If your DH is on his phone all the time...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DH and I are now separated, but his phone addiction was part of the problem. In addition to the massive trust issues caused by his decision to watch porn on it, he was constantly messing around with it when he was doing projects around the house. This meant that "cleaning the kitchen" would take 2 hours, because there was so much tech time in the middle. Then he'd complain about how tired he was, how he had no down time, how we never had time to talk, etc.

Tech is great, but there needs to be a time and place for tech-free human interaction.

What would you have preferred he watched his porn on?

[Anonymous]

It really bugged me--because it was symptomatic of the fact that he preferred to do anything rather than engage with me. I didn't mind so much if he was reading something on his iPad, but the constant texting/slack chatting while ignoring me was a problem.

We're no longer together though.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It really bugged me--because it was symptomatic of the fact that he preferred to do anything rather than engage with me. I didn't mind so much if he was reading something on his iPad, but the constant texting/slack chatting while ignoring me was a problem.

We're no longer together though.

+1. Mine even ignores our children in favor of the phone. Doesn't see a problem with it though.

[Anonymous]

Enormously. I try to only raise it only when I think it is objectively rude (eg: checking email every 5 minutes during dinner, cutting me off mid-sentence because he got a twitter notification, scrolling through facebook on "date night", spending one day of a family vacation just on his phone). Those things used to happen daily, and now more rarely. But he still sometimes blows up at me for being "controlling" when I point out he's being rude.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DH and I are now separated, but his phone addiction was part of the problem. In addition to the massive trust issues caused by his decision to watch porn on it, he was constantly messing around with it when he was doing projects around the house. This meant that "cleaning the kitchen" would take 2 hours, because there was so much tech time in the middle. Then he'd complain about how tired he was, how he had no down time, how we never had time to talk, etc.

Tech is great, but there needs to be a time and place for tech-free human interaction.

How does watching porn on a phone create "massive trust issues?" I agree it's rather crass, but "trust issues?!?!?"

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How annoyed are you by it?

Our house rules:

No phones while eating.

No glancing at texts or emails while we're talking (even casually).

Leave the room if you're taking/making a call.

I'll see you that and raise you this:

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How annoyed are you by it?

Our house rules:

No phones while eating.

No glancing at texts or emails while we're talking (even casually).

Leave the room if you're taking/making a call.

Happy old people!

Happy old women, controlled old men.

13:36 here. As it happens, I'm a happy old (45) man!

Loathe phones, love the phone rules. Massive quality of life upgrade.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DH and I are now separated, but his phone addiction was part of the problem. In addition to the massive trust issues caused by his decision to watch porn on it, he was constantly messing around with it when he was doing projects around the house. This meant that "cleaning the kitchen" would take 2 hours, because there was so much tech time in the middle. Then he'd complain about how tired he was, how he had no down time, how we never had time to talk, etc.

Tech is great, but there needs to be a time and place for tech-free human interaction.

How does watching porn on a phone create "massive trust issues?" I agree it's rather crass, but "trust issues?!?!?"

It's creepy, other people can see it which makes a statement about that person and their spouse who married them. Porn addiction is a real problem, many simply don't agree it. My sil threw her husband out of their home after finding out he had the same problem. She was horrified when she found his collection that her kids could have easily found or viewed. They were only married a year, he was able to hide it for some time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DH and I are now separated, but his phone addiction was part of the problem. In addition to the massive trust issues caused by his decision to watch porn on it, he was constantly messing around with it when he was doing projects around the house. This meant that "cleaning the kitchen" would take 2 hours, because there was so much tech time in the middle. Then he'd complain about how tired he was, how he had no down time, how we never had time to talk, etc.

Tech is great, but there needs to be a time and place for tech-free human interaction.

How does watching porn on a phone create "massive trust issues?" I agree it's rather crass, but "trust issues?!?!?"

It's creepy, other people can see it which makes a statement about that person and their spouse who married them. Porn addiction is a real problem, many simply don't agree it. My sil threw her husband out of their home after finding out he had the same problem. She was horrified when she found his collection that her kids could have easily found or viewed. They were only married a year, he was able to hide it for some time.

Phew! Now the kids will have to take the effort to type sex.com into the computer to see porn!

[Anonymous]

I used to be annoyed by it. Now I've just found ways to amuse myself that don't involve him.

[Anonymous]

I would get annoyed by DW's constantly being on the phone when I'm driving. Then she started to realize it when we were house shopping last year and she pointed out this great neighborhood.

It was when I reminded her that I've been by it more than a dozen times, then asked her to navigate the kids to the nearest hospital, that maybe it started to dawn on her that she's clueless to her surroundings, and it could be a serious problem one day.

PS, stop calling me for shortcuts when you're stuck in traffic, know your surroundings!

[Anonymous]

Could he be looking at porn??

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DH and I are now separated, but his phone addiction was part of the problem. In addition to the massive trust issues caused by his decision to watch porn on it, he was constantly messing around with it when he was doing projects around the house. This meant that "cleaning the kitchen" would take 2 hours, because there was so much tech time in the middle. Then he'd complain about how tired he was, how he had no down time, how we never had time to talk, etc.

Tech is great, but there needs to be a time and place for tech-free human interaction.

How does watching porn on a phone create "massive trust issues?" I agree it's rather crass, but "trust issues?!?!?"

Yeah, well, when you derp hard enough to think watching it on your phone at work is an okay thing to do, it kinda ruins any sane(ish) person's ability to trust your judgment. And when your phone is capable of connecting to porn wherever you're on, it's really hard to trust that you're not watching porn whenever you're looking at your phone. As another PP said, it's beyond gauche to be doing that in public, where all and sundry can see/hear.

FWIW, I don't have a problem with porn, necessarily. I have a problem with lack of discretion, stupidity, thin excuses, and spouses who choose porn over more interesting activities.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My husband does work from his phone and is a twitter addict. No, it does not bother me at all.

He does not use the phone while eating, in the bathroom, while relaxing watching tv. His house priorities always come first. He's good about that.

The one thing that does annoy me, he uses speaker phone to talk. I do not want to hear the conversations and I think it's rude he doesn't tell the other person they are on speaker phone.

OMG my DH also uses speaker, it drives me bonkers.

Get a damn bluetooth, that is unprofessional as hell. I see people do this driving and that is probably why they will end up in an accident.