Strong feelings of grief, all of a sudden, five years later. (trigger warning: parent death)

[Anonymous]

I'm sorry for your loss but I have seen several times when family members with cancer or longer term chronic illnesses seem to almost choose when they died - either with family or alone based on the circumstance and how ready those people were to accept their passing. Maybe your mom knew it would be hard on your dad and chose to depart when he was out of the room.

I lost a sister suddenly in a car accident over a decade ago and it will never be okay but over time, I have come to accept it and let go - maybe some grief counseling would be useful at this point if you are stuck.

[Anonymous]

OP: I want to thank everyone for the incredibly kind words, reassurances and advice.

I did wonder if it there was something that was triggering these feelings. DH and I spoke at length about it last night and while I am not sure this was it, but DD2 turned 3 this year and she is the only child of our 4 that my mother never met. Relatives always remark how she favors my mother. Big blonde curls, blue green eyes. I recognize her smile too.

Just connecting here helped immensely. I spoke with my priest today and I feel like a weight was really lifted. He also recommended a grief counselor for me to see if these feelings continue.

Again, thank you all so much.

[Anonymous]

I am so so sorry and wish I could give you an enormous hug. I used to work in hospice, and as PPs have said, it is really common for someone to pass on when her loved ones are out of the room to spare them pain.

It sounds like you are a wonderful and caring person, and I wish you all the best.