Skipping Mass before the Baptism?

[Anonymous]

I can't see how it would fly even if the Baptism is immediately following the Mass. I'm a lapsed Catholic myself and didn't choose to Baptise my child, but I respect the rituals and can't imagine just turning up and expecting a Baptism without attending the Mass that is scheduled to celebrate the additional sacrament of Baptism. It's not like a drive-thru where you can just drive up and dunk your kid with some water.

At my parents' parish, so many babies were being Baptised that they did move to make the ceremony after the Mass rather than interspersed with it, but families still sat in the front pews and we're still referenced through the Mass.

Ultimately, there's nothing stopping you and your mom fr being there. Save a seat for the baby and your brother and his wife, and remember that they are not you and their decisions don't reflect on you. Naps ARE important, and maybe Mass is just not something they'd be concerned about. That's on them, not you. The more you can let them make their own mistakes, in life as well as in parenting, the happier you will all be. Especially, hopefully, if you go on to have your own child(ren) and have a chance for the cousins to be close.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Missing Mass is a venial sin. Not a mortal one.

But missing the mass before your baby's baptism because of naptime is mortally tacky. Seriously, people are going overboard with naptime.

[Anonymous]

Everyone who wants to go to Mass beforehand should go and the others can join afterwards for the baptism ceremony. I agree that it is poor form for the guest of honor and parents to be absent from the Mass but I don't think the priest will say anything. Maybe just offer up and extra prayer for them.

[Anonymous]

Both of my kids' (catholic) baptisms were Saturday late morning affairs with no mass involved. We did them this way due to scheduling difficulties in both cases, but I really appreciated the more private feeling of each ceremony (though they were technically open to the public, we were the only ones there).

[Anonymous]

Our church doesn't do baptisms as part of a mass. It isn't required as part of the sacrament. Now if the church does them as part of the mass (which we have attended many times) you can't just skip that. Mass is perfect when it is over nap time since the baby sleeps!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I can't see how it would fly even if the Baptism is immediately following the Mass. I'm a lapsed Catholic myself and didn't choose to Baptise my child, but I respect the rituals and can't imagine just turning up and expecting a Baptism without attending the Mass that is scheduled to celebrate the additional sacrament of Baptism. It's not like a drive-thru where you can just drive up and dunk your kid with some water.

At my parents' parish, so many babies were being Baptised that they did move to make the ceremony after the Mass rather than interspersed with it, but families still sat in the front pews and we're still referenced through the Mass.

Ultimately, there's nothing stopping you and your mom fr being there. Save a seat for the baby and your brother and his wife, and remember that they are not you and their decisions don't reflect on you. Naps ARE important, and maybe Mass is just not something they'd be concerned about. That's on them, not you. The more you can let them make their own mistakes, in life as well as in parenting, the happier you will all be. Especially, hopefully, if you go on to have your own child(ren) and have a chance for the cousins to be close.

Thank you- I was wondering if anyone would bring this up, or the quote from the OP :"While my brother and SIL don't regularly attend church, they do want to give my niece the option of having a religious life."

The whole point of baptizing is to bring your child up in the Catholic Church. You are making a promise. That means you go to church and you bring your child up in the church. It's not to give them "options". The confirmation is when the kid exercises their options.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Missing Mass is a venial sin. Not a mortal one.

But missing the mass before your baby's baptism because of naptime is mortally tacky. Seriously, people are going overboard with naptime.

Especially for a nine month old.

[Anonymous]

The baby can nap during the mass! Jeez, it's really unacceptable to skip it.

[Anonymous]

"While my brother and SIL don't regularly attend church, they do want to give my niece the option of having a religious life."

I think that is such a common reason for lapsed Catholics who continue to baptize. But let's be honest-your niece is not going to have the option because they are clearly not going to expose her to religion in her life. Infant baptism is in no way required for her to have a religious life anyway. They could not baptize her and if later in life she finds she does want to join the church she could very easily be baptized as a teen or adult with absolutely no issue.

[Anonymous]

We skipped mass before our child's baptism and mass before all my god children's baptisms. We are Catholic. Everyone I know waits until the kid drops the morning nap to regularly attend mass. The priests have never noticed. I can't imagine asking a baby to sit quietly for 2 hours, especially at that age when they want to be crawling and moving around!

[Anonymous]

I don't know anyone who waits until baby is done with morning naps to go back to church. That's like a whole year!!! I have known some people who trade off--one parent goes to early mass, and the other goes to later. But most people just bring the baby. All the old ladies and those of us with older kids love it! It's the age 3 time that is the hardest because those kids are loud.

Also, super tacky to skip the mass before baptism. I think even my super atheist husband sat through the mass for the baptism (as he did for the first communions, my niece's confirmation, my niece's wedding, etc.). I've seen a people show up around communion time with a baby dressed for baptism and I think it's tacky.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:"While my brother and SIL don't regularly attend church, they do want to give my niece the option of having a religious life."

I think that is such a common reason for lapsed Catholics who continue to baptize. But let's be honest-your niece is not going to have the option because they are clearly not going to expose her to religion in her life. Infant baptism is in no way required for her to have a religious life anyway. They could not baptize her and if later in life she finds she does want to join the church she could very easily be baptized as a teen or adult with absolutely no issue.

I totally agree with this, but I also know what my Catholic grandmother and mom would say--still better for the baby to be baptized, as then they've received the Holy Spirit which will help them even if the parents never take the child to mass.

[Anonymous]

If the baptism isn't part of the Mass you don't have to go to it. You can go to any Mass Saturday evening or Sunday.

[Anonymous]

I'm not Catholic, but was a Christian witness to my nephew's baptism. It was during mass, so I went to mass (yuck). Had baptism been after mass, I would not have gone. In OP's situation, I think it's totally fine to not go, if you're not Catholic.

[Anonymous]

I think they should let the priest know they are not attending the mass though if he is the same priest who will be doing the Baptism. I think it's a courtesy and he would want to know.