When did thank you gifts become a thing?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Because these roles are a major justification for sahms to sahm. If you look at the under 4-forum, there's a bunch of posts on there ranting about how sahms are the ones who do all the tremendously important volunteer work at school. In my experience, 90% of that volunteer work is self serving and they're doing it to justify staying home. The school and the world would go on turning without people in those roles....

T

You sound completely crazy. Thank god for the people who organize the fundraisers, coach, and do the committees. I sure don't have time or interest.

[Anonymous]

Yeah, I hear you OP. It seems like one more thing to do. I grew up with some kids bringing a gift to the teacher at holiday time or at the end of the school year, but it wasn't nearly as elaborate or organized as what we have now. 40 years ago, at least when/where I was in elementary school, the room mothers helped the teacher with doing class parties, RIF displays, and such - extra kid support, not a teacher reward. Now the room parents (although so far it's still been 100% mothers) seem to have the role of teacher appreciation organizers and extracurricular socializing (choosing dates for class "playdates") rather than contributing to classroom activities.

We always contribute to the group gift because it feels awkward not to, but prefer to (and do) give individual gifts with a personal thank you note to each teacher.

[Anonymous]

I'm grateful for the parents who organize the monetary donations. I'd rather have the teachers get something they'd like to have or a gift card to a place where they shop. The room parents go to the trouble of finding out what the teachers would really want. I wouldn't volunteer to do it and am happy there are others that do. They only ask for $10 per year for teacher appreciation.

We always do handmade cards at the end of the year with a nice note.

I don't see it much differently than when my employer gives holiday gifts or random other gifts (usually apparel) or lunches. Since teaching is a service profession, I would liken it to giving a nurse or doctor at a hospital a gift. Though we didn't, I have friends who gave the labor and delivery nurses a gift.

[Anonymous]

The room mothers we've had over the years have been pretty classy about it making clear it's optional and not asking for large amounts. I think it's easier for the teacher to get 1 big gift card rather than a bunch of small ones.

Our PTA has gone greedy this year. At teacher appreciation they gave the option to donate money toward the luncheon. Nice, right? If you wanted to do it online you had to pay $250. Not $25, but $250 and there was no option to adjust the price.

[Anonymous]

FWIW, I'm a room parent and absolutely despise asking for contributions towards and end of year gift. If I don't ask for donations, everyone asks what we are doing for a gift. it's a no win situation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When did it become a thing? I am from a poor, rural town and we did it 30 years ago when I was a kid, so this doesn't seem like some new craze of the affluent.

+1
We did it 50 years ago. It is a small way to say thank you.

Same here. I'm from the rural Midwest and we were doing it 40 years ago when I was in grade school. It has nothing to do with how 'professional' a job it. It's recognizing personal effort. Even if the school system were able to do it, I would still contribute because of what teachers have done for my kids. I also appreciate the parents who spearhead the efforts. If you don't want to contribute, don't. Easy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The room mothers we've had over the years have been pretty classy about it making clear it's optional and not asking for large amounts. I think it's easier for the teacher to get 1 big gift card rather than a bunch of small ones.

Our PTA has gone greedy this year. At teacher appreciation they gave the option to donate money toward the luncheon. Nice, right? If you wanted to do it online you had to pay $250. Not $25, but $250 and there was no option to adjust the price.

WTF? 250 as a contribution to a luncheon? $25 sounds reasonable.

My mom used to sometimes cook full on Indian meals with 4-5 dishes for all the teachers at school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The room mothers we've had over the years have been pretty classy about it making clear it's optional and not asking for large amounts. I think it's easier for the teacher to get 1 big gift card rather than a bunch of small ones.

Our PTA has gone greedy this year. At teacher appreciation they gave the option to donate money toward the luncheon. Nice, right? If you wanted to do it online you had to pay $250. Not $25, but $250 and there was no option to adjust the price.

WTF? 250 as a contribution to a luncheon? $25 sounds reasonable.

My mom used to sometimes cook full on Indian meals with 4-5 dishes for all the teachers at school.

Your mom rocks. LOVE Indian food!

I bet the $250 was some psychological technique where you ask for way more than you expect and somehow encourage people to see giving $50 as a small donation OR it's an error or maybe just a random experiment where even if you get 2 parents to give that much it worked. Make you feel super cheap if you only want to give $5 so could scare off a lot of people.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:When I was a kid we would bring the teacher flowers from our garden as a gift at the end of the year.

I think in general our society has gotten more consumerist and materialistic and that wouldn't fly anymore.

I didn't have a garden growing up, but in elementary school my mom would bring bouquets of flowers for me to give my teacher at the end of each school year.

[Anonymous]

I always remember teachers getting token gifts. I imagine one day that someone thought, hey, instead of the teacher getting 30 useless pieces of crap, maybe we could all get together and get them something good. I appreciate the people who make the effort to manage the gift.

For coaches, these are busy parents who take time to prepare and teach the kids. They show up for practices and games, they put up with misbehaved kids, and they deal with slack ass parents who drop thier kids off and don't show up for an hour after practice is over. For baseball, they even have to attend training. If you are not willing to contribute $10 for people who do this, maybe your kid should not play sports. Sports teams only exist because parents are willing to volunteer. If you are unable to give $10, then don't. No one expects people to donate if they cannot afford it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When I was a kid we would bring the teacher flowers from our garden as a gift at the end of the year.

I think in general our society has gotten more consumerist and materialistic and that wouldn't fly anymore.

I didn't have a garden growing up, but in elementary school my mom would bring bouquets of flowers for me to give my teacher at the end of each school year.

13:19 here. What makes you think flowers wouldn't fly? I send in flowers from my garden. I save Frappucino bottles, take the labels off and use them for vases. They don't need to be returned. The kids love taking them in to the teachers/front office. Even my MS DS will take them (not as eagerly as he did in ES but he doesn't refuse).

[Anonymous]

As long as my child has a teacher every single year who is forced to use their own money to properly supply the classroom I will continue to give a monetary gift. Teachers are disgustingly underpaid and under appreciated. I could not do that job all day.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:When I was a kid we would bring the teacher flowers from our garden as a gift at the end of the year.

I think in general our society has gotten more consumerist and materialistic and that wouldn't fly anymore.

I agree. It takes 5 seconds to purchase a gift card and 15 minutes to pick the flowers. We spend more but really do less.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:As long as my child has a teacher every single year who is forced to use their own money to properly supply the classroom I will continue to give a monetary gift. Teachers are disgustingly underpaid and under appreciated. I could not do that job all day.

They need to go to school for 4 years. It is a very easy degree to get. They work 6-8hrs a day, 187 days a year. Guaranteed break of 1 hour for lunch/recess within a 6hr school day. For middle/upper school, they have guaranteed 2 periods off. Average MCPS salary is $80,000 and many can supplement that with a summer job or tutoring.

Most other full time salary employees work 8-10hr days, 260 days a year with no guarantee of a lunch break.

Sorry, they are not disgustingly underpaid. The best thing you can do for a teacher is back the F off, appreciate them, have their backs, and let them teach. I think most would take a pay-cut to not have to deal with the helicopter and tiger moms of our generation.

[Anonymous]

I don't mind one gift a year, but when you have to do Christmas, Valentines, Teacher Appreciation, their birthday and end of year, plus supply donations at the beginning of the year and throughout the year it gets a bit much. I have been opting out lately as I'm tired of it. I don't mind donating supplies, snacks, etc. but not the constant stream of gifts.