Wrong about delivering food?
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Anonymous
+1 |
Anonymous
+ a million If you want to try again, send cheerful flowers or a gift certificate to a local restaurant that delivers. |
Anonymous
| OP A for effort; D for execution. |
Anonymous
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1) Eggplant Parm does not travel well as it will get soggy and gross.
2) Helping would have been offering assistance to her husband and kids while she is away. 3) Yes, you were wrong to ask her to pick it up. She is preparing to leave and has her kids/family and is probably very upset and stressed. 4) Did you see if she had a good way to transport it. She may not have a large cooler with ice? You had good intentions, but the execution was all wrong. I agree, next time gift card to Maggianos as they have good eggplant parm. |
Anonymous
| She literally might not be able to leave her mom at this point. My friend was like that when she cared for her mom. It got bad enough that she couldn't leave her alone and then they hired a night nurse. She truly might not have the time to get it. Go take it to her. |
Anonymous
| In my experience, having someone cook a meal for me as a favor is so much of a hassle for me that I'd rather nobody bother. You are going way overboard and asking way too much of your friend to obligate her go out and pick up food that she then has to cook, eat, and probably scrub a dish which she has to return to you. Then she has to write a thank you note to tell you how much they enjoyed your attempt at making something you've never made before and how good it was even though they may not have liked it because they are used to restaurant food (my own parents only eat prepared foods and shun all home-cooked food.) A pp was right. You should have ordered it and arranged to have it delivered to her house, fully prepared with no obligations. |
Anonymous
Or Vace's. |
Anonymous
| Sorry OP but the PPs are right. Someone set up a meal train for us once and i remember feeling distinctly uncomfortable about having to make small talk with everyone who came to the door with food (I'm not antisocial, it was obviously s rough time). I would never, ever have been up for a 20 min ride to pick up food from someone's elderly FIL! |
Anonymous
This. Frozen and reheated - blech. Sorry to tell you this but it will likely get thrown out and never eaten. I know it's disheartening since you put in all that time. These days I don't understand why people still do food deliveries. There are so many options to get "home made" food delivered that casseroles and such just are needed really. The worst is the ones for those who just had a new baby and it's the couples first kid. Really? I think they can manage to get take out and one of the adults can cook something simple. It's not 1950 for goodness sakes. |
Anonymous
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That was very kind of you. I know you are disappointed and it is sometimes hard to see beyond that.
Keep in mind that your friend's mother has cancer. She is uprooting her life to be with her during this scary and arduous time. She is likely being hit from all sides and picking up eggplant parmesan is likely pretty far down her list. I would not call her rude in this situation. I know you had the best intentions. Taking five hours to prepare a meal for a friend is a sweet thing to do. In the grand scheme of things like cancer of a parent that lives hours away it is however rather small. |
Anonymous
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shortly after we moved into our neighborhood, I cooked homemade chicken soup, fresh bread and salad for neighbor that just had a baby. They seemed shocked when I dropped it off.
As time went by, we never interacted with them, and did not interact much with other neighbors. It seems the neighbors did not really interact, many transients rentors and large asian families. There just was NO neighborhood. just a bunch of anonymous strangers. it became clear that I lived in a very different neighborhood than one I grew up in PA. |
Anonymous
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She is dealing with her mom's cancer and all that goes with that and you offer to be of help. How in the heck is it helpful for her to have to go out of her way to your FIL's house???
How helpful is that ??? You are not thinking clearly . It's not about you and how much time you spent making a dish for the first time . That was nuts on your part , you could have ordered it from a nice Italian restaurant, picked it up and delivered to your friend. You being miffed makes you all kinds of wrong. |
Anonymous
| It was very nice of you to make her a meal. She is probably super stressed right now and just doesn't have the energy to pick it up. I would either pick it up from FIL house and deliver it to her, let FIL eat it, or bring it home and eat it myself. |
Anonymous
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I don't think your friend is rude, OP. It was really kind of you to think of her and to make the dish. However, to put the onus of picking it up on her while she is preparing to go out of town to be with her sick mother is just wrong.
Sure, it is "only" 20 minutes, but think of how many other things she is trying to get done before leaving. Plus, what if there is traffic? What if she feels obligated to visit with your FIL? Not to mention that she would possibly have to purchase a cooler (and ice?) to get it wherever she is going. You should have delivered it the night before her trip, on her stoop (since it's freezing outside), packed in a small cooler and ready to go. Or at least just delivered it to her house at some point instead of making things more complicated for her. |
Anonymous
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Giving her another chore is not a gift, OP. You most certainly meant well. But, please don't inconvenience your friend (or FIL) any further. She is quite understandably pretty overwhelmed at present. Honestly, it would be incredibly self-absorbed of you to get upset about this. Unfair to make this about you. She's dealing with her mom (and mom's cancer treatment). She so totally gets a pass on this. She did nothing wrong. |