Happily married people ...

Anonymous
No, sorry. I'm not always happy every second of the day, but I'm always happy to be married to my husband.
Anonymous
Kids are a buzz kill.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:... do you ever feel as though you add just faking it? Being happy, that is? As though you don't care one way or the other?Living in a little bit of an emotionally dishonest life?

Or, am I really further away from happily married than I thought?


No. Not really. 15 years in, and feel so lucky and fortunate to be with someone who is my partner in life and has my back. There have definitely been frustrations and disappointments over the years (for him as well, I'm sure), but I've never felt like I am faking it. Do you feel like this is spouse-specific, or a general unhappiness?
Anonymous
How refreshing to hear there are some authentic "Happily Married" people on here.

One can lose a huge amount of faith on this forum if you come on here often enough!
Anonymous
Married 11 years. Still very much in love. So grateful I met him when I did (college) because it truly turned my life around.
Anonymous
There are good days and bad days. that is all.
Anonymous
No, we are both very happy. I still catch DH looking at me with love and lust. We respect each other enormously and have a great deal of love. I actually never thought I could be so happy with someone.
.and yes, we have kids
Anonymous
Being happily married doesn't necessarily mean puppy dogs and rainbows 24/7.

It means genuinely loving and respecting each other. It means being fully committed to staying together. It means having far more good days than bad days. It means not holding grudges. It means having a good sex life.

But it also means fighting every now and then. Being annoyed sometimes.
Anonymous
You need to take stock of what works in your marriage and look on the bright side.

Wife and I share similar philosophies on parenting and money. We both support each other, we have a good mix of married and individual friends. We are low conflict, enjoy each other's company.

But there is definitely a lack of passion and sex and I have come to realize it's not coming back. Sometimes, it really affects me (I am sure it affects her too, but she seems far more content). I don't think it's realistic to expect a great marriage and passion.

We were out for dinner last night with 4 other couples, all similarly situated, all seemingly happy. I wonder if any of them go home and rip each other's clothes off, or if they are like us and come home and turn on the computer and then go to bed.

I envy people who have what we have plus passion. But then again, I try to remember how much easier we have it than couples who bicker.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:... do you ever feel as though you add just faking it? Being happy, that is? As though you don't care one way or the other?Living in a little bit of an emotionally dishonest life?

Or, am I really further away from happily married than I thought?


I'm not sure I even understand this post. How can you be happy but not happy? Maybe you are asking if some couples that *appear* happy are actually not happy. No one can answer that for you.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Married 6 years. Just had a baby. We are sleep deprived, but very happy. Tell each other how grateful we are to have found each other.


Oh, newlyweds.

Married 20+ years. The first 15 were easy. Not feeling the love right now.


6 years plus a newborn is NOT newlyweds. Newborn life is hell.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Married 6 years. Just had a baby. We are sleep deprived, but very happy. Tell each other how grateful we are to have found each other.

Do yourself a favor and stop at one kid.


The key, to be honest, is not having any! Longitudinal studies bear that out.


Cite?

We have 3. And we're happy.

But I think I'd be happiest if I could go on a solo road trip for 10 days.


There have been several -- Google childless + couples + study, and you will get hundreds of hits. Studies have also found that among married couples, happiness takes a dip when kids are born, and doesn't rise back to the levels of childless couples until the kids are eighteen.

However, if having children was always very important to you, it doesn't much matter what these studies report!


Agree. Child free people are happier. I'm expecting 2 and not looking forward to the dip in happiness.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:How refreshing to hear there are some authentic "Happily Married" people on here.

One can lose a huge amount of faith on this forum if you come on here often enough!


So true!
Anonymous
Generally happy, but then it feels like we're only going through the motions of being happily married when the sexlessness stretches past 3 weeks. Then we have sex and it feels like the real thing again for a couple of weeks.
Anonymous
We are genuinely happy. Three kids, two teenagers, and we still get a long like two peas in a pod.
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