Parents with biological children who then adopted

[Anonymous]

My mother was tortured by her adopted older sister as a child (adoptee Aunt is the middle sibling, sandwiched by bio children on each side) because aunt was "picked" and grandparents just "randomly ended up with [mom]." I always thought that was a great way to look at it Siblings ended up pretty close, adoption was never an issue and adopted aunt is actually the one that stayed geographically near grandparents and was closest to them for the last 10 years of their lives.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Hi, OP. We juat adopted an infant and I will be totally honest with you. Loke you, I was head over geels crazy in love with my biological cild from the moment I laid eyes on him. It honestly terrified me how much I loved him.

We just adopted a newborn. In the beginning, I felt great affection for him but I would not call it love. Now, after almost four months, I am definitely in love with him, and it grows deeper every day. I cannot imagine life without him.

I understand your feelings. I felt the same way. There was a brief mourning period of sorts that happened as a result of not having that initial bond. Now I realize that it doesn't have to be the same because it just isn't the same. But that doesn't make it bad, or worse. We are beyond thrilled, our bio son adores his new brother, amd we can't imagine it any other way.

<3

[Anonymous]

I'm an adoptee with an older biological sibling. Always felt just as much love. That is not to say that adoption is not without complications, just in my experience boundless love from adoptive parents was not one of the complications.
When faced with infertility myself I talked to my mom about whether she felt a difference in connection between myself and my sibling. She said that the experience of bringing a person into the world was unique and amazing but that the love she felt from the minute we both "arrived" was the same. As it turns out I ended up with two kids that my partner carried, so no bio relationship, and while I can't make a direct comparison, I cannot imagine loving two people more, and would definitely step in front of a train for them op.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Fine. Inflict a Dr. Moreau-style social engineering experiment on your own offspring. Then come crying back here when they're failing college or won't talk to you and wonder what went wrong.

You're talking about CIO, right? This is the wrong thread for that. But I can't wait for the great CIO experiment's results to come in. These monsters think we can re-write how many tens of thousands of years of caring for babies to suit their own convenience, and it won't backfire? They have no compassion for their own screaming babies, so of course they care even less about the babies of other people.

Adoption, however, is perfectly normal. Normal people know how to love other humans, especially human babies and children. It's not as hard as some of your make it out to be. Of course, it's probably hard for you, but not for most.

[Anonymous]

I have an adopted child and a bio child. I love them both equally -- as much as is humanly possible. I am devoted to them both equally. My adopted child's personality is nothing like mine, which has created some conflicts between us. But I have a few (bio) siblings and one of them was nothing like the rest of us when I was growing up, so I know it's random.

Adoption is the best affirmation of humanity I've ever experienced.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Well I never felt that way about my biological daughter. Combine that with the fact that I never wanted to adopt and we kind of got stuck with the second one. So no.

this post confuses me...

It means she doesn't really love the child she adopted and is angry she got stuck with the child. She never wanted the child and they was forced on her.

Yes. Cautionary tale. Don't do adoption. Especially if you have bio kids, it is a disservice to them.

You are nuts. I had 3 bio children before adopting our 4th. They could not be closer and we could not love them more.

Zip your bitter lips about topics you obviously cannot grasp.

[Anonymous]

It depends on the kid. It depends on the parents. But is it possible to love an adopted child as much as a bio one? Of course. Blood relationship doesn't guarantee love, and a lack of it doesn't preclude love.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Well I never felt that way about my biological daughter. Combine that with the fact that I never wanted to adopt and we kind of got stuck with the second one. So no.

this post confuses me...

It means she doesn't really love the child she adopted and is angry she got stuck with the child. She never wanted the child and they was forced on her.

That's not true - I absolutely do love the child I adopted. I am not a kid-person at all. I don't enjoy spending time with children. But I still love both my kids, as people.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It depends on the kid. It depends on the parents. But is it possible to love an adopted child as much as a bio one? Of course. Blood relationship doesn't guarantee love, and a lack of it doesn't preclude love.

My husband is far closer to our child, whom we adopted than his biological kids. There is far more to "love" than people realize.

[Anonymous]

My brother and sister in-law adopted three kids they couldn't afford to the detriment of their older bio kids.