Another in-law vent

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You come across as not being very invitiing, OP. I suspect that you bear the lion's share of the blame for this situation.

I thought the same thing. Op, have you always been a drama queen? I see a huge element of "me, me, me" coming through.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The FIL request isn't unreasonable. Don't make the choice to view the request as criticism. It doesn't matter if you like them or not.

This requests requires no real effort on your part at all, op. You are manufacturing a reason to be offended.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, like the PP said, you cannot change the other person and only control yourself.

In my case, my MIL tends to be selfish. She does not like the baby stage and never helped us. She said she is "not into babies". When she came to visit during my pregnancy and I was on strict bed rest, she would go out for dinner and never offered to cook for me. When she left, she stripped the bed she was sleeping on and put the sheets on top of the washer for me to wash, etc. You get the idea.

I told my husband that I will NEVER forget that. She can forget about asking us for any help in the future. What goes around... Now my DD is older and she wants to come around more, but she has an older car and needs a new one. She does not have enough money to buy it. She knows better than to ask us for help. I sold our extra car at Carmax instead of giving it to her. Control what you can and don't worry about the MIL.

Never forget the sheets thing? Maybe she thought she was being helpful by stripping the bed at all. We have had may guests who just pull up the covers when they leave and don't remove their sheets. I always appreciate it when they take the sheets off for me.

If she had washed the sheet, my guess is that you would have bitched that she used the wrong cycle, the wrong detergent or some other wrong thing. You just can't please some people.

[Anonymous]

I'm team OP!!! Don't bitch about not getting pictures and you don't make an effort to spend any time with your grandchild

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, like the PP said, you cannot change the other person and only control yourself.

In my case, my MIL tends to be selfish. She does not like the baby stage and never helped us. She said she is "not into babies". When she came to visit during my pregnancy and I was on strict bed rest, she would go out for dinner and never offered to cook for me. When she left, she stripped the bed she was sleeping on and put the sheets on top of the washer for me to wash, etc. You get the idea.

I told my husband that I will NEVER forget that. She can forget about asking us for any help in the future. What goes around... Now my DD is older and she wants to come around more, but she has an older car and needs a new one. She does not have enough money to buy it. She knows better than to ask us for help. I sold our extra car at Carmax instead of giving it to her. Control what you can and don't worry about the MIL.

That is so odd. Why did she even come? I can't believe that she just left you and went out to dinner while you were home on bed rest.

[Anonymous]

What is the big deal about the bed stripping? They were trying to help.
Both my mom and MIL strip the sheets and put them on top of the washer. I wash them when I get to them and sometimes its done before they leave and they remake the bed. Sometimes it isn't and I remake the bed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What is the big deal about the bed stripping? They were trying to help.
Both my mom and MIL strip the sheets and put them on top of the washer. I wash them when I get to them and sometimes its done before they leave and they remake the bed. Sometimes it isn't and I remake the bed.

The PP was on *pregnancy bed rest.* Helpful = strip the bed AND do the laundry, or tell your son to do the laundry.

Understand between a "help" visit and a regular visit. If someone is ill/just had a baby, roll up your sleeves and HELP, or stay away until they are healed. During a regular visit, you can act a bit more like a guest. But even then, offer to help every now and then!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What is the big deal about the bed stripping? They were trying to help.
Both my mom and MIL strip the sheets and put them on top of the washer. I wash them when I get to them and sometimes its done before they leave and they remake the bed. Sometimes it isn't and I remake the bed.

PP was being a bitch. In my mind, this is the polite thing to do. And no I wouldn't wash it either because people are particular about how things are washed. I can't believe anyone would call this 'unforgivable.'

Notice also that PP said MIL didn't offer to cook when she went out to dinner. My guess is that she probably offered to pick her up some food. PP sounds like an entitled bitch. I also predict early divorce.