Psychiatrist? WWYD?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For us it took finding a good psychologist and psychiatrist that worked TOGETHER. Different, but challenging issues. We turned a corner with the right medication and a trusted relationship DD developed with her therapist. FWIW we had to go through 3 therapists before we found the right fit.

Got it. My husband is gone a lot and will be for work. I feel overwhelmed thinking about handling this "alone" which I will be. He (my husband) also does not deal with counseling, feelings, etc. very well. He honestly only sees a minor problem, where as I know there is something bigger going on and that if we don't start to address it is just going to get worse and potentially scarier in terms of repercussions.

OP, once you have your son in whatever therapy he needs -- and I hope it's very soon, because a kid swinging a baseball bat destroying things inside the house is beyond a "red flag" -- that psychiatrist and/or psychologist must, must, must have a serious face to face talk with your husband. In person, not by phone or e-mail. Your husband has to be on board here and fully engaged, or your son might end up interpreting dad's non-involvement as, first, a lack of interest in son, and second, a message that all this psycho-babble and feelings stuff is just crap. Depends on how son regards dad. Either way your husband is sending your son a message if dad leaves all this in your lap, and neither message is conducive your son getting better or opening up to a doctor. I really hope for not just son's sake but for yours that dad can at least admit that this is not normal teen/tween anger and that early intervention is needed.

This may be a case where the therapist has to talk to your husband about making a way to be present much more in the family's day to day life at least temporarily, until your son is seeing some positive effects from professional help. Some people will listen to a third party professional when they ignore what a spouse says--unfortunate but true.

I hope you, too, will not hesitate to tell the doctors that YOU feel overwhelmed and alone in this. Your own mental health is very important to helping your son, OP. As someone else has noted on this thread, family counseling sounds like a possible need here, though I would think that getting son's immediate impulse control issues under treatment might come first.

Don't forget to make an ally of his school --the counselors there might have more ideas and be more help than you realize. Son is already on their radar and not in a good way, but do not let that make you hesitate to tell them what's going on. Go to them and explain that you are seeking ASAP to find help and would welcome any input they can give you. School counselors are there for parents, not just for kids. I hope your school has good ones.

[Anonymous]

I would seek out a psychiatrist that will not only with him but meet with you and help you figure out what you need to do. I ppactually, we took our son at age 8 ( for other reasons) and the bulk of it was her meeting with us to work out how we handled the behavior.

A psychiatrist can also tell you if medication is recommended.

I know I feared calling one, because it made the problem seem more real, but honestly, it was a huge relief to have someone else help ypu understand what is going on.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For us it took finding a good psychologist and psychiatrist that worked TOGETHER. Different, but challenging issues. We turned a corner with the right medication and a trusted relationship DD developed with her therapist. FWIW we had to go through 3 therapists before we found the right fit.

Got it. My husband is gone a lot and will be for work. I feel overwhelmed thinking about handling this "alone" which I will be. He (my husband) also does not deal with counseling, feelings, etc. very well. He honestly only sees a minor problem, where as I know there is something bigger going on and that if we don't start to address it is just going to get worse and potentially scarier in terms of repercussions.

In some ways it gets harder, because as you experiment with what works, all the problems rise to the surface. But you will not be alone. The experts are there to help you. And my DH suddenly became willing to attend once he realized it could make a difference.

[Anonymous]

Just wanted to reiterate what a PP said that it's how you handle things that will make a difference.

Nature vs. nurture.

Nature --> your child was born with a temperament that was not within your control.
Nurture---> this is what you can do something about

[Anonymous]

I think a cognitive behavioral psychologist can help with strategies he can use to manage anger. There are work books on Amazon on anger mgmt for teens, or have a look at the incredible 5 pt scale. My son has mild ASD and has major meltdowns like this but is slowly beginning to learn strategies to self regulate. I think CBT has advantages over a medication approach. I personally would not get school involved. Ross Green has several books that are interesting including books on the topic of collaborative problem solving. Best wishes.