with friends. She's harassed on a fairly regular basis by teenage boys and also by older men. She always aims to sit next to a woman rather than sitting next to a man or alone, but this isn't always possible, and she's had to switch seats several times to avoid harassment. She's even had to get off the bus before her stop at least twice because she's felt uncomfortable but there hasn't been a place close to the driver. She has a good "leave me alone" face that she can use, and she always uses earbuds because it dissuades some men from even trying to bug her, but some men are persistent.

Personally, I wouldn't be thrilled about letting a middle school aged girl ride the bus/metro alone unless I had talked to her often about this stuff and felt like she was confident enough to stand up for herself and/or remove herself from potentially threatening situations.

Just so you know, I watch out for girls like your daughter. I've reached in and hauled girls away from skeevy looking men. I've said to men "She's TWELVE; are you flirting with a CHILD?" (I automatically knock 2-3 years off whatever age I think they are to shame the men) I loudly ask "Is that man harassing you?"

THANK YOU. I wish others could be counted to do the same!

[Anonymous]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Bg_dMJE66QU

sorry my DD won't be riding the metro anytime soon....

and if your minor child, rids the metro, and gets hurt, mugged ect... you can't blame anyone but yourself.

[Anonymous]

Harassed on public transport at that age can include touching. Happened to me as a grade schooler. Not something you forget and much more likely to happen to a girl than a boy.