3-year-old who insists on having us repeat after him -- constantly

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just say no. I don't understand what the problem is. He's the child - he doesn't get to make demands. He gets to make requests, which the parents consider.

If he is doing this due to a developmental issue, you will only be creating more issues by "just say no".

Huh?

Anxiety disorders are commonly comorbid with ASD. Before you jump all over this, I don't know if OP's kid has anything.

Telling a kid with ASD to stop the repetitive behaviors or stimming is a good way to get an anxiety diagnosis in addition to the ASD.

I disagree. In mild cases of ASD, you can teach a child when certain behaviors are permitted and when they are not. My son wanted to stare at ceiling fans all day long. I told him there are times he could & times he couldn't. He wanted to flap his arms, I taught him to tap his hands on his legs instead. He didn't want to make eye contact, I told him, & made him, do it enough to at least appear polite.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Oh great, the "my kid has autism so your kid does too" mom is here.

You did not read what she wrote.

Sure I did. Everything is autism to her, and any quirky 3-year-old needs to be dragged to a 3 grand evaluation.

-An above poster suggested Childfind. Another suggested seeing a developmental pediatrician. Both good suggestions.

-Pediatricians are useless for diagnosing or ruling out HFA.

-3 yr old do not get 3 grand neuropsych evals

- no one said OP's kid has autism.

-you should shut up since you don't know anything

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just say no. I don't understand what the problem is. He's the child - he doesn't get to make demands. He gets to make requests, which the parents consider.

If he is doing this due to a developmental issue, you will only be creating more issues by "just say no".

Huh?

Anxiety disorders are commonly comorbid with ASD. Before you jump all over this, I don't know if OP's kid has anything.

Telling a kid with ASD to stop the repetitive behaviors or stimming is a good way to get an anxiety diagnosis in addition to the ASD.

I disagree. In mild cases of ASD, you can teach a child when certain behaviors are permitted and when they are not. My son wanted to stare at ceiling fans all day long. I told him there are times he could & times he couldn't. He wanted to flap his arms, I taught him to tap his hands on his legs instead. He didn't want to make eye contact, I told him, & made him, do it enough to at least appear polite.

You provided structure, context and alternative behaviors. Very well handled and completely different from"just say no."

[Anonymous]

Op here.

I'm not at all offended by an ASD parent offering suggestions as to how to constructively manage the behavior. Frankly that's why I posted the question here. Just because he hasn't been diagnosed doesn't mean that his anxiety and behavior can't be more constructively managed by applying the same tactics.

So thank you all for any and all constructive advice. Just saying no hasn't seemed to help; but again, only one parent is saying no.

[Anonymous]

New poster.

3 year olds not only get off on repetition, they get off on bossing their parents around. If this is something your child can get you to do -- in the manner of Simon Says -- it's going to be all the more fun. It's now a game. And it's a power game.

I'm not particularly impressed by the fact that your child has quirks, tics, etc.

Both of you need to say "I'm not playing that game right now" at least 90% of the time and see what happens.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Oh great, the "my kid has autism so your kid does too" mom is here.

You did not read what she wrote.

Sure I did. Everything is autism to her, and any quirky 3-year-old needs to be dragged to a 3 grand evaluation.

-An above poster suggested Childfind. Another suggested seeing a developmental pediatrician. Both good suggestions.

-Pediatricians are useless for diagnosing or ruling out HFA.

-3 yr old do not get 3 grand neuropsych evals

- no one said OP's kid has autism.

-you should shut up since you don't know anything

I know this particular poster is on every thread, suggesting autism for almost every set of issues.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The subject line says it all, but we have a 3-year-old (highly verbal) boy who has started on this kick where he dictated a sentence and then demands we repeat it.

The sentence may vary -- and is usually structurally complex -- but the demand for repetition does not. It is constant and almost unbearable.

He does have a few other obsessive interests and repetitive tics, but he's mostly normal. Engaging, funny, creative and pretty social (especially with people he knows).

He was evaluated at 2.5 for ASD by his pediatrician, and she insists he's fine. (Although I haven't asked her about this new behavior.)

Any ideas or suggestions for nipping this? I really don't want his 1-year-old brother to pick up this habit.

Thanks!

Have you tried something like Love and Logic for todllers? 3-year-olds are crazy; this is a nice set of tools for dealing with them.

https://www.loveandlogic.com/toddlers-and-pre-schoolers-mp3-download?gdftrk=gdfV216501_a_7c4290_a_7c15245_a_7c12_d_94_d_282&gclid=Cj0KEQiA-4i0BRCaudDcrrnDi6kBEiQAZSh5f182nGH3va8YWhykGzNsW1C4w3spXWB9s_dCHS0nDsgaAgSU8P8HAQ

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just say no. I don't understand what the problem is. He's the child - he doesn't get to make demands. He gets to make requests, which the parents consider.

