Neighborhood kids destroying our house

[Anonymous]

Supervise the kids. If you do not want them over, tell them no. Simple. We have told several kids no for many days before they got the hint. I'm not a free babysitter.

[Anonymous]

We had those neighbor kids. They broke so many toys-- with us watching in the same room. We had to start turning them away (also, parents were taking advantage of the free babysitting) and eventually, it stopped. We don't let them in our home- only outside play. You are the adult, you are in control.

[Anonymous]

How old are the kids?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How old are the kids?

Kids are 6-8 years old.

I should add that our kids just started the same school this year. I was very friendly to them since we were new to the school. I regret this very much! The parents seem to like us a lot because they are always wanting to hang out with us too. DH and I are just not interested.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We had those neighbor kids. They broke so many toys-- with us watching in the same room. We had to start turning them away (also, parents were taking advantage of the free babysitting) and eventually, it stopped. We don't let them in our home- only outside play. You are the adult, you are in control.

I am going to decline 100% of the time and hopefully they will get the hint. They are everywhere though - school, our community pool, after school activities, school events, etc. etc. etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

I think it is the parents that are worse. I say no ALL THE TIME. I always say, "next time". then the time comes and I make another excuse. problem is they see us, come to us, ask, ask and then ask again.

I also keep a very clean home. we take care of our stuff. we also happen to have multiple play rooms in our house so they love coming over.

Stop saying next time. Say "No." It's a full sentence.

And this (from a pp, I modified it slightly):

"Sorry kids, you smashed DS's lego sets yesterday, so you can't come over until you can respect our things."

[Anonymous]

How do you even break Legos? We have tons and kids throw them around but the pieces don't break!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How do you even break Legos? We have tons and kids throw them around but the pieces don't break!

The Legos don't break, but the set that takes time & effort to build come apart and then the pieces go flying everywhere and then it becomes very difficult or impossible to put them back together. My son had a couple friends who did this kind of thing. Very annoying.

[Anonymous]

I used to point to their house and say GO HOME.

[Anonymous]

"Sorry gang. Things got very destructive yesterday and Joey's Lego sets were all broken up. We're going to take a break from having friends play inside for a while."

[Anonymous]

Tell the kids why you are saying no - because they weren't respectful with the Lego sets. They are 6-8 years old, they probably have not figured this out on their own.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's your fault, OP. Stop telling them "next time."

Problem is my child likes to go to their house. Our house doesn't have video games. I limit screen time. When DS goes to their house, he gets to play unlimited video games. I almost want to get my kids video games just so they don't want to keep going over to the neighbor's house.

Sometimes being a good parent means telling your child "no."

Tell your DS you're taking a break from playdates with these neighbors.

[Anonymous]

So, you either supervise or you say no.

Grow a spine.

[Anonymous]

I agree with the PPs that this is a problem of your own making. Your house, your rules. You are expecting these kids to behave like yours but you've never explained the rules. When the kids in our neighborhood (including ours) were old enough to start going to a neighbor's house (including ours) independently, we parents spoke briefly about neighborhood rules. Here are some of them:

1. Kids feel free to knock on the door, parents feel free to say no and send them home.
2. Your house, your rules. Kids are expected to follow the rules.
3. Kids can't leave one neighbor's house for another without telling their own parent.
4. If a kid is supposed to be home at a certain time, that kid tells the parent of the house he's going to and that parent will set a timer.

Kids have had their share of arguments and unpleasant incidents. I've told neighbor kids to clean up before they leave my house and my kids have cleaned up at the neighbors. Sometimes they've needed a break from each other and no one had a problem with their kid getting sent home. It teaches the kids how to get along, how to handle conflict and keeps parents from getting angry and resentful - like you are.

[Anonymous]

But OP set no rules. Next time she should set rules and if they are disobeyed, she has something to fall back on. My kid's lego's get broken up with playdates sometimes but that's because I or my kids didn't set up rules beforehand on what needed to stay together and couldn't be touched. Since then, rules are set up before lego building starts, and all the kids we've had over have been able to follow them.