Has anyone boycotted homework?

[Anonymous]

So it's not that there's too much work but that he's simply not doing it?

As I read it, it all starts with classwork. If there is no ADD (which often manifests just like you're saying -looking out of the window etc), then a 9 year old should be old enough to understand that if he doesn't do his class work in the class, there's he'll to pay later. I would brainstorm once more with the teacher the ways to teach him make better use of his time in class.

I completely get it that it's hard for him to focus in SACC when all his friends are running around playing. And at home, of course, it will be late and he'll be tired. How's his focus at home though? One thing to do would be to set aside a week or two, when you prioritize homework. Come home, get takeaways or your DH to make dinner, and just sit with him. Set a timer, take small breaks, do what it takes. See if that makes him realize that he needs to pull his weight in class. But still, look into this ADD thing more seriously. Get a screening list, see how many criteria he meets.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Pro tip: don't come to DCUM for advice. The answer is always "your kid is stupid and you are a bad parent".

I don't think that's what PPs are saying. But OP, if your child cannot do something it seems the other kids in his class can-- finish his class work in class so that he doesn't have an overwhelming amount of homework-- are you going to say:
I don't know if the other kids are able to finish or not. I have been told by a parent of a kid who had this teacher previously that she "gives A LOT of homework". This was a random and unsolicited comment at a birthday party. I have no way of knowing if other kids are having trouble keeping up since I don't really know any other parents of kids in his class.
-I KNOW my kid is capable of working just as hard/industriously as the other kids, even on boring tasks. He is not a kindergartener. I am going to work with him on this and on completing homework more quickly.
We do have expectations that he will do well in school and have been working with him and the teacher all year. But, at some point you begin to wonder if the expectations are age appropriate.
-Worksheets and homework are a waste of time, I disagree with the teacher, and so we are going to boycott homework and resent the teacher.
I do think that worksheets and homework are dubiously beneficial. But, as I told my DS last night, sometimes you have a teacher that gives a lot of homework and you have to learn to cope. But as his parent, I have to question the benefit of the work and whether the stress on my family is worth it.
-Maybe my kid is working his hardest and genuinely needs help because he is not capable of doing something all the other kids in his class can do.
Maybe he is and maybe he isn't. I think the answer is somewhere in the middle. He does try, but he could try harder at some things. I am going to try to reach out to other parents and see how their kids are doing.
I am sympathetic with all points of view. You are the parent and it is your choice. It has nothing to do with stupidity. It may have to do with work ethic, desire, judgment of how important this is, or learning differences, but I have a feeling it is the "waste of time" thing and your son knows you are on the same page with him and is thus unmotivated to hurry up or change in any way. And that may be fine with you!
I may think it is a waste of time, but I would never say that to my kid or model any disrespect for his teacher.

[Anonymous]

I have a 9 year old. He gets a ton of homework. He spends an hour on homework each night, and he knows what he is doing/gets good grades. I would never opt him out of hw. My son can spend hours on his iPad. He can spend hours playing basketball. He can spend hours talking to friends. When it comes to hw, I get push back that it's boring, he is tired, he is hungry. Tough luck kiddo! When he gets through the door, he gets a 30 minute break. He can have a snack and watch tv. Then it all goes off and he goes to his room to do hw. Tis life OP. It seems like your child has trouble focusing on school and at home. I would get that checked out.

[Anonymous]

I think the worksheets my kids bring home are pretty silly - it takes them more time to get a pencil and sit down then they do to do the worksheet. However, I tell them the sheets are important bc it is the opportunity for them to demonstrate to the teacher what they know. It also is require by the school and to do well in school (which is important for us as a family and important for them IMO in later life) they have to follow school rules and do the assigned work even though they think it's boring. Now, my situation is different from yours because the homework isn't something they struggle with yet but perhaps the reasoning of why it's important might help your son understand why he has to do it and that might improve his attitude towards it. In your shoes I would also speak to other parents to find out if their kids are experiencing the same thing. If, as the teacher has said, they are able to complete the work in class or in the 20 min guideline, then I would take a careful look at your son's learning abilities and consider an evaluation. If you find other kids/parents in the same boat, I'd escalate the discussion to the counselor / principal / even superintendent in that order.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP is a troll. Don't feed the troll. people.

What in the world is trollish about this post?

[Anonymous]

Sounds like you just don't like the type of work or the teacher. Too bad.

Your son needs to realize he has to prioritize and stay on task. As suspected, your follow up post states he'd rather to other things at SACC when he could be doing his work. Or if he chooses to have his free time at SACC, he really needs to buckle down at home. You're not a teacher. Get over it and get the work done.

[Anonymous]

PP here. You asked about evaluation. I found that going to my pediatrician was a good first start. It helped give some direction and it helped verbalize/conceptualize the problems. I then had a neuropsych eval done. After that, I returned to the ped who prescribes medication. I've also done a lot of reading and educating myself about strategies for dealing with the issues/problems that my son has, which are not unlike your son. Because of some health issues, we also have to have a cardiologist involved with prescriptions.

