phone number on early teen's cell that parent does not recognize

[Anonymous]

Depends on the text msg.
If it's "hey sexy, what color are your panties today?" that's very different from "which page do we need to read to in Kimm's class?" and would be handled differently.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:"Hey, who texted you today? I don't recognize that number. By the way, I know we didn't discuss this before, but I don't want you giving out your number to people without telling me first."

That would be so embarrassing. I can't imagining not wanting my high schooler not to be able to text their friends without my explicit permission. And to have to explain to her friends when they ask for her number, "I'm sorry. My mom says I need to ask permission to give you my number." She'd be mortified. I'm sure that woul be the last time anyone asks for her number too. We're not talking about kindergarteners giving tier phone number to strangers at the park. It's a "young teen" so probably a high schooler and his or her peers. It's totally normal for them to text and receive texts with people at school, sports, clubs, etc, some of whom you may not know.

She said early teen. I assumed middle school.

Aren't freshmen 13-14 unless redshirted?

Even so, in eighth grade, that's still ridiculously embarrassing.

"Wanna go see a movie on Friday? Can I have your number so I can text you details?"

"I don't know. I have to ask my mom. I'll let you know if I'm allowed to text you in a few days if she gives her permission. She has to approve all the contacts in my phone before I give out my number to friends."

"Umm... Never mind."

So what? Most of what parents do is embarrassing to their teens. It's our job.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:"Hey, who texted you today? I don't recognize that number. By the way, I know we didn't discuss this before, but I don't want you giving out your number to people without telling me first."

That would be so embarrassing. I can't imagining not wanting my high schooler not to be able to text their friends without my explicit permission. And to have to explain to her friends when they ask for her number, "I'm sorry. My mom says I need to ask permission to give you my number." She'd be mortified. I'm sure that woul be the last time anyone asks for her number too. We're not talking about kindergarteners giving tier phone number to strangers at the park. It's a "young teen" so probably a high schooler and his or her peers. It's totally normal for them to text and receive texts with people at school, sports, clubs, etc, some of whom you may not know.

She said early teen. I assumed middle school.

Aren't freshmen 13-14 unless redshirted?

Even so, in eighth grade, that's still ridiculously embarrassing.

"Wanna go see a movie on Friday? Can I have your number so I can text you details?"

"I don't know. I have to ask my mom. I'll let you know if I'm allowed to text you in a few days if she gives her permission. She has to approve all the contacts in my phone before I give out my number to friends."

"Umm... Never mind."

So what? Most of what parents do is embarrassing to their teens. It's our job.

Different PP here. Sure, if necessary, but that just seems pointlessly embarrassing. What is the benefit to causing this situation, really? Seems to me giving a friend your phone number is a perfectly normal and acceptable part of social interaction, so I'm not sure why I would need to give specific advance approval for such things. Unnecessarily limiting, IMO.

[Anonymous]

Kids can also be in group text messages whether for school, sports, other activities and if someone in the group isn't one of their contacts only the number will come up until your kid adds them as a contact. I'm with the PP's who think most tweens/teens would be mortified if they had to ask permission before they gave out their cell number to one of their friends or classmates. Mine would have been for sure.

[Anonymous]

Voice of dissent here.
Cell phone number is not to be given out. They can call on the home phone.

No more embarrassing than telling my friends I couldn't accept phone calls after 8 pm, or my mom picking up the downstairs line and saying "I need to call your father, please hang up soon" and my friend saying the obligatory "hello Mrs. Jones."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:"Hey, who texted you today? I don't recognize that number. By the way, I know we didn't discuss this before, but I don't want you giving out your number to people without telling me first."

That would be so embarrassing. I can't imagining not wanting my high schooler not to be able to text their friends without my explicit permission. And to have to explain to her friends when they ask for her number, "I'm sorry. My mom says I need to ask permission to give you my number." She'd be mortified. I'm sure that woul be the last time anyone asks for her number too. We're not talking about kindergarteners giving tier phone number to strangers at the park. It's a "young teen" so probably a high schooler and his or her peers. It's totally normal for them to text and receive texts with people at school, sports, clubs, etc, some of whom you may not know.

She said early teen. I assumed middle school.

Aren't freshmen 13-14 unless redshirted?

Even so, in eighth grade, that's still ridiculously embarrassing.

"Wanna go see a movie on Friday? Can I have your number so I can text you details?"

"I don't know. I have to ask my mom. I'll let you know if I'm allowed to text you in a few days if she gives her permission. She has to approve all the contacts in my phone before I give out my number to friends."

"Umm... Never mind."

So what? Most of what parents do is embarrassing to their teens. It's our job.

Different PP here. Sure, if necessary, but that just seems pointlessly embarrassing. What is the benefit to causing this situation, really? Seems to me giving a friend your phone number is a perfectly normal and acceptable part of social interaction, so I'm not sure why I would need to give specific advance approval for such things. Unnecessarily limiting, IMO.

Middle schoolers, as a group, aren't the most mature of folk. You don't know if they are giving out their number to a 25 year old they met on Instagram, or even bullying others, or being bullied. I think it's a good idea to limit their universe to known circles, to give them a firm foundation in judgment by the time they get to high school. You could tell them anyone in their grade at their school is fine. Or anyone at their basketball team, etc. But I don't think it's a good idea to give a middle schooler carte blanche on anything.

[Anonymous]

My 14 year old gets group messages regarding band and his sports teams. They are set up to be sent to the member's cell phone. Some don't even have a house phone.

[Anonymous]

1:14 here again. He doesn't add anyone he doesn't have a reason to add. With him, I'm not worried he will chat with some random stranger. His older brother would have required a different set of expectations IF he had a cell phone at that age. He didn't.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Voice of dissent here.
Cell phone number is not to be given out. They can call on the home phone.

No more embarrassing than telling my friends I couldn't accept phone calls after 8 pm, or my mom picking up the downstairs line and saying "I need to call your father, please hang up soon" and my friend saying the obligatory "hello Mrs. Jones."

We don't have a house phone.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Voice of dissent here.
Cell phone number is not to be given out. They can call on the home phone.

No more embarrassing than telling my friends I couldn't accept phone calls after 8 pm, or my mom picking up the downstairs line and saying "I need to call your father, please hang up soon" and my friend saying the obligatory "hello Mrs. Jones."

I don't know a kid who calls another kid's cell phone. They all text. I get not giving in to every whim because other kids are doing it, but are you really okay with limiting your child's social life so severely? Texting is the medium of choice, and kids who can't text are out of the loop in short order.

The idea of parents not allowing kids to keep up with their peers socially by texting remind me of parents who don't allow girls to shave or wear make up until some arbitrary age in spite of the fact that most of their peers are already doing so, and it causes the kids discomfort which the parents are insensitive to. Being a teenager is hard enough socially, why make it harder for them?

[Anonymous]

One of my favorite movie quotes is from Footloose (yes, I'm dating myself) when the minister is conflicted over the dance that his daughter's high school class is going to have. He's up on the pulpit talking about his struggle with holding on to his daughter and letting her go. And he says to his congregation, " If we don't start trusting our children... how will they ever become trustworthy?"

[Anonymous]

OP here.
Thank you all for responding.
we just got DD this brand new phone and hence there is a possibility that there will be a lot of unknown numbers till she adds her friends to her contacts list.

However, coming back to the original problem.
DD also did not recognize the number.
so we asked that person who it was.
That person was trying to reach a person who had this phone number earlier.
So we informed her/him that she/he has a wrong number.
We blocked that phone number.
problem resolved.