feeling sad and worried and would love some how it turned out stories - delays, possible ADHD

[Anonymous]

My son is 11. When he was 3.5, it was the absolute bottom for us. He was nearly kicked out of preschool, he had sensory issues, anxiety, delays and repetitive behaviors. He was also happy and loved to snuggle but everything was a challenge.

He was diagnosed with ASD just before 4, and the next few years (I won't lie) were rough. But around 3rd grade, things got a LOT better. He is a delightful if quirky 11 yo, very bright and happy.

[Anonymous]

Not the OP, but a frequent, almost daily rider of the worry boat. So reassuring to read.
Thanks! Gives me hope.
Best wishes to all of us.

[Anonymous]

Op I can commiserate completely. My son is now 4.5. He is getting OT, in a playgroup and in a therapeutic preschool. Behavioral issues started exactly at 3.5 years old. Was potty trained for pee at 3.5 and not for poop until just turning 4.

He was more or less kicked out of regular preschool for behavioral issues. It has been really stressful but I am much happier that he is now in a preschool that understands his issues. He is much like your son- loving sweet, loves to snuggle He is sensory seeking and needs constant input. He is also sensory avoidant and goes nuts if there is too much auditory or visual stimulation. His biggest issue is staying regulated. His dev ped has not officially diagnosed him with ADHD but said he will list likely get that diagnosis. He has even suggested we think about meds if things dont improve.
I'm also still thinking he might have high functioning autism, but pediatrician is not fully convinced yet. Wants to see how he does starting K next year.
It's very hard sometimes be friends just don't get it AT ALL. I do get jealous at times when they talk about their kids being able to do group sports - have lots a friends and just don't have the issues my son has.
On the other hand my son is beautiful bright and inquisitive and funny. He has a lot going for him and I try to remember that. I am concerned about school and him getting down and depressed as he gets older. I worry about him being able make friends or even last in a regular kindergarten class.
We still have a year until K so a lot can improve between now and then. I'm trying to remember that and stay positive. It is hard when my son is having a bad day and had a massive meltdown- those are the days that suck.
We have put him swimming and just started karate. Both seem to be beneficial.
Anyway sorry this is practically a novel. Wanted to let you know you aren't alone. It's hard to stay positive sometimes and think things will never improve- but thry will- it may just take a little longer than other kids to get there.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op I can commiserate completely. My son is now 4.5. He is getting OT, in a playgroup and in a therapeutic preschool. Behavioral issues started exactly at 3.5 years old. Was potty trained for pee at 3.5 and not for poop until just turning 4.

He was more or less kicked out of regular preschool for behavioral issues. It has been really stressful but I am much happier that he is now in a preschool that understands his issues. He is much like your son- loving sweet, loves to snuggle He is sensory seeking and needs constant input. He is also sensory avoidant and goes nuts if there is too much auditory or visual stimulation. His biggest issue is staying regulated. His dev ped has not officially diagnosed him with ADHD but said he will list likely get that diagnosis. He has even suggested we think about meds if things dont improve.
I'm also still thinking he might have high functioning autism, but pediatrician is not fully convinced yet. Wants to see how he does starting K next year.
It's very hard sometimes be friends just don't get it AT ALL. I do get jealous at times when they talk about their kids being able to do group sports - have lots a friends and just don't have the issues my son has.
On the other hand my son is beautiful bright and inquisitive and funny. He has a lot going for him and I try to remember that. I am concerned about school and him getting down and depressed as he gets older. I worry about him being able make friends or even last in a regular kindergarten class.
We still have a year until K so a lot can improve between now and then. I'm trying to remember that and stay positive. It is hard when my son is having a bad day and had a massive meltdown- those are the days that suck.
We have put him swimming and just started karate. Both seem to be beneficial.
Anyway sorry this is practically a novel. Wanted to let you know you aren't alone. It's hard to stay positive sometimes and think things will never improve- but thry will- it may just take a little longer than other kids to get there.

Thanks so much for this, and for all of your posts. This sounds a LOT like what we are dealing with - sometimes I suspect HFA but we don't really have any of the "classic" markers and I have heard that severe ADHD can look a lot like HFA. So, who knows. I hear you on the social thing - I often feel so lonely because I have a ton of friends with kids and we really can't go to someone's BBQ or have a nice hill party - it is just too stressful. I do really worry about K and it is quite a way away. I am thinking about pursuing something like Maddux if it is a good fit. It is really hard with "subtle" issues like this because outside people really just do not understand. Makes you lonely and sad. So it is lovely to have all of this support and understanding and practical advice.

[Anonymous]

If you do come to Maddux, you will make friends who will not judge your kid at a backyard BBQ. I'm sure other SN schools are similar. And +1 on the murky line between ADHD and HFA. Most of my friends' kids who have "just" an ADHD diagnosis also do some characteristically autistic things. It's a big soup.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If you do come to Maddux, you will make friends who will not judge your kid at a backyard BBQ. I'm sure other SN schools are similar. And +1 on the murky line between ADHD and HFA. Most of my friends' kids who have "just" an ADHD diagnosis also do some characteristically autistic things. It's a big soup.

Second this. We are at Maddux, and it's a great school for exactly the type of kid described in this post.

[Anonymous]

OP - my son has ADHD and a social pragmatic language disability. When he was three, I was riddled with anxiety about his constant over the too behavioral problems. He had no cognitive delays (he's highly gifted) and could be so sweet- but he threw horrific temper tantrums and was *so* defiant. No one could tell me what was going on-- only "wait and see."

We didn't receive a definitive diagnosis until the 2nd grade. I won't sugar coat it- some days are very hard. My DS struggles with emotional self control and doesn't fit in socially with his peers. However, he's smart, curious, driven when he wants to accomplish something-- just an an amazing kid.

I don't want him to have a hard life- but his challenges are part of who he is- he knows he struggles, and he knows why. He works incredibly hard on things that come naturally to other children. I wouldn't change this roller coaster for any other reason than to help *him* be happier and more content.

[Anonymous]

Note from an old person: all the adults I know who had significant ADHD as kids are successful chefs today. The hyper environment of the professional kitchen is tailor made for them.

I think that the best thing to do is to think outside the box when it comes to post-secondary education and training. Your kid will have a skill or strength; there are resources out there to help you identify it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Note from an old person: all the adults I know who had significant ADHD as kids are successful chefs today. The hyper environment of the professional kitchen is tailor made for them.

I think that the best thing to do is to think outside the box when it comes to post-secondary education and training. Your kid will have a skill or strength; there are resources out there to help you identify it.

+1. My child's psychiatrists told us a lot of Emergency room surgeons has/had ADHD as kids. We personally know one who did emergency medicine and then went on to join the FBI. Before med school he was a police officer and then an engineer with IBM. He did stick with the FBI though.

[Anonymous]

We have been on an uphill climb since my son was born. He had social and emotional delays. He has ADHD, fairly significant. He has been bullied. We have shed many tears for him.

I have come to realize God has a plan and it is perfect. Its not always clear when someone we love is struggling. But it elicits love and sharing of information, support, and greater kindness. At least that is one positive outcome.

My son did camp this summer and now, finally, at age 12, had kids asking for his phone number so they could hang out with him. That NEVER happened before. These are neurotypical children who are ASKING for my sons company.

He still has great issues but he is improving.

Keep looking for better therapists and programs and tryeverything.
My s