Tell the other spouse?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think it a public health issue.

I told the husband in a short email.

I said I am sorry if you did not want to know but that I would so I was sending the email.

Good luck!

It's not a public health issue. THis was a private affair. Even if there were sloppy seconds, I don't see how this was a public health issue.

Are you that stupid??!! No your neighbor doesn't need to know but the cheated on spouse certainly deserves to know.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My now-ex cheated with a co-worker. The four of us were all friends (I thought)-as in went out just the four of us had celebrated a couple holidays together. I'm still friends with the other cheated on spouse, but I am still upset that she didn't tell me. I realize she was in a hard position, but the affair went on for months after she found out before I found out, and that hurts.

I would be hurt as well. Definitely tell.

[Anonymous]

Unless you know this person, I wouldn't tell. If it were a friend, I would. A stranger, no, I'd just deal with my issues.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think it a public health issue.

I told the husband in a short email.

I said I am sorry if you did not want to know but that I would so I was sending the email.

Good luck!

It's not a public health issue. THis was a private affair. Even if there were sloppy seconds, I don't see how this was a public health issue.

Are you that stupid??!! No your neighbor doesn't need to know but the cheated on spouse certainly deserves to know.

new poster here: OP, did spouse use protection? If not, maybe that's another reason to tell: full disclosure of a health matter.

OTOH, how stable is this other spouse? Do you expect a rash reaction -- against you or your family? That's a health matter too.

[Anonymous]

If you want to work things out with your spouse, then tell the other spouse. Otherwise, the other woman will still be lurking in the background hoping to rekindle things with your husband. Only her spouse can put an end to things on her end.

If you are done with your spouse, then move on. Who cares who he is with after you dump him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think it a public health issue.

I told the husband in a short email.

I said I am sorry if you did not want to know but that I would so I was sending the email.

Good luck!

And what was the response?

I told him that I am not into high dramatic situations. I knew he had 3 kids, I have 2. I asked him to not contact me and he did not.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think it a public health issue.

I told the husband in a short email.

I said I am sorry if you did not want to know but that I would so I was sending the email.

Good luck!

It's not a public health issue. THis was a private affair. Even if there were sloppy seconds, I don't see how this was a public health issue.

Are you that stupid??!! No your neighbor doesn't need to know but the cheated on spouse certainly deserves to know.

new poster here: OP, did spouse use protection? If not, maybe that's another reason to tell: full disclosure of a health matter.

OTOH, how stable is this other spouse? Do you expect a rash reaction -- against you or your family? That's a health matter too.

They did not use protection. People our age do not vaccinate for HPV but my 13 yo is. STDs are serious. Cervical cancer is real.

I knew them. He is low drama, so I did not expect domestic violence, but, yes that is a possibility. I would rather know when he found out than to wait for him to catch her, still a domestic violence possibility, but one I could prepare for if I knew when he found out.

[Anonymous]

Alternately, if you tell the other spouse they could instigate divorce and then your DH's mistress will become available.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Alternately, if you tell the other spouse they could instigate divorce and then your DH's mistress will become available.

It's likely he won't want her once she's available.

[Anonymous]

Tell.

Part of moving forward is not keeping secrets anymore. There should be no need to worry or concern yourself if word gets back to the other spouse. Have it all out in the open - not partially out in the open.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Alternately, if you tell the other spouse they could instigate divorce and then your DH's mistress will become available.

Because being married was a hindrance previously? People are going to do what they want to do, married or not.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Alternately, if you tell the other spouse they could instigate divorce and then your DH's mistress will become available.

Because being married was a hindrance previously? People are going to do what they want to do, married or not.

No I'm not suggesting that. It means she is "free" and therefore the DH could divorce in order to be free as well. No?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think it a public health issue.

I told the husband in a short email.

I said I am sorry if you did not want to know but that I would so I was sending the email.

Good luck!

It's not a public health issue. THis was a private affair. Even if there were sloppy seconds, I don't see how this was a public health issue.

Are you that stupid??!! No your neighbor doesn't need to know but the cheated on spouse certainly deserves to know.

You can't get an STD unless one partner had an STD. If you are worried, get the husband tested and tell if he is infected.

Don't bring this pain into someone else's marriage. Deal with your own stuff and leave them alone

No need to up the drama.

[Anonymous]

Telling can lead to murder or other nasty revenge. Passion and anger are not good to poke a stick at .

[Anonymous]

Tell