From a struggling teacher

[Anonymous]

OP,

I totally understand. I taught for several years in that environment--though it was elementary. That was very tough--but the kids were sweet even though the behavior was horrible. PP who had suggested contacting the parents means well--but, if you haven't "been there" it is hard to understand how difficult it is to get the support from the parents. They love their kids--but.....

My suggestion is to set very simple goals for your class. Try different things. Maybe, stand at the door and greet each student with eye to eye contact when they arrive. Even if the student is sullen and belligerent, try to start each class fresh. (Much easier said than done!) I agree with the poster who said that you need to get back to basics. (It doesn't help that you also have testing pressure, but try to keep it simple.) Try to determine which kid is the most difficult and start with getting his attention. Try to really observe your troublemakers and make notes. Sometimes, there are things you see that might surprise you.

I remember one student I had that I really began to resent because she was so disruptive. I tried very hard, in the a.m. to think of all her good attributes (this was not easy). I do think that helps.

At the end of the class, try to find one good thing that happened. This is for you--so that you don't beat up on yourself so much.

At the end of the day, remind yourself that you are doing the best you know how. And , remember, you are making a difference even if you don't see the results. Remember, that chopping down a big tree takes a long time--every strike contributes to felling the tree. But, it won't be brought down with the first strike--and the last strike wouldn't fell the tree without all the others. I'm sure you are doing a great job!

[Anonymous]

Thanks to all especially PP. some very helpful tips on here.

[Anonymous]

I have a difficult student and I happened to have the same lunch time as he does. I asked him privately if he would be interested in coming to my classroom to eat lunch with me. I let him bring one friend too as long as the friend behaved himself. We all sat eating and talking. The both loved some video games so I asked them questions about them. Sometimes he didn't want to bring a friend which was fine. I got to know him a bit more and not surprisingly, he has a pretty crappy home life. I kind of let him talk as much or as little as he wanted about whatever topics he wanted. He loved writing on my mini whiteboards so we would play Picttionary and Hangman after we ate. I brought my son to work one day he had off school and this student was really looking forward to meeting him (I do talk about my son from time to time in class Just having lunch with this kid once a week away from a class full of students helped take the edge off him. He wanted attention so I gave it to him. He still misbehaved but it was more like middle school boy stuff trying to make his friends laugh. My teacher friend had a few kids who loved cracking jokes during class so she told them if they could get through a class with no joking around, she would let them tell one clean joke each at the beginning of the next class. You do the best you can do.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have a difficult student and I happened to have the same lunch time as he does. I asked him privately if he would be interested in coming to my classroom to eat lunch with me. I let him bring one friend too as long as the friend behaved himself. We all sat eating and talking. The both loved some video games so I asked them questions about them. Sometimes he didn't want to bring a friend which was fine. I got to know him a bit more and not surprisingly, he has a pretty crappy home life. I kind of let him talk as much or as little as he wanted about whatever topics he wanted. He loved writing on my mini whiteboards so we would play Picttionary and Hangman after we ate. I brought my son to work one day he had off school and this student was really looking forward to meeting him (I do talk about my son from time to time in class Just having lunch with this kid once a week away from a class full of students helped take the edge off him. He wanted attention so I gave it to him. He still misbehaved but it was more like middle school boy stuff trying to make his friends laugh. My teacher friend had a few kids who loved cracking jokes during class so she told them if they could get through a class with no joking around, she would let them tell one clean joke each at the beginning of the next class. You do the best you can do.

Forming a relationship does go a long way. Some of these kids' stories would break your heart. Some of these kids don't get to be kids outside of school. It is definitely exhausting, but try to be the good in their day in some way. My students also love to hear about my family and they ask to see pictures and really care. I mentioned offhand that my dog's birthday was coming up and the kid brought in a card he had made for my dog. We had come a long way from the beginning of the year when he would blatantly defy every direction given. But it has to be genuine interest--they can smell fake interest from a mile away.

[Anonymous]

Hang in there...

Great advice from lots of smart people here. I agree that the relationships are the most important piece to your puzzle. Just like you can get to know your students better, how about letting them get to know about you?
Could you do a fun powerpoint all about you? Dig up some photos of when you were their age and focus on some details of when you were in MS. Hobbies, favorite foods, favorite songs, movies, candy bar, ice cream flavor.
Help them find something to connect to.
You can give them a surprise quiz of all the details before you do the power point.
Maybe they can all take turns presenting themselves to the class along similar parameters like favorites: song, ice cream flavor, article of clothing, color, etc.
It could bond everyone as a class too.

Also, OP, I'm sure there are a few students that look to you a a source of stability in their lives. Please focus on the kids who you know look for you everyday. You are so important to them. Remember, just by showing up day after day, you are teaching all of your students.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Just curious. Have you ever tried reaching out to their parents? Maybe I'm naive. I'm not a teacher. I've had my DCs' teachers reach out to me about their unruly behavior at times (though this was in ES, so maybe it's different?). I set my kids straight, and they usually change their behavior in class. I fully believe it's a team effort. I know not all parents are engaged. Was just curious if this is something MS teachers would do.

Lol. I'm not OP, BUT I was teaching middle school in a low income school for ten years. The parents were worse than the kids. The ones who have behavioral issues largely are enabled to be this way. Bravo to you, Mom, however! I am impressed that you had the chops to parent.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Thanks everyone for tips. OP here. Thing is there are few more experienced teachers at the school. A coach has told me everything is great (when she observed one class), but I need to be more student driven, so I've tried to implement that.

The struggles really come in transitions. Just the whole class refusing to stop talking. They have had issues with behavior in academic classes consistently throughout the year (I only began teaching them a few weeks ago as it is a semester class). The issues are not specific to my class.

transitions: the old "do now" helps with that.

Try a short straightforward written assignment on the board as they enter. use it as the lead in to whatever you are teaching about that day so they are actually gearing up for the discussion. Give them not quite enough time and then collect it and grade it (needn't make it worth much). Do that a few days in the row.

Did this coach give you specifics on how to be more student driven? Without specifics that advice isn't worth anything.

[Anonymous]

Just wanted to offer a hug. I've often thought about going into teaching, but honestly I'd be most concerned about my classroom management skills. I actually taught SAT prep to dip my toe into it, and it was great with the middle class kids that I felt I could relate too, but I felt particularly challenged by the kids at either end of the spectrum. Just going to send you good vibes .

[Anonymous]

[guardian]

Anonymous wrote:I just want to say, I appreciate all you teachers. Hang in there.

Appreciate your teaching as well but I would tell you to look for a better teaching job. These are not your kids and you do not have to hang in there.
Care for yourself, they don't own you. GL

[Anonymous]

Hang in there dear, and just think that this will pass and a better day will come. If you have hope that things will change, it will be easier to handle the challenge every day.

I wish you all the best and Good luck!!!

[Anonymous]

Just remember that most teachers leave the profession by year 5 so you are really still in the "tough" years. Most teachers don't really find their ground until a couple years after that. I think I finally felt competent/less frustrated around years 8-10.

[Anonymous]

I never worked in a predominately low income school. My school was little low income, mostly middle and some high. But I still had disruptive students. Here are a few things I did.


1) Put the ball back into the Administrations court. I hated it when they would put disruptive students back into my classroom and tell me to deal with it. So I went to them and played the "I'm a dumb teacher and don't know what I'm doing. Can you with all your vast knowledge help me?" (eye roll) I asked a few admins to observe my class and give me some suggestions to help deal with these students. Sometimes they had decent ideas. Often, they would realize it wasn't me and I was doing my best with the disruptive kids. Didn't help with classroom management, but it did help me get the Admins on my side.

2) Ask the kid what they need from you. I often would pull the disruptive student aside and say, "Listen, I know you don't like getting in trouble. I don't like having to be the bad guy and punish you. But certain things have to be accomplished during class. And I want you to be successful in accomplishing those things. So what can I do to help you be more successful?"

They usually can't come up with any ideas at the moment. I might throw some things out like "what if we moved you away from your friends?" Or "Maybe we could have a secret signal that let you know you needed to calm down, take a deep breath, stop talking before you get in trouble." But I wouldn't do anything just yet. I would just say "Why don't you think about it and we'll talk again to come up with a plan that works for both of us"

I found that for many students feeling like they had a hand in solving the problem, got them on your side. You were a team mate not an authority figure.

3) If that didn't work, I would bribe them. But never, every praise them in front of their friends. I would tell them "If you can do X (or not do Y) for the whole class period, I'll give you a piece of candy." At the end of class, if they did what they were supposed to do, I would call them up to my desk with an angry tone. Then in whispers, with an angry look on my face, tell them how proud I was of them. Then under the desk, give them piece of candy. And very loudly and angrily say, "And I never want you to that again, do you understand?!" The disruptive kids LOVED IT! They got the praise they secretly desired while also keeping their reputation of being a 'bad' kid in front of their friends.

4) Remind them of the behavior expectations. "So today we are first going to do X, then Y. Remember, when we collect the papers from Activity X and I start to handout the supplies for Y, I expect you to remain in your seats."

[Anonymous]

I wonder if you know anyone from the elementary level you can reach out to, or a mentor at that level? I know you're at MS but they are transitioning and some of the behavior strategies I use with 5th might work with older kiddos, too--a call and response Chang that indicates they have to focus, for example (we use "watch me whip/watch me nae nae" right now),using a timer to transition--and if they do it in less time than is allotted, they earn a minute towards a game or activity at the end of the week, etc.

[Anonymous]

^^typo should say CHANT

[Anonymous]

Hugs OP. Have you tried high school or elementary? Keep looking. You sound like me early in my career. I started in a middle school in Alexandria city and I almost left teaching all together. I have been teaching in high school for many years now in a different district and it is a better fit for me. Maybe older or younger students would be better for you.