As to having the school evaluate, I found it more effective to do this on my own and then to work with the school to get the services and accommodations that my son needs. My son was diagnosed early on. But, one thing I found was that the last year or two of ES are really critical to getting student skills (which is how I categorize what you are talking about) at the level they need to be to be successful in MS. For example, in ES, there is staff to help your child pack a backpack and write down homework assignments. In MS, I'm not saying it is impossible to get this, but it's not easy and not consistent. There are many other things, but I'm just trying to make the point that big changes to the way educations occurs happens when you transition to MS.

[Anonymous]

9:21 again. I also wanted to say that all kids hate the work sheets and find them to be boring. But, over the years, I've certainly appreciated the need for repetition in order for my kids to become proficient in their skills. They had to practice, practice, practice their basic math facts, proper use of capital and small letters, use of punctuation, etc. One of the ways to get in the amount of practice that's necessary for kids to get proficient and fast at their skills is work sheets. I'm not sure there is another reliable way for a teacher to do this. Certainly some of us supplement with flash cards and journaling. But, that doesn't help the teacher get all of the kids in her/his class proficient.

[Anonymous]

It is worth asking the pediatrician to screen him for ADD. Not all kids are ADHD. If he is unable to stay on task without constant redirection and monitoring as compared to his classroom peers, that actually is a sign of an attention and focus issue. It is not a reflection of his intelligence at all, just his ability to remain focused. Kids with ADD can't help that they get distracted, they just do. Best to get him screened now because if he does have an attention issue, it is better to address it before he reaches the higher grades. The work and time management really increase from 5th grade on.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
You need to have your son evaluated.

My son was like this in 4th grade, got marked down until he was failing and it was a horrible year for his self-esteem.
At the same time he won the Young Author's Contest for his school.
That summer he was diagnosed with severe inattentive ADHD, and the IQ test included in the assessment showed he has abysmal processing speed, which explained why he could not finish anything on time. Not everyone with ADHD has slow processing speed, but it is common for the inattentive daydreamer-kind of ADHD.

The school gave him accommodations (extra time etc) with an IEP. Now he is doing much better in 5th. The IQ test also showed he was gifted and under medication, his grades have shot up.

Where did you have your son tested? We have talked to the school about testing because my DS is a poor speller, but they have said that it isn't necessary and he just needs to learn to use his resources to compensate (which we are working on). They have never suggested that he may have ADHD. His grades are A/B, except for a C+ in writing because he still isn't good at using the resources and he gets behind because he avoids it. I think that he may be immature and bored, but I am not sure about the ADHD. Is this something to raise with the pediatrician or demand that the school test him? A lot of this I think is a basic problem with the educational philosophy and teaching by worksheet. I think he's just sick to death of worksheets.

Not sure if you're the OP or not. I'm PP you quoted.

First: no teacher is allowed to tell you that your child has ADHD, even when it's completely obvious. They will use words like "attentional issues", "distractible", "needs redirection", etc.

Second: 20 minutes of boring homework is the norm nowadays. You can boycott it if you want and if he doesn't get marked down, so that you can focus on the classwork he needs to finish which does get graded. Our son was not allowed to take his classwork home, so he received failing grades in a snap, since he couldn't finish anything at all during class. This year my son doesn't do spelling homework, for ex, because he's in the advanced spelling group and already knows all the words.

Third: not finishing classwork during the school day is a huge red flag. The teacher has already been flexible enough to let him take his work home, and has said he needs redirection. She cannot do or say more. You need to take it from here. We used Stixrud for a full neuropsychological

Fourth: please read up on ADHD, specifically the inattentive kind. By definition, it is an attention regulation issue where there are not enough neurotransmitters in the frontal cortex of the brain to signal effectively. As a result, the frontal lobes in a person with ADHD take longer to mature, sometimes several more years. The frontal cortex is the seat of judgement, reasoning and higher functioning. Kids with ADHD have incredible difficulty concentrating on tasks they dislike, and incredible capacity to focus on tasks they do like.

Fifth: ADHD is correctly diagnosed by a developmental pediatrician or a psychologist - both need to be experienced with ADHD diagnoses. A general ped can give you a reference, but should not do the evaluation themselves. A test just for ADHD may take a couple of hours and cost $700, a more full-picture kind of evaluation such a neuropsychological eval. will take 8 hours and cost a few thousand. We went to Stixrud, which has a great professional reputation, and only does neuropsychological evals. Paid $3.2K out of pocket.

Good luck.

PS: my best friend also has a child with inattentive ADHD. It's obvious to everyone, but for the longest time my friend and her husband were convinced that the school system was at fault, the teachers were bad, the work was boring, etc. The child is in 5th grade and not doing well, and the parents are slowly coming to the realization that there may be ADHD going on. It's difficult to observe a child's suffering as a third party, especially when you have an understanding of what's going on and can't help beyond giving gentle suggestions.

