How to peacefully end a friendship with a needy friend?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Really??? When I was young and single the guys we were seeing were a main topic of our conversations. Of course she's going to talk about this guy especially if she is in love with him! You don't sound very supportive or patient.

Listen to her, offer any insights you might have and then move onto something else.

OP HERE:

My patience has a limit! The same story for months! How can I be supportive whenever I give her advice she's doing what she wants and after that I need to listen about that for hours?

You hang on to eventually reach the 'I told you so' phase

Have you straight up told her you have a limit to how long you can discuss the topic?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Really??? When I was young and single the guys we were seeing were a main topic of our conversations. Of course she's going to talk about this guy especially if she is in love with him! You don't sound very supportive or patient.

Listen to her, offer any insights you might have and then move onto something else.

OP HERE:

My patience has a limit! The same story for months! How can I be supportive whenever I give her advice she's doing what she wants and after that I need to listen about that for hours?

Hi OP, I'm not the person you're responding to, and I agree that you need to limit your availability and change the subject.

But my question for you first is, how much have you told her how you feel about her bringing the same problems to you but never taking your advice? Have you actuallly said to her that you've reached your limit in talking about the guy because she doesn't listen to you anyway, so if you're going to hang out you guys need to talk about other things as well, and you're all out of advice?

I *always* believe in trying to communicate how you feel first, and then if that doesn't work you disengage. But if you haven't told her how you feel, how do you expect her to decide whether she wants to try to change how she talks to you or not? You haven't given hear a chance if you haven't told her this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Really??? When I was young and single the guys we were seeing were a main topic of our conversations. Of course she's going to talk about this guy especially if she is in love with him! You don't sound very supportive or patient.

Listen to her, offer any insights you might have and then move onto something else.

OP HERE:

My patience has a limit! The same story for months! How can I be supportive whenever I give her advice she's doing what she wants and after that I need to listen about that for hours?

Hi OP, I'm not the person you're responding to, and I agree that you need to limit your availability and change the subject.

But my question for you first is, how much have you told her how you feel about her bringing the same problems to you but never taking your advice? Have you actuallly said to her that you've reached your limit in talking about the guy because she doesn't listen to you anyway, so if you're going to hang out you guys need to talk about other things as well, and you're all out of advice?

I *always* believe in trying to communicate how you feel first, and then if that doesn't work you disengage. But if you haven't told her how you feel, how do you expect her to decide whether she wants to try to change how she talks to you or not? You haven't given hear a chance if you haven't told her this.

OP here: I've been talking for months and nothing has changed. I didn't want to cut her off before I explain myself, which I did. Then somehow, she said that I'm against their relationship (only because I'm honest and I see the real story), so that was my sign that I should be "busy" all the time.
Thank you.