My kids are a**holes on vacation

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:At that age, there are no vacations, only trips.

Wise words I've been told before, and find to be very, very true.

Yep- vacations with kids are no fun. We have 4 kids and we leave our youngest 3yo twins home with Grandma, because they are a**holes on vacation too.
My only recommendation is cease vacations for a few years, and instead try to get a 3-4 night couple's getaway annually until they are older. Fly Grandma in to babysit if possible.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I admit the tantrum was not our finest parenting moment. I wouldn't have done it but I sort of understand. Our son is dangerously skinny and when he doesn't eat he melts down. But this is also a week of tough days that have worn us down. We don't usually let him have a cone so it won't spill. Letting him have a cone on top was supposed to be a special treat. Alas.

As for our 1 year old eating ice cream it isn't an every day occurrence. She had a little on vacation which I don't see as a total failure for me. She gets lots of health food and is a great eater.

But as I said we could improve. I'm going to try to work harder to get the kids to eat and to understand what is going on. And the next tantrum I hope wil be different although DS needs to eat at the end of them.

Thanks so much for all our your support. It is so very nice to hear we aren't alone in this. Wine tonight for sure.

We

Why do you deserve wine? Because you're on "vacation" and it's stressful for you? So are your kids, which is why they deserve ice cream when they express their stress by having a meltdown. Don't listen to the shrews -- unless you're ready to hold yourself to the same standards.

[Anonymous]

Geez, a lotta shrews here. OP, what can I say - the PP who said at this age there are no vacations only trips speaks wisdom. My kids are older and it's still hard. I just took the 7yo to Tysons to get shoes and other stuff for camp and I thought I was going to lose it. My strategy is not to overdo things - we do beach vacations where we go somewhere in teh AM and somewhere in the PM but leave plenty of downtime. Oh, and keep any expectations very very modest. Good luck!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I admit the tantrum was not our finest parenting moment. I wouldn't have done it but I sort of understand. Our son is dangerously skinny and when he doesn't eat he melts down. But this is also a week of tough days that have worn us down. We don't usually let him have a cone so it won't spill. Letting him have a cone on top was supposed to be a special treat. Alas.

As for our 1 year old eating ice cream it isn't an every day occurrence. She had a little on vacation which I don't see as a total failure for me. She gets lots of health food and is a great eater.

But as I said we could improve. I'm going to try to work harder to get the kids to eat and to understand what is going on. And the next tantrum I hope wil be different although DS needs to eat at the end of them.

Thanks so much for all our your support. It is so very nice to hear we aren't alone in this. Wine tonight for sure.

We

What you are describing is no different than many other kids. We do 4-5 meals a day vs. 3 and snacks to prevent the hunger meltdowns. You never give ice cream instead of a meal. You do both or a meal at that age. At 4, hold off on the treats and focus on solid meals at regular times. Its normal for some kids to meltdown when hungry, so you always carry snacks and feed. If they do not eat, they do not get treats or to go out.

[Anonymous]

Just got back from "a relaxing week in Hilton head with my 3 kids". I didn't do much relaxing.

[Anonymous]

Why are you sending your 1 year old and 4 year old to camp while you are on vacation?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why are you sending your 1 year old and 4 year old to camp while you are on vacation?

New pp. they probably have a kids club or something. This is very common, and kids enjoy it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why are you sending your 1 year old and 4 year old to camp while you are on vacation?

New pp. they probably have a kids club or something. This is very common, and kids enjoy it.

New PP, I'm guessing thats causing a lot of the issues. These kids are way too young IMO for camp. Is it really shocking that they're acting up?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Children who scream do not get any ice cream at all. Your son tantrums because he knows if he does it long enough you or your husband will give in and give him what he wants. You and your husband are the problem, not your son.

And you are calling a 1 yr old an asshole. Hello? Why is a 1 yr old even begin given ice cream to begin with? You are the problem here.

The tone is wrong but the advice is right.

-kids who scream don't get ice cream. He just learned the price of getting what he wants is 15 min of screaming.
-Why is 1yo screaming for a cookie-means he obvs knows what cookies are/eats them. That is kind of messed up. At 1 yo, my kid wouldn't even know how to scream for a cookie and didn't know what a cookie was. (Same with ice cream, but I get how "going for ice cream" is a family event so 1 yo might be familiar.
-so what if 1 yo wants to be carried? Carry him.

[Anonymous]

My advice mostly applies to the 4 year old, who is a creature of habit out of routine. Do lots of prep for whatever situations you know are coming: lunch on a patio, ice cream by the lake, whatever. If you want him to have the cup for mess factor let him know ahead of time to prepare him. If he fusses in the moment let him know the choice: ice cream in the cup or no ice cream at all. His choice. We just traveled w a 3 year old and a baby and it really helped prepping the 3 year old for what was to come.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Children who scream do not get any ice cream at all. Your son tantrums because he knows if he does it long enough you or your husband will give in and give him what he wants. You and your husband are the problem, not your son.

And you are calling a 1 yr old an asshole. Hello? Why is a 1 yr old even begin given ice cream to begin with? You are the problem here.

Exactly

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Children who scream do not get any ice cream at all. Your son tantrums because he knows if he does it long enough you or your husband will give in and give him what he wants. You and your husband are the problem, not your son.

And you are calling a 1 yr old an asshole. Hello? Why is a 1 yr old even begin given ice cream to begin with? You are the problem here.

The tone is wrong but the advice is right.

-kids who scream don't get ice cream. He just learned the price of getting what he wants is 15 min of screaming.
-Why is 1yo screaming for a cookie-means he obvs knows what cookies are/eats them. That is kind of messed up. At 1 yo, my kid wouldn't even know how to scream for a cookie and didn't know what a cookie was. (Same with ice cream, but I get how "going for ice cream" is a family event so 1 yo might be familiar.
-so what if 1 yo wants to be carried? Carry him.

The 4 year old did these things. Not the 1 year old.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Children who scream do not get any ice cream at all. Your son tantrums because he knows if he does it long enough you or your husband will give in and give him what he wants. You and your husband are the problem, not your son.

And you are calling a 1 yr old an asshole. Hello? Why is a 1 yr old even begin given ice cream to begin with? You are the problem here.

The tone is wrong but the advice is right.

-kids who scream don't get ice cream. He just learned the price of getting what he wants is 15 min of screaming.
-Why is 1yo screaming for a cookie-means he obvs knows what cookies are/eats them. That is kind of messed up. At 1 yo, my kid wouldn't even know how to scream for a cookie and didn't know what a cookie was. (Same with ice cream, but I get how "going for ice cream" is a family event so 1 yo might be familiar.
-so what if 1 yo wants to be carried? Carry him.

shoot. your tone is wrong and your advice is wrong.

[Anonymous]

I feel your pain. Our kids are 5, 2 and 4 mos. We definitely only have "trips."

Put the kids to bed early. When my kids get out of their routine, they get tired easier and go berserk.

If kids are mostly acting up while eating meals/ice cream out, go out less often and do more eating of the chicken tenders and veggies at the condo. Buy a half gallon of ice cream and cones and eat it there too so it's easier to hose off the mess. Pick one outdoorsy mountain activity per day to do in the morning when the kids are at their best and just relax after that.

[Anonymous]

OP, none of us are without imperfect parenting moments. When tired and worn down mentally, we all take the path of least resistance at times.

With that being said, why can't your 4 year old have an ice cream cone, even if that means making a mess? Just bring a change of shirt, problem solved.