Weight Issues?

[Anonymous]

I'm no adolescent weight expert, but I think you would be better off meeting with the other family, finding common ground on weight, and then agreeing to lifestyle changes in terms of how both families eat. Then you are not focusing on her body or her self-image, but on the habits that will lay the foundation for her future health.

[Anonymous]

yet another DCUM here who has had an eating disorder for umpteen million years--ever since my parents started to "do something" about my chubby body at age 10/11. Let me just tell you that there's no horror like the nightmare of being on the Hilton Head Diet in 3rd grade. I've felt like a fat reject ever since.

[Anonymous]

OP here. I would never dream of even telling her that she was chunky or overweight. I am a women who is sensitive about my weight so I know its a tough subject. It could very well be something that she outgrows....which I hope is the case. I do want to proactively do everything to ensure that she is healthy and maintains healthy habits. Thank you to the poster who recommended "Girls on the Run". Both DH and I are runners, so it's right up our alley, and would be fun to do together.

[Anonymous]

One more thing - maybe the birth mom is part of the problem since she is the one taking her daughter to restaurants. That's the situation for my sister-in-law and her daughter. My SIL is in an unhappy marriage and overcompensates by giving her kids and herself comfort through food. In order for my niece to get fit, her mother would have to change her ways.

[Anonymous]

Girls On The Run is TERRIFIC!!!!

[Anonymous]

This may seem like a foolish question, but how do you go about encouraging portion control without seeming to hyper-manage how much the (older) child eats? By modeling? Or only allowing a certain number of helpings?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This may seem like a foolish question, but how do you go about encouraging portion control without seeming to hyper-manage how much the (older) child eats? By modeling? Or only allowing a certain number of helpings?

I'm the pp who wrote about my SIL and niece who struggle with weight. My MIL responds by lecturing my 10 yo niece (when SIL is not there) about correct portion size of things like chips and soda. This drives me crazy! The whole situation is dysfunctional. A kid shouldn't be eating chips and soda regularly. A kid shouldn't care about portion size. It's up to the adults to model correct portion size. And it's up to the adults to put healthy food in front of the child. There's no stress when you put a huge fruit salad on the table. Or a snack-size bowl of a mixture of nuts-raisins-and ww cereal.

Our family rule is no second helpings until you have eaten everything on your plate. And no third helpings allowed. Have a piece of fruit instead.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This may seem like a foolish question, but how do you go about encouraging portion control without seeming to hyper-manage how much the (older) child eats? By modeling? Or only allowing a certain number of helpings?

I'm the pp who wrote about my SIL and niece who struggle with weight. My MIL responds by lecturing my 10 yo niece (when SIL is not there) about correct portion size of things like chips and soda. This drives me crazy! The whole situation is dysfunctional. A kid shouldn't be eating chips and soda regularly. A kid shouldn't care about portion size. It's up to the adults to model correct portion size. And it's up to the adults to put healthy food in front of the child. There's no stress when you put a huge fruit salad on the table. Or a snack-size bowl of a mixture of nuts-raisins-and ww cereal.

Our family rule is no second helpings until you have eaten everything on your plate. And no third helpings allowed. Have a piece of fruit instead.

Our family rule is NO second helpings. You eat what you are served and that is it! No fatties in my house.

[Anonymous]

As someone who also struggled with body issues from puberty on for almost 20 years, this is what I would do.

I think the biggest thing you can do is to start having conversations about food in terms of giving good nutrients to one's body. Talk about needing to eat dairy for calcium, fruit and veggies for micronutrients and anti-oxidents, etc. Maybe check out a book or two about eating "superfoods" and have her see you read it, and talk about it at the dinner table. You want her to see it in terms of treating her body well and the health implications of doing so, not in terms of what she looks like. Once you start this, you can move into issues of overeating causing insulin resistance and digestive problems, and being careful about hidden poor nutrients in restaurant foods. You want to make sure not to talk about diets, or cutting back, or restricting foods, or labeling certain foods as "bad" and others a "good." You want to keep it on making smart choices, and how everyone has a responsibility to do that. And I would do this all slowly and gradually so she doesn't think it is aimed just at her, and because of her weight.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:As someone who also struggled with body issues from puberty on for almost 20 years, this is what I would do.

I think the biggest thing you can do is to start having conversations about food in terms of giving good nutrients to one's body. Talk about needing to eat dairy for calcium, fruit and veggies for micronutrients and anti-oxidents, etc. Maybe check out a book or two about eating "superfoods" and have her see you read it, and talk about it at the dinner table. You want her to see it in terms of treating her body well and the health implications of doing so, not in terms of what she looks like. Once you start this, you can move into issues of overeating causing insulin resistance and digestive problems, and being careful about hidden poor nutrients in restaurant foods. You want to make sure not to talk about diets, or cutting back, or restricting foods, or labeling certain foods as "bad" and others a "good." You want to keep it on making smart choices, and how everyone has a responsibility to do that. And I would do this all slowly and gradually so she doesn't think it is aimed just at her, and because of her weight.

Perfect. I think my husband and I can learn from this as well. "-)

[Anonymous]

I am the poster who recommended Girls on the Run - you are welcome.

Also, I read an article earlier this year about tweens/teens body image issues due to observations of adults. For example, if I am always on a diet and saying I am fat, saying I need to lose weight etc etc - children pick up on those messages. If instead I say, I really need to eat healthy, the message is different to the child. Even if you are on a diet please be aware of the messages you are sending to your children.