Are you active in your kids college

[Anonymous]

The parent activities at Orientation may be mostly to keep the parents busy so the students can be apart and can get done what they need to get done - mostly working on their schedule - w/out toooo much parent interference.

And you are still being courted. Your kid isn't actually attending yet. As a parent, the school wants you happy. Soon you won't get as much attention, I'm guessing.

[Anonymous]

We have 1 recent college grad, a current student and one who's about to go to college. In our experience, the message at most of the parent events during orientation is "step away from the young adult."

Other than that, families weekend is fun and a chance to see your how your kid has settled in, take him/her and any friends whose parents aren't able to attend out to dinner, maybe go to a concert or athletic event and shop -- not a big deal and not so different from how I remember what was then called parents weekend. And the parent advisory councils, etc., existed even in the '80s -- because they're fundraising vehicles.

Bottom line: participate as much or as little as you and your child would like, but, this is not something to get worked up about or to frame as a helicoptering parents v. hands-off parents thing.

[Anonymous]

OP here. Ok, thanks for the comments! We are thrilled with DC's school choice, and I was just wondering what to expect. We appreciate how welcome we have been made to feel so far.

[Anonymous]

7:37 here -- Just wanted to add that if you have a chance to accompany your kid to a class on families weekend, definitely do that. We've done this a couple of times and it was a fun way to see what our kid's classroom experience was like. And you definitely will not be the only parents in the room. (BTW, I also remember my dad coming to class with me at parents weekend many, many years ago, so, again, this isn't something new.)

[Anonymous]

For some parents, the their child's college confers all sorts of bragging rights and is a huge source of pride. YEAHHH!! MY KIDS A BUCKEYE! This might be a little more common at schools where parents didn't attend college. For the schools, it satisfies a need that their tuition payers demand, more than a fundraising source. And, it gives the parents something to do rather than interfere with the students.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm not sure but I have a friend who is an academic advisor, and friends who are professors, and they say the helicopter parenting is pretty outrageous the past few years. Maybe some colleges are creating ways for parents to be involved now, in response. Seems ridiculous to me