If he is doing this due to a developmental issue, you will only be creating more issues by "just say no".

Huh?

Anxiety disorders are commonly comorbid with ASD. Before you jump all over this, I don't know if OP's kid has anything.

Telling a kid with ASD to stop the repetitive behaviors or stimming is a good way to get an anxiety diagnosis in addition to the ASD.

Your post isn't helpful. You assert that 'just saying no' will create more issues, yet you offer no alternatives. This leads one to think you believe OP should comply with the demand because the alternative is worse. Bullshit. Declining to participate in the stim (even if that's what this is) would not lead to anxiety. The child would find a different way to stim. Also, attempting to stop stimming doesn't cause anxiety. It may increase anxiety or bring it out but the propensity for anxiety must already be there.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just say no. I don't understand what the problem is. He's the child - he doesn't get to make demands. He gets to make requests, which the parents consider.

If he is doing this due to a developmental issue, you will only be creating more issues by "just say no".

Huh?

Anxiety disorders are commonly comorbid with ASD. Before you jump all over this, I don't know if OP's kid has anything.

Telling a kid with ASD to stop the repetitive behaviors or stimming is a good way to get an anxiety diagnosis in addition to the ASD.

Your post isn't helpful. You assert that 'just saying no' will create more issues, yet you offer no alternatives. This leads one to think you believe OP should comply with the demand because the alternative is worse. Bullshit. Declining to participate in the stim (even if that's what this is) would not lead to anxiety. The child would find a different way to stim. Also, attempting to stop stimming doesn't cause anxiety. It may increase anxiety or bring it out but the propensity for anxiety must already be there.

http://www.bbc.com/news/blogs-ouch-22771894

[Anonymous]

OP, can you get him a toy microphone or something? He can record his sentences into the toy and then play them back?

[Anonymous]

Or Chatimal, the talking hamster?

http://www.amazon.com/Chatimal-Talking-Hamster-Repeats-What/dp/B004AJXAV8

[Anonymous]

The Talking Tom app is really fun for this age.

[Anonymous]

Your post isn't helpful. You assert that 'just saying no' will create more issues, yet you offer no alternatives. This leads one to think you believe OP should comply with the demand because the alternative is worse. Bullshit. Declining to participate in the stim (even if that's what this is) would not lead to anxiety. The child would find a different way to stim. Also, attempting to stop stimming doesn't cause anxiety. It may increase anxiety or bring it out but the propensity for anxiety must already be there.


http://www.bbc.com/news/blogs-ouch-22771894

I don't get what this blog has to do with the PPs point that refusing to participate in a child's stimm will lead to anxiety.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just say no. I don't understand what the problem is. He's the child - he doesn't get to make demands. He gets to make requests, which the parents consider.

If he is doing this due to a developmental issue, you will only be creating more issues by "just say no".

Huh?

Anxiety disorders are commonly comorbid with ASD. Before you jump all over this, I don't know if OP's kid has anything.

Telling a kid with ASD to stop the repetitive behaviors or stimming is a good way to get an anxiety diagnosis in addition to the ASD.

Your post isn't helpful. You assert that 'just saying no' will create more issues, yet you offer no alternatives. This leads one to think you believe OP should comply with the demand because the alternative is worse. Bullshit. Declining to participate in the stim (even if that's what this is) would not lead to anxiety. The child would find a different way to stim. Also, attempting to stop stimming doesn't cause anxiety. It may increase anxiety or bring it out but the propensity for anxiety must already be there.

I agree. My son, who has special needs but is not autistic, has developed some stims that I had as a child. We redirect stims in public, because we don't want our child to develop the idea that anything goes in a public setting. At home, alone, he can do what he likes. Around others, he must direct his stims into appropriate, acceptable areas that don't distract others.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The Talking Tom app is really fun for this age.

+1 my DS used this when he was 3 but anything that will occupy and distract will work. Talking Tom has friends.

DS talked all the time at 3 but "why" questions not making us repeat his phrases. Made me nuts! So bad that I posted about it in gen parenting and got reamed by parents of kids with speech delays. He stopped the whys by four so there is hope although he still talks a lot but not inappropriately. We recently went to a fancy hotel afternoon tea with grandma and his uncle - about the last thing an 8 yr old boy with ASD/ADHD wants to do - and he did great.