"Life happens" as a catch all phrase?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have someone who works for me that has taken to saying things like "well life happened and I didn't get to X Y Z today" when asked if a task was completed and in response to a request "well I'll try but you know, life happens."

I'm not quite sure what to say or what she is trying to say, to be honest and have taken to staring blankly for a second and then asking the question or making the request again, only to get the same answer.

It seems odd for me to acknowledge that I understand that life happens. And to argue that life isn't going to happen to hasn't happened is equally bizarre.

FWIW I am not a manager or with any management training, it's healthcare and my title is simply ranked above hers, like a doctor making rounds to floor nurses situation. I am not her boss.

Is this just a modern expression I haven't heard before? We are probably a good 20 years apart in age

for me, I used it as an excuse once...."Um, sorry I will not be at your meeting this morning....I got sick last night, they did a CT scan, and found a tumor on my kidney about two hours ago. Sometimes Life happens"

Personally, PP, I would say that in your case Big Shit Sometimes Happens and I would figure out how to support you. I'm not getting this in OP's post. She (or he) hears the generic-- Life happens--frequently when something doesn't get done on time. I'd have an issue with that because, well, it could mean anything from I didn't get to your task because I don't respect it so I'd rather read DCUM to I had a sick kid or all my other meetings ran late or anything in between.

OP, I'd document the missed deadline (depending on how crucial the deadline was), ignore the excuse and ask when you can expect the task to get done. If you can't work with the answer, assign the task to someone else and move on. Life happens is a mealy excuse and not worth considering deeply.

Op here.
I wish I could! She is the only one that can do this specific role.
Any tips on what to say on the moment?
Such as "I understand life happens, my life and the lives of our patients are happening too."
Or should I just ask "what do you mean that life happens and does that mean you can do XYZ or not?" And make her explain herself?

I realize it seems like a ridiculous thing to be worried about, but I'm getting this response with increasing frequency and don't really know what she is trying to say.

I'm the PP you're quoting, OP. As for what to say in the moment, I would merely nod and say, yes, life happens, and ask when she will complete the immediate task. I would ask for a specific deadline, reiterate it with her and move on in the moment. However, I would document each and every instance of this and then take it to your boss (because you're not her boss) and explain that there is a problem meeting deadlines in your area because this person is not completing tasks and on this number of occasions her reason is that "life happens" and that you don't know how to address this. This, of course, is assuming that her unwillingness to complete tasks *is* hurting whatever work product you are involved in. If that is not the case, and you're not the boss, that's a whole other problem.

I would definitely not try to ask her about what she means or invite her to share her issues with you at the moment. If you do that, you're validating what is a lame and passive aggressive excuse for not doing her work. Depending on your working relationship, I suppose you could have a sit down with her at some other time, lay out the problem, give her specific examples of when she does this and ask her what can be done to improve the situation. Personally, I wouldn't do that, but it's a choice you have. I think, for me, the bottom line is that it isn't my business why she doesn't do her work. If she doesn't care about the work, then I don't care why. This may sound callous, but I'm only going on what you say about how she delivers the excuse. Now, if she really seems sorry when she says that and does appear to be overwhelmed by something and not breezily dismissive of you, then I'd handle it differently. I'd still do the the same in the moment, but I would be more likely to have a sit down with her at another time and ask what can be done and how I could help.

So, basically, I think there are several things you can do, but it depends on if she's giving you a careless excuse or if she's really got something going on.

FWIW, I don't think this is a ridiculous thing to be worried about. When a work product depends on people completing work and someone routinely doesn't deliver and gives what sounds like a lame excuse, it's stressful for everyone who relies on the work product.

Hope this helps.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:She's basically saying the task is at the bottom of her priority list. I'd address it from that perspective. If she's unwilling to treat it as a higher priority, and it's something that needs to get done, then perhaps you should talk to her boss.

+1

Don't escalate the attitude or respond to the sarcasm. And if it's a task that needs to get done, don't back down either.