Ex boyfriend got married today

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My ex boyfriend of 5 years got married today and I don't know how I feel about it. We were together for 5 years and broke up in 2012 so it's been awhile and we haven't been in contact in about 6 months. I thought about him a few times today and wondered how his wedding was, if he was happy, etc. One side of me was kind of sad because for the longest time, I thought that would be him and I getting married but then another part of me realizes that I am in a happy relationship and am happy for him but it's still just weird. Has anyone gone through this and had the same feelings?

Do you mean that you feel like he is the "one that got away"?

OP here: Not necessarily. We were together for 5 years but the last 2 years weren't that great. We fought a lot, he said mean things to me, we'd break up but we'd always end up back together after a day or two. It was very unhealthy in the end and the breaking point was him cheating on me. We tried to work through it but I just couldn't get past that. But with that said, it's still weird and kind of sad to think of him now married. I spent 5 years with him and always had seen us getting married in the end but obviously things didn't work out. I'm in a relationship now where we are just starting to talk about engagement and all that so I am happy but I still was a little "sad" over the thought of my ex now being married.

Don't worry. I get it. Basically a door in your life just closed, along with some of your youth and seemingly endless possibilities.

[Anonymous]

I think this is normal. I did the same when I found out someone I loved was getting married. Just because you are not together anymore does not mean you still don't have some love or feelings for them. I actually think you are very strong knowing that even though you loved this person, you realized it was not healthy for you anymore and you walked away. Sometimes people grow apart, but love can always remain. Good for you for allowing yourself to feel the emotions, grieve for it for a bit and move on. That is real strength.

[Anonymous]

you've over-romanticized your relationship with your ex. you should figure out why you would still have any feelings for someone who treated you badly and who also cheated on you.

pull yourself together, focus on the man you have now and forget about the rest. pining about the past is good for only one thing - to screw up anything healthy that you might have at the present.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:you've over-romanticized your relationship with your ex. you should figure out why you would still have any feelings for someone who treated you badly and who also cheated on you.

pull yourself together, focus on the man you have now and forget about the rest. pining about the past is good for only one thing - to screw up anything healthy that you might have at the present.

OP here- I never once said that I have any feelings for my ex boyfriend. I just said that it's hard to not think of the "what ifs" and it's weird thinking that a guy I was with for FIVE YEARS is now married. Simple as that and from what I gather, I'm not the only one who has felt this way.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:you've over-romanticized your relationship with your ex. you should figure out why you would still have any feelings for someone who treated you badly and who also cheated on you.

pull yourself together, focus on the man you have now and forget about the rest. pining about the past is good for only one thing - to screw up anything healthy that you might have at the present.

OP here- I never once said that I have any feelings for my ex boyfriend. I just said that it's hard to not think of the "what ifs" and it's weird thinking that a guy I was with for FIVE YEARS is now married. Simple as that and from what I gather, I'm not the only one who has felt this way.

sure honey, whatever lets you sleep at night

[Anonymous]

Op I totally understand because I had the same thing happen to me. Was he your first love? I am married now with a baby on the way. It was hard though when I realized my ex boyfriend got married a few years back. But now I kinda like what pp said about pulling yourself together. You're so much better to be without him. I am with a wonderful guy now because of that breakup

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op I totally understand because I had the same thing happen to me. Was he your first love? I am married now with a baby on the way. It was hard though when I realized my ex boyfriend got married a few years back. But now I kinda like what pp said about pulling yourself together. You're so much better to be without him. I am with a wonderful guy now because of that breakup

Yes he was. We were together from the time we were 17-22

[Anonymous]

Yeah lots of what ifs there, him treating you like shit, cheating on you some more and bringing home some herpes. I can see why you would pine away for that, oh the opportunities you've missed....

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yeah lots of what ifs there, him treating you like shit, cheating on you some more and bringing home some herpes. I can see why you would pine away for that, oh the opportunities you've missed....

Are you bored tonight? Get a life and stop sock puppeting

[Anonymous]

I get it, OP. It was weird when my exbf from college got married. Then I realized how weird it must have been for my more recent ex (broke up early 2012) to find out I got married, then a year and a half later, had a kid! I'm happily married but I still think about them sometimes and wonder what they're up to. I think they do the same for me, it's only normal. They congratulated me on these major events in my life, which I think is nice.

[Anonymous]

I am sure you are still mourning the loss of a dream with him. Considering you spent so much time with this man, with your whole heart invested....It's completely understandable to feel a little "off" when he finally settles down. Esp. if he does it before you do.

He will always have a section of your heart. He played a big part in your life.

However that being said, keep looking ahead vs. backward.

That is where your true happiness lies.

[Anonymous]

You dodged a bullet, OP.

Best wishes.