Dating across circles or leagues

[Anonymous]

My last comment was not meant for Paige. Thank you, Paige. He's a really sweet guy and I think it will be a fun event.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Advice?

For example, we are going to a party where I will meet some of his oldest friends and I am as flummoxed as a 20 year old girl. What I and my friends would wear and bring to this kind of party is different from what his crowd does (he seemed surprised when I said, "Don't we have to get something?"). I know, follow his lead, but I swear I am going to spend the next several days angsting in my closet. I don't want to look like some uptown snob but I also want to be comfortable in what I wear. I swear dating in my 20s was not this much work because you met people at school or work who traveled in the same circles. He says he's probably going to wear jeans, but I just can't. Any jeans I would consider party-worthy scream designer.

So you are a 20 year old girl that isn't in her 20s anymore?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Thanks everybody. I talked to him about it last night. He said he was glad I worked through my angst. I shared that my XH, who was a Southerner of a certain class (I am a Yankee) expected me to know all his social rules and the woman's responsibilities for gifts, etc., immediately, and would scream at me if I got the wrong thing or wore the wrong thing. (Wish that were the only abusive thing about him, but no - that's why he's X). So I spent a lot of years learning those rules, as well as the rules of my professional circle, which tend to skew more high society. That is not my background growing up. I told him I realized that (a) he wasn't asking me to take on the responsibility for figuring out what to bring, that they were his friends and he would know what to do, and (b) that I knew he wouldn't yell at me for being wrong. He was very sweet about the whole thing. Now I am starting to get excited about this. Plus he's away this week on business, so I am looking forward to his coming back anyway!

Thanks again, everybody!

Most men aren't that uptight.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Maybe so, PP, but he seems pretty happy with what I bring to the relationship (both in and out of the bedroom), and it is his opinion that counts!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Thanks everybody. I talked to him about it last night. He said he was glad I worked through my angst. I shared that my XH, who was a Southerner of a certain class (I am a Yankee) expected me to know all his social rules and the woman's responsibilities for gifts, etc., immediately, and would scream at me if I got the wrong thing or wore the wrong thing. (Wish that were the only abusive thing about him, but no - that's why he's X). So I spent a lot of years learning those rules, as well as the rules of my professional circle, which tend to skew more high society. That is not my background growing up. I told him I realized that (a) he wasn't asking me to take on the responsibility for figuring out what to bring, that they were his friends and he would know what to do, and (b) that I knew he wouldn't yell at me for being wrong. He was very sweet about the whole thing. Now I am starting to get excited about this. Plus he's away this week on business, so I am looking forward to his coming back anyway!

Thanks again, everybody!

Wow! you sound like a lot of work.

+1 million. Wow, you need therapy!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Thanks everybody. I talked to him about it last night. He said he was glad I worked through my angst. I shared that my XH, who was a Southerner of a certain class (I am a Yankee) expected me to know all his social rules and the woman's responsibilities for gifts, etc., immediately, and would scream at me if I got the wrong thing or wore the wrong thing. (Wish that were the only abusive thing about him, but no - that's why he's X). So I spent a lot of years learning those rules, as well as the rules of my professional circle, which tend to skew more high society. That is not my background growing up. I told him I realized that (a) he wasn't asking me to take on the responsibility for figuring out what to bring, that they were his friends and he would know what to do, and (b) that I knew he wouldn't yell at me for being wrong. He was very sweet about the whole thing. Now I am starting to get excited about this. Plus he's away this week on business, so I am looking forward to his coming back anyway!

Thanks again, everybody!

Wow! you sound like a lot of work.

She's absolutely insufferable. Could you imagine dealing with her on an every day basis?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Maybe so, PP, but he seems pretty happy with what I bring to the relationship (both in and out of the bedroom), and it is his opinion that counts!

Yep, you certainly are insufferable.