Impact of (my) sexual abuse on (my) relationships

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm sorry you went through this OP. As someone who's patterned my dysfunctional romantic relationships off my parents' bad relationship, it makes me wonder if your parents' relationship had any impact at all? Or has it all been (understandably) overshadowed by the abuse?

While my parent's relationship was not good, that had nothing to do with my disfunction. From outward appearances, I was asexual as a teen; my mom assumed I was gay until she discovered some porn.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, the difference is the way you described the abuse. I don't know too many girls who would have described it the way you did, as a mutual encounter and a seduction where you felt like you got lucky.

Way to go blaming the victim. You sicken me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, the difference is the way you described the abuse. I don't know too many girls who would have described it the way you did, as a mutual encounter and a seduction where you felt like you got lucky.

Way to go blaming the victim. You sicken me.

So many of these responses are disgusting.
A person shares a past experience of rape and the apparently some think it's appropriate to make jokes and blame the person who was abused.
And we wonder why men don't share their problems.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, the difference is the way you described the abuse. I don't know too many girls who would have described it the way you did, as a mutual encounter and a seduction where you felt like you got lucky.

Way to go blaming the victim. You sicken me.

So many of these responses are disgusting.
A person shares a past experience of rape and the apparently some think it's appropriate to make jokes and blame the person who was abused.
And we wonder why men don't share their problems.

OP here. The problem is, as a society, we do not think of the women as potential abusers (and it is not as common). However, how often have you heard of teachers falling for middle school students and having relationships with them? We hear of a dozen cases a year, and it is probably going to happen 10x more, at least. Why? Who is going to report? They boy is ingrained that he is "getting lucky", even though it completely fucks up is ability to have normal (consensual) relationships. That was the point of me writing.

In my case, I ended up feeling alone; feeling worthless. I was in a deep and dark place when I got help. I had isolated from everyone. I was drinking heavily. I only got the help after I snapped at school, and was given a choice...help or throw away the last 5 years of my life (5 years into grad school). They made it clear they want me to get the help I needed, and were good about seeing me through the ups and downs.

[Anonymous]

I don't disagree with any of this, but I still have kind of a thing for Debra Lafave:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Debra_Lafave

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't disagree with any of this, but I still have kind of a thing for Debra Lafave:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Debra_Lafave

So you like rapists?