feeling like a failed parent

[Anonymous]

I cringe when I think of the way I treated my family when I went to college. I was the youngest girl of 4 and my mom cried when they dropped me off - I was so embarrassed and insensitive and couldn't wait for them to leave. They were wonderful, loving parents, yet even when I would come home on breaks they practically had to beg me to go out to dinner with them because I had so many high school friends to see. When my mom would get upset with me, my dad would step in and tell me that what I didn't realize is that they (my parents) were really the best friends I would ever have. He was right - they are in their 80s now (they were in their 40s when I was born) and I have been close to them for many years (since the first year after college). I'm glad I spread my wings and was so independent. They let me do that and I know it wasn't easy - hang in there - sometimes its hard for young adults to channel their mixed emotions about parents when they are trying to show how grown up they are.

[Anonymous]

I had the opposite experience. I was the only one out of 6 roommates whose mother never called. I called her every few weeks so my roommates would at least think I had a mother. I think she was just glad to finally be done raising kids. I didn't actually feel bad about it as we were not that close and I was very independant but I felt a weird "peer" pressure from the roommates who had what seemed like uber involved parents to at least act like I cared about calling home.