Women, what makes you feel "connected" to DH?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:And don't say sex, because the feeling of connection is what leads to sex -- right?

not true for guys.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What we have is beyond sex. It's a much deeper level, almost like we're one. I can't explain it only to say if one of us were to die the other would too.

I have never felt that kind of connection to anyone else.

This response creeps me out so much that my arm hair is literally on end.

[Anonymous]

We don't have a TV in our bedroom and we go to bed at the same time on most days, so I really love our connection time before we turn out the light where we talk or share a funny story or just cuddle with the dog, with no technological distractions.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:And don't say sex, because the feeling of connection is what leads to sex -- right?

not true for guys.

Probably not relevant to a discussion about "Women, what makes you feel 'connected' to DH?"

[Anonymous]

I like it when my husband flirts with me by giving me a tap on my bum when walking past me or something similar to that. I know, stupid.

Forehead kiss accompanied with a hug. He's much taller/bigger than me and this feels good.

When he makes the effort to hire a sitter and plan a night out.

Cooking together and sharing a bottle of wine.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:And don't say sex, because the feeling of connection is what leads to sex -- right?

Just because feeling connected leads to sex doesn't mean that sex doesn't lead to more connection. It is a circle, if one piece fails, the cycle is ruined.

DH being affectionate toward me, DH spending quality one on one time with me, DH looking at our children with love, DH not expecting me to do everything on my own and being an active and supportive parent and partner, and DH and I having regular sex. Those are the things that make me feel connected to him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:And don't say sex, because the feeling of connection is what leads to sex -- right?

Just because feeling connected leads to sex doesn't mean that sex doesn't lead to more connection. It is a circle, if one piece fails, the cycle is ruined.

DH being affectionate toward me, DH spending quality one on one time with me, DH looking at our children with love, DH not expecting me to do everything on my own and being an active and supportive parent and partner, and DH and I having regular sex. Those are the things that make me feel connected to him.

I think OP was picking up on the trope about how women need to feel connected to have sex (and men need to have sex to feel connected). Usually when that comes up, nobody talks about women needing sex to feel connected too.

[Anonymous]

I am another woman who says sex makes me feel connected. However my husband is affectionate and helpful, so I don't have resentment from unbalanced day to day issues to interfere.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:And don't say sex, because the feeling of connection is what leads to sex -- right?

Just because feeling connected leads to sex doesn't mean that sex doesn't lead to more connection. It is a circle, if one piece fails, the cycle is ruined.

DH being affectionate toward me, DH spending quality one on one time with me, DH looking at our children with love, DH not expecting me to do everything on my own and being an active and supportive parent and partner, and DH and I having regular sex. Those are the things that make me feel connected to him.

I think OP was picking up on the trope about how women need to feel connected to have sex (and men need to have sex to feel connected). Usually when that comes up, nobody talks about women needing sex to feel connected too.

Sex makes me feel connected because I know it's what he needs to be connected to me. And good sex plants the seeds for more sex, so it's a good loop to be in. Not to be creepy, but it is kind of like the mother-baby nursing cycle.

[Anonymous]

Sex.
Sorry but sex definitely leads to connection.
Sometimes it's why people stay with someone who they are not compatible with as sex results in all sorts of happy endorphins being released:
http://www.health.com/health/m/gallery/0,,20894914_2,00.html

If you are waiting for things to be perfect before you have sex I'm not sure that's a great strategy.

Anyway,
Sex
Someone to talk to (about whatever - politics, the weather) and a dinner companion
Someone to share kid activities and household stuff with
Sharing family life and experiences together
Warm guy next to me at night is not bad either

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:And don't say sex, because the feeling of connection is what leads to sex -- right?

not true for guys.

But, since op asked the women of the board .... that doesn't matter.

[Anonymous]

Naked cuddles.
Sweet sex followed by more cuddles.

Talking . We've been debating and talking for six years and don't fight about stuff we don't agree on, since we realize we're different humans. Our conversation tends to be fairly Socratic in nature. No matter how intense our talks get, we always feel closer afterwards.

It's a wonderful thing when your partner is your best friend.

[Anonymous]

I feel more connected when there is conversation and eye contact, but DH doesn't do these things.

[Anonymous]

Talking. Debating. Good conversation. Naked wrestling. Smiling to myself on the toilet when I realize he replaced the TP roll. Silly pranks, we have many.

[Anonymous]

I feel a need to share. PP above. DH has a ridiculous band HS photo that I sneak around the house for example. He hates this photo/pretends to hate now. Kids get involved in our pranks. All good fun. Always funniest with guests over. Littlest working on her poker face.