[Anonymous]

Op I'm sorry you're going through this. I also have a fourth grade son with a crazy teacher. It sucks. Don't stress your son out. Don't let it get your husband and you arguing and upset. Figure out which subject your son is struggling with the most and then set a timer for 20 min and have him work on that assignment. Give him a break and then set the timer for 20 min again and the put it away. Write the teacher a note that he worked on it for 40 min. My sons teacher is giving him bad grades this year too. I'm looking forward to next year and hopeful that we'll have a more reasonable and more experienced teacher.

[Anonymous]

Your son sounds very similar to my son (who is finishing up 3rd grade). DS has about 20 minutes of homework and 20 minutes of reading each day. If the homework isn't finishing during aftercare, then it's a nightmare to get it done at home. Son was evaluated and has ADHD, combined type. Medication has made a world of difference, although it's mostly worn off by the time he gets home. We have him do the written work right when he gets home, but the reading is done at bedtime. It helps him fall asleep at night. I'd look into an evaluation to rule our ADHD.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
You need to have your son evaluated.

My son was like this in 4th grade, got marked down until he was failing and it was a horrible year for his self-esteem.
At the same time he won the Young Author's Contest for his school.
That summer he was diagnosed with severe inattentive ADHD, and the IQ test included in the assessment showed he has abysmal processing speed, which explained why he could not finish anything on time. Not everyone with ADHD has slow processing speed, but it is common for the inattentive daydreamer-kind of ADHD.

The school gave him accommodations (extra time etc) with an IEP. Now he is doing much better in 5th. The IQ test also showed he was gifted and under medication, his grades have shot up.

Where did you have your son tested? We have talked to the school about testing because my DS is a poor speller, but they have said that it isn't necessary and he just needs to learn to use his resources to compensate (which we are working on). They have never suggested that he may have ADHD. His grades are A/B, except for a C+ in writing because he still isn't good at using the resources and he gets behind because he avoids it. I think that he may be immature and bored, but I am not sure about the ADHD. Is this something to raise with the pediatrician or demand that the school test him? A lot of this I think is a basic problem with the educational philosophy and teaching by worksheet. I think he's just sick to death of worksheets.

Not sure if you're the OP or not. I'm PP you quoted.

First: no teacher is allowed to tell you that your child has ADHD, even when it's completely obvious. They will use words like "attentional issues", "distractible", "needs redirection", etc.

Second: 20 minutes of boring homework is the norm nowadays. You can boycott it if you want and if he doesn't get marked down, so that you can focus on the classwork he needs to finish which does get graded. Our son was not allowed to take his classwork home, so he received failing grades in a snap, since he couldn't finish anything at all during class. This year my son doesn't do spelling homework, for ex, because he's in the advanced spelling group and already knows all the words.

Third: not finishing classwork during the school day is a huge red flag. The teacher has already been flexible enough to let him take his work home, and has said he needs redirection. She cannot do or say more. You need to take it from here. We used Stixrud for a full neuropsychological

Fourth: please read up on ADHD, specifically the inattentive kind. By definition, it is an attention regulation issue where there are not enough neurotransmitters in the frontal cortex of the brain to signal effectively. As a result, the frontal lobes in a person with ADHD take longer to mature, sometimes several more years. The frontal cortex is the seat of judgement, reasoning and higher functioning. Kids with ADHD have incredible difficulty concentrating on tasks they dislike, and incredible capacity to focus on tasks they do like.

Fifth: ADHD is correctly diagnosed by a developmental pediatrician or a psychologist - both need to be experienced with ADHD diagnoses. A general ped can give you a reference, but should not do the evaluation themselves. A test just for ADHD may take a couple of hours and cost $700, a more full-picture kind of evaluation such a neuropsychological eval. will take 8 hours and cost a few thousand. We went to Stixrud, which has a great professional reputation, and only does neuropsychological evals. Paid $3.2K out of pocket.

Good luck.

PS: my best friend also has a child with inattentive ADHD. It's obvious to everyone, but for the longest time my friend and her husband were convinced that the school system was at fault, the teachers were bad, the work was boring, etc. The child is in 5th grade and not doing well, and the parents are slowly coming to the realization that there may be ADHD going on. It's difficult to observe a child's suffering as a third party, especially when you have an understanding of what's going on and can't help beyond giving gentle suggestions.

Thank you very much for all this information. I had not considered that my son may have an ADHD diagnosis, but I don't want to stick my head in the sand either. I will bring it up with his pediatrician and go from there. The $3k out of pocket is pretty daunting, though. That would be a challenge.

[Anonymous]

If your child understands the material, homework is not necessary. If your child does not understand the material, that is a different story.

My 3rd grader hates homework. We've decided this year that instead of doing 6 spelling activities each week, he only has to however many spelling activities it takes for him to learn all the words and get them all correct on a "practice test." Then he's done with it.

Math worksheets we don't do - he gets 3s and 4s in math, so it is just busywork.

[Anonymous]

You are right that it's likely not beneficial. Studies have shown this. And running around and free play are more important after 7 hours of school.
That said, I have my kid do his homework because I don't want him to think things like that are optional/he can just ignore the teacher. This is easy now because he's only in first grade, and homework doesn't take long. I don't understand why, with all the research saying it's useless, teachers & principals continue to assign homework to elementary school kids?