Weigh in on this debate?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Before I had kids it would not have occurred to me to come help out either. I'm female also.

It's not like the guy has a bunch of toys or craft supplies or children's movies around the house. Now that I'm a parent, it MIGHT occur to me to come say "hey, we've got a Curious George dvd if the kids are bored." But really, what could he do? If the dad needed help, he should ask, or take the kids somewhere.

+1

[Anonymous]

Before I had kids, I would have assumed it would be rude/unwelcome of me to volunteer to help--as if I were presuming.

Now that I have kids, I'm going to enjoy my alone time. I'll gladly help if you ask, but you must *ask.*

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Before I had kids it would not have occurred to me to come help out either. I'm female also.

It's not like the guy has a bunch of toys or craft supplies or children's movies around the house. Now that I'm a parent, it MIGHT occur to me to come say "hey, we've got a Curious George dvd if the kids are bored." But really, what could he do? If the dad needed help, he should ask, or take the kids somewhere.

Dude. It would totally have occurred to me before I had kids, but I still wouldn't have come out. Seriously, your kids your problem. If you get in the weeds and ask for help I would pitch in, but not before.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Um, duh. Dad takes care of his own kids. If he needs help for a few minutes, he can politely ASK.

This. FWIW, I would've taken the two kids into the shower with me.

[Anonymous]

DHa should know how to take a quick shower with a 2 and 4 year old occupied with something for 5 minutes.
They can sit on the bed and watch something, how does he do it at home?
Where is the poster who always chimes in about men and women being equally qualified to take care of children no matter what. She would be horrified.

And Dhb. This poor man has a wife who is about to give birth (who knows what mood his wife has been in), he has a house full of people, and took his opportunity when the women were out of the house to contemplate his life for a couple hours.
He is about to watch a wet Saint Bernard squeeze itself through a car door.
Let him gather his thoughts for a moment, shall we?
DHa managed to get out for a run (and seriously we are supposed to believe he was stressed from getting lost? Unless you're posting from the south side of Chicago, I'm sure his Fitbit returned unscathed)

[Anonymous]

DHa has no right to be upset at DHb. DHa should be able to take a shower and handle his own kids. At least he got a run. If he had to wait 3 hrs to shower, it really is not a big deal at all. He could have put on a show for the kids. He could have left them alone for 5 min while he jumped in the shower. They would have been fine.

I have 2 kids ages 4 and 6. We don't like to stay at other people's homes. I personally much prefer a hotel. I feel like there is always some awkwardness.

[Anonymous]

Notice OP is never going to come back because there is no "debate"--DHa is her husband and she is mortified that he is such an inept dad.

[Anonymous]

DHa sounds like he has been spoiled by DWa doing all the heavy lifting of parenting since he appears to consider caring for his kids for three hours, and having to delay a shower, an imposition. DHa needs to learn how to take care of his own children. DHa needs to learn to ask for directions when lost and to ask for help when needed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DHa sounds like he has been spoiled by DWa doing all the heavy lifting of parenting since he appears to consider caring for his kids for three hours, and having to delay a shower, an imposition. DHa needs to learn how to take care of his own children. DHa needs to learn to ask for directions when lost and to ask for help when needed.

Spoiled by DWa aka OP!

[Anonymous]

Knock knock. "Hey Bob. I need to jump in the shower. Would you mind watching the kids for me for five minutes?"

WHY IS THAT DIFFICULT?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Notice OP is never going to come back because there is no "debate"--DHa is her husband and she is mortified that he is such an inept dad.

Haha wrong. I'm OP (and DWa). My husbands a great dad ands lends tons of time alone w the kids - not the "babysitting" kind at all. We aren't home, so he wasn't familiar with places to take the kids and it was pouring not rain so nowhere to go outside. They don't chill with tv, mich as we have tried.

Fwiw, he was annoyed with BIL (fil is useless). I told him what pp's had said - that BIL wasn't obligated to help out and didn't even get (doesn't have his own kids, stressed by upcoming baby) that it might be nice.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Notice OP is never going to come back because there is no "debate"--DHa is her husband and she is mortified that he is such an inept dad.

Haha wrong. I'm OP (and DWa). My husbands a great dad ands lends tons of time alone w the kids - not the "babysitting" kind at all. We aren't home, so he wasn't familiar with places to take the kids and it was pouring not rain so nowhere to go outside. They don't chill with tv, mich as we have tried.

Fwiw, he was annoyed with BIL (fil is useless). I told him what pp's had said - that BIL wasn't obligated to help out and didn't even get (doesn't have his own kids, stressed by upcoming baby) that it might be nice.

Spends not lends. Sigh. I travel a lot etc and he is with them as much if not more than I am. Also should clarify I told him BIL wasn't in the wrong before posting here - just wanted to get the DCUM vote

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Knock knock. "Hey Bob. I need to jump in the shower. Would you mind watching the kids for me for five minutes?"

WHY IS THAT DIFFICULT?

Didn't want to intrude I guess and/or thought he might be sleeping.

[Anonymous]

Next time he should take a bath with the kids that always is a distraction at that age and it would have the double effect of getting clean from the run.

Or go out in the pouring rain and jump in puddles for 30 minutes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Notice OP is never going to come back because there is no "debate"--DHa is her husband and she is mortified that he is such an inept dad.

Haha wrong. I'm OP (and DWa). My husbands a great dad ands lends tons of time alone w the kids - not the "babysitting" kind at all. We aren't home, so he wasn't familiar with places to take the kids and it was pouring not rain so nowhere to go outside. They don't chill with tv, mich as we have tried.

Fwiw, he was annoyed with BIL (fil is useless). I told him what pp's had said - that BIL wasn't obligated to help out and didn't even get (doesn't have his own kids, stressed by upcoming baby) that it might be nice.

Was Google broken?
Did you not know the name of the town you were going to or how long you'd be gone before you embarked upon your trip?
No matter where you are in America, you're probably less than 20 minutes from a McDonald's with a PlayLand.
You put toys on the bathroom floor and take a super-quick shower with the door/curtain partially open.
When he finds his balls, tell him next time to KNOCK ON THE DOOR AND ASK FOR HELP if he really needs help with his own kids.