Venting just a little

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I feel your pain--maybe we're even at the same EOTP school. After a few years of this I'm still okay with chatting about the school by phone, but no more in person meetings for me. Like you say, such a waste of time in too many cases.

I weep about the cohort my child started with departing in a diaspora to charters. They would have made a great class at our otherwise close-to-failing DCPS, and several of our peers now realize the mistake.

The charters are literally making it impossible for high performing kids to thrive in some DCPS.

Overdramatic much? I wouldn't want my kids at the same school as your weepy ass.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Seems like it happens every year. I'm contacted by some acquaintance with a 3 year old who just got into my kids' neighborhood public school (one seen by many on this list as 2nd tier). They are "excited," they want to "learn all about it," and they want to know what our experience has been. So, I dutifully answer their questions and they enroll, only to bail for a charter school at the first opportunity. There seems to be an inverse relationship between their initial enthusiasm and the time their child actually spends at the school.

They are doing what they think is best for their child and themselves. There is more to life than yourself and what you think is right or wrong.....well, at least you know you're venting....

Sounds like a person who jumped ship.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Eh. give it time. Chances are they excitement over the charter school will wane as well. My experience has been that some parents get over-enthusiastic about a school as a way to hide their concern that the school is actually not good enough, but in the end no school winds up to be good enough for their precious geniuses. I know parents who have already switched their kids 3 times by second grade.

--Signed, a parent at the "worst" Ward 3 school

See you tomorrow for lineup on the soccer field!!

[Anonymous]

This happened this year at the school I work at. We had a booster who was so excited to send her kid to the school- drumming up other parents, hosting principal meet and greets. From the moment I met her I knew she would bail- before the first day. Her efforts were all centered around drawing in more white kids.

I was not upset when she bailed- in fact I was happy. Her enthusiasm was blind and she would have been a Pain in The Ass to have around.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This happened this year at the school I work at. We had a booster who was so excited to send her kid to the school- drumming up other parents, hosting principal meet and greets. From the moment I met her I knew she would bail- before the first day. Her efforts were all centered around drawing in more white kids.

I was not upset when she bailed- in fact I was happy. Her enthusiasm was blind and she would have been a Pain in The Ass to have around.

Wow--guess her intentions were pretty transparent. Did she say why she bailed, after all the cheerleading?

[Anonymous]

OP this was me exactly 15 years ago (charters were just getting started and then it went haywire once the charters really got going). I can now say with the benefit of years of watching this all play out, that as one PP noted, no school will ever be good enough for this type of parent-but wow, there's ALOT of them out there! My kids have stayed in the same school and feeders and we've seen kids leave and come back 4,5,6 (!) times. Every new charter is "OMG we have to get kid X in!" Then, "OMG we got in!" To, somewhat sheepishly, "we're looking for another school." I too wanted that time back that I wasted on these knuckleheads. But big picture, MY kids are doing great getting into great colleges have some amazing friends who have also stuck it out and those other kids never get a chance to settle in and their parents have ruined friendships that they could have had through adulthood. My guess is these are the kids who will move back in with their parents in adulthood! It also made me NOT talk with anyone anymore about my school. And no matter how much my kids school gets denigrated on boards like these, I just ignore, because it's not worth trying to defend it all the time. It's exhausting. Good luck. I feel your pain.

[Anonymous]

I was like you guys, in our old city.

Then I moved to DC and our fairly well-regarded LPS was a disaster for our child.

I have a lot of guilt about bailing, but it really didn't work for us. Wish it had. Love the school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP this was me exactly 15 years ago (charters were just getting started and then it went haywire once the charters really got going). I can now say with the benefit of years of watching this all play out, that as one PP noted, no school will ever be good enough for this type of parent-but wow, there's ALOT of them out there! My kids have stayed in the same school and feeders and we've seen kids leave and come back 4,5,6 (!) times. Every new charter is "OMG we have to get kid X in!" Then, "OMG we got in!" To, somewhat sheepishly, "we're looking for another school." I too wanted that time back that I wasted on these knuckleheads. But big picture, MY kids are doing great getting into great colleges have some amazing friends who have also stuck it out and those other kids never get a chance to settle in and their parents have ruined friendships that they could have had through adulthood. My guess is these are the kids who will move back in with their parents in adulthood! It also made me NOT talk with anyone anymore about my school. And no matter how much my kids school gets denigrated on boards like these, I just ignore, because it's not worth trying to defend it all the time. It's exhausting. Good luck. I feel your pain.

Where do you live? WOTP?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Eh. give it time. Chances are they excitement over the charter school will wane as well. My experience has been that some parents get over-enthusiastic about a school as a way to hide their concern that the school is actually not good enough, but in the end no school winds up to be good enough for their precious geniuses. I know parents who have already switched their kids 3 times by second grade.

--Signed, a parent at the "worst" Ward 3 school

well you live in a ward 3 bubble. Some of us have to make do with our IB east of the park and its nothing about "precious genius"--but more that by third grade, less 20% of the kids are even at grade level and the kids who are at grade level are sitting around doing mindless worksheets or tutoring other kids. Im sorry, but any complaint or snark from a Ward 3 parent is beyond obnoxious.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Seems like it happens every year. I'm contacted by some acquaintance with a 3 year old who just got into my kids' neighborhood public school (one seen by many on this list as 2nd tier). They are "excited," they want to "learn all about it," and they want to know what our experience has been. So, I dutifully answer their questions and they enroll, only to bail for a charter school at the first opportunity. There seems to be an inverse relationship between their initial enthusiasm and the time their child actually spends at the school.

They are doing what they think is best for their child and themselves. There is more to life than yourself and what you think is right or wrong.....well, at least you know you're venting....

Sounds like a person who jumped ship.

and you like one who's sinking with it......

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Eh. give it time. Chances are they excitement over the charter school will wane as well. My experience has been that some parents get over-enthusiastic about a school as a way to hide their concern that the school is actually not good enough, but in the end no school winds up to be good enough for their precious geniuses. I know parents who have already switched their kids 3 times by second grade.

--Signed, a parent at the "worst" Ward 3 school

well you live in a ward 3 bubble. Some of us have to make do with our IB east of the park and its nothing about "precious genius"--but more that by third grade, less 20% of the kids are even at grade level and the kids who are at grade level are sitting around doing mindless worksheets or tutoring other kids. Im sorry, but any complaint or snark from a Ward 3 parent is beyond obnoxious.

Agree with this.

The "worst" Ward 3 school? Ha! At my IB school only 20% of the kids are reading at 4th grade. It's 99% FARMS. Last year they shut down the school one day because there was a fight between the parents at drop off and one parent threatened to stab another.

I think your WOTP understanding of DCPS is basically the same as someone who lives in Maryland.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Eh. give it time. Chances are they excitement over the charter school will wane as well. My experience has been that some parents get over-enthusiastic about a school as a way to hide their concern that the school is actually not good enough, but in the end no school winds up to be good enough for their precious geniuses. I know parents who have already switched their kids 3 times by second grade.

--Signed, a parent at the "worst" Ward 3 school

well you live in a ward 3 bubble. Some of us have to make do with our IB east of the park and its nothing about "precious genius"--but more that by third grade, less 20% of the kids are even at grade level and the kids who are at grade level are sitting around doing mindless worksheets or tutoring other kids. Im sorry, but any complaint or snark from a Ward 3 parent is beyond obnoxious.

Perhaps you should re-read. There is not one complaint in my message. I am just sharing with the OP my experience at my school with people who have changed schools multiple times. It happens even in the evil Ward 3, and until more decide to stay put the OP is going to have the same challenges every year.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I guess I'm never sure what the right response is to these inquiries. I feel like I have to expend energy every year reassuring these parents that their little geniuses will not die at my LRPS. After they bail, I feel like I WANT THAT TIME BACK and it colors my future dealings with them. This makes me hesitant to spend time with future ditherers, instead palming them off with some version of "I feel it was the best choice for my children but every child is different and I will support any decision you make," which is (to me) a polite "F-off and stop wasting my time when you're going to bail" message.

That being said, I do feel like sometimes (rarely) the dithering parents do turn out to wholeheartedly support the school and stay for the long haul. I just wish there was a survey or something that I could use to gauge in advance whether I should waste my time with this or that ditherer.

Stop putting yourself in the position if it makes you that unhappy. If somebody asks if they can refer somebody to you to discuss your school, just say no.

But if you refuse to have that conversation then be aware that some parents who are on the fence might take that as a negative sign and choose to send their kid elsewhere. Which makes it harder for the school to continue to improve and for IB percentages to move up. But that's a decision you'll have to make.

FWIW, the thing about charters that tends to the annoying is that the parents are frequently boosters who talk about how great the schools are...and that includes telling you even if you didn't ask. They are also quick to defend their schools...often times in unnecessarily defensive ways. For sure there's a chicken/egg thing at play and some externalities unrelated to the boosterism, but it is worth asking if there might be a correlation between the success of a school and the willingness of the families in attendance to commit to the the school and proselytize the gospel of the school.

[Anonymous]

Op, maybe to save your time and sanity you could just write down some of your thoughts on the pros and cons of the school and then email them to the prospective parents who query you. I get that it's tiresome and frustrating, but on the shopping side of "school choice," it really is hard to get info without talking to families.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Eh. give it time. Chances are they excitement over the charter school will wane as well. My experience has been that some parents get over-enthusiastic about a school as a way to hide their concern that the school is actually not good enough, but in the end no school winds up to be good enough for their precious geniuses. I know parents who have already switched their kids 3 times by second grade.

--Signed, a parent at the "worst" Ward 3 school

well you live in a ward 3 bubble. Some of us have to make do with our IB east of the park and its nothing about "precious genius"--but more that by third grade, less 20% of the kids are even at grade level and the kids who are at grade level are sitting around doing mindless worksheets or tutoring other kids. Im sorry, but any complaint or snark from a Ward 3 parent is beyond obnoxious.

Agree with this.

The "worst" Ward 3 school? Ha! At my IB school only 20% of the kids are reading at 4th grade. It's 99% FARMS. Last year they shut down the school one day because there was a fight between the parents at drop off and one parent threatened to stab another.

I think your WOTP understanding of DCPS is basically the same as someone who lives in Maryland.

And there are plenty of shades in between. My kids' EOTP school has about 60% proficient/advanced (where do you get numbers on reading at grade level?) and people hop to/from charters (whose scores are not all that different) because they have this fear of missing out.

I get the OP's perspective, but I still take time to talk to people. Maybe I'm just not burned out yet.