NYT article about baby who died first day of daycare

[Anonymous]

There is definitely something unnatural about leaving your infant when they are still at risk of dying simply due to how they are put to sleep.

[Anonymous]

This was an unlicensed daycare without certified caregivers. Obviously it's heartwrenching, and IMO no unlicensed daycares should exist.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:http://parenting.blogs.nytimes.com/2015/11/15/a-baby-dies-at-day-care-and-a-mother-asks-why-she-had-to-leave-him-so-soon/

Pretty gut-wrenching.

I think all mothers should get a minimum of one year at home with their infant, if they so choose.

This choice is currently available to mothers. What are you talking about?

The choice is availabke. Most women want the paycheck and wont give it up.

The mother said she only kept working for health insurance. We are still paying off a medical bill from when my husband was uninsured 5 years ago. I know that Obamacare is an option now, but I'm not sure how good the options are. I can fully understand her fear about being uninsured because you just never know when something bad will happen and you end up with a $20k bill from a hospital that ends up taking years to pay off.

[Anonymous]

I think it's a horrible thing that happened. That being said, she made the choice, no one forced her. If she wanted a year off, take the year off and all of the sacrifices and consequences that come with it. She chose not to, you can't blame "the system" because you are not willing to do whatever it takes. Yes, she kept her job for the insurance, but only because the other parent did freelance work. One of the solutions would be have that parent get a job with insurance, etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think it's a horrible thing that happened. That being said, she made the choice, no one forced her. If she wanted a year off, take the year off and all of the sacrifices and consequences that come with it. She chose not to, you can't blame "the system" because you are not willing to do whatever it takes. Yes, she kept her job for the insurance, but only because the other parent did freelance work. One of the solutions would be have that parent get a job with insurance, etc.

Victim blaming much? How many women do you really think can take a whole year off work (which, BTW, most women would be fired for -- you only get 12 weeks protected leave WITHOUT PAY with FMLA -- so it would effectively be leaving their job permanently)?

You sound like you're trying to blame the mom so you don't have to face the possibility this could happen to any mom, even one who really, REALLY loved her baby and made a ton of sacrifices.

You can't claim she made a choice when it's not a choice for most people. It's a necessity for most Americans to have two working parents. Get off your privileged high horse and GTFO.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:http://parenting.blogs.nytimes.com/2015/11/15/a-baby-dies-at-day-care-and-a-mother-asks-why-she-had-to-leave-him-so-soon/

Pretty gut-wrenching.

I think all mothers should get a minimum of one year at home with their infant, if they so choose.

This choice is currently available to mothers. What are you talking about?

The choice is availabke. Most women want the paycheck and wont give it up.

Most men want the paycheck too. Women simply want the same benefits men receive. That's all.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The statistics for SIDS and daycare are pretty suspicious, especially in combination with the fact that many of the kids are found to have been put on their stomachs to sleep. In fact, anecdotally, I have a few friends who discovered their babies were being placed on their stomachs at two separate daycares in DC, and they were sort of brushed off when they complained and told "oh yeah, the baby flipped" or something.

It's enough to make me suspect that daycare workers are regularly placing infants on their stomachs to sleep so they can sleep more deeply and sometimes, this happens.

I agree that it would be AMAZING for Americans to have 1 year parental leave. We should do all we can to work towards that goal policy-wise.

My baby was placed on his stomach in my highly rated Howard County daycare. They dismissively told me he flipped. I am 99% certain he didn't as he never had before and didn't do for the first time until weeks after. I pulled him that day.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The statistics for SIDS and daycare are pretty suspicious, especially in combination with the fact that many of the kids are found to have been put on their stomachs to sleep. In fact, anecdotally, I have a few friends who discovered their babies were being placed on their stomachs at two separate daycares in DC, and they were sort of brushed off when they complained and told "oh yeah, the baby flipped" or something.

It's enough to make me suspect that daycare workers are regularly placing infants on their stomachs to sleep so they can sleep more deeply and sometimes, this happens.

I agree that it would be AMAZING for Americans to have 1 year parental leave. We should do all we can to work towards that goal policy-wise.

My baby was placed on his stomach in my highly rated Howard County daycare. They dismissively told me he flipped. I am 99% certain he didn't as he never had before and didn't do for the first time until weeks after. I pulled him that day.

I should add they were fully licensed as well.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think it's a horrible thing that happened. That being said, she made the choice, no one forced her. If she wanted a year off, take the year off and all of the sacrifices and consequences that come with it. She chose not to, you can't blame "the system" because you are not willing to do whatever it takes. Yes, she kept her job for the insurance, but only because the other parent did freelance work. One of the solutions would be have that parent get a job with insurance, etc.

If you need money to live, childcare is not a choice.

FFS

[Anonymous]

I believe that Head Start should be de-funded since it's proven to not really work anyway and that instead universal child care subsidies should be provided to day care centers and should benefit all working parents. The centers would use the subsidy plus the tuition to provide better facilities and better teachers and staff.

Two fold result - better teachers and employees in centers as the salaries go up and parents get better choices.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think it's a horrible thing that happened. That being said, she made the choice, no one forced her. If she wanted a year off, take the year off and all of the sacrifices and consequences that come with it. She chose not to, you can't blame "the system" because you are not willing to do whatever it takes. Yes, she kept her job for the insurance, but only because the other parent did freelance work. One of the solutions would be have that parent get a job with insurance, etc.

Victim blaming much? How many women do you really think can take a whole year off work (which, BTW, most women would be fired for -- you only get 12 weeks protected leave WITHOUT PAY with FMLA -- so it would effectively be leaving their job permanently)?

You sound like you're trying to blame the mom so you don't have to face the possibility this could happen to any mom, even one who really, REALLY loved her baby and made a ton of sacrifices.

You can't claim she made a choice when it's not a choice for most people. It's a necessity for most Americans to have two working parents. Get off your privileged high horse and GTFO.

Did you read the article? She is blaming the fact that she had to go back to work sooner and could't take 2 more months off, on the "culture" that demands it, and has no system in place to let her take more time off. That is BS. She could have taken more time off, but did not want to risk losing her job or healthcare, she chose not to. No "culture" forced her to return to work.

[Anonymous]

This is such a tragic story. And I do see it as a parental leave related issue. The baby was improperly placed to sleep on his side. The parents presumably were placing him to sleep on his back at home, properly; thus, this would not have happened if he were still at home with a parent. I suspect that being placed on his side has a lot to do with his death.

Those who are blaming the mom are cruel (side note: why isn't anyone blaming the dad? Not that they should but it's telling that this is all being blamed on mom).

It's not a simple stay home or go back to work issue. It is not as though having a SAHP solves all problems and does not create any problems. Having one parent SAH is great in many ways, but it puts the family in a more precarious financial situation such that if the working parent loses his/her job, then the family can easily get into financial trouble quickly.

I have been both a WOHM and SAHM. Both have benefits to then family and drawbacks.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:http://parenting.blogs.nytimes.com/2015/11/15/a-baby-dies-at-day-care-and-a-mother-asks-why-she-had-to-leave-him-so-soon/

Pretty gut-wrenching.

I think all mothers should get a minimum of one year at home with their infant, if they so choose.

This choice is currently available to mothers. What are you talking about?

The choice is availabke. Most women want the paycheck and wont give it up.

I don't "want" my paycheck. I NEED it in order to not be homeless and to feed my family.

[Anonymous]

^PP here. I meant to add that yes, she chose to go back to work. She and her husband weighed the options and decided that was what was best for the family. The real problem here is that the options that are available to families are so limited and not family-friendly.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The statistics for SIDS and daycare are pretty suspicious, especially in combination with the fact that many of the kids are found to have been put on their stomachs to sleep. In fact, anecdotally, I have a few friends who discovered their babies were being placed on their stomachs at two separate daycares in DC, and they were sort of brushed off when they complained and told "oh yeah, the baby flipped" or something.

It's enough to make me suspect that daycare workers are regularly placing infants on their stomachs to sleep so they can sleep more deeply and sometimes, this happens.

I agree that it would be AMAZING for Americans to have 1 year parental leave. We should do all we can to work towards that goal policy-wise.

My baby was placed on his stomach in my highly rated Howard County daycare. They dismissively told me he flipped. I am 99% certain he didn't as he never had before and didn't do for the first time until weeks after. I pulled him that day.

I should add they were fully licensed as well.

I would bet this happens a lot at a LOT of fully-licensed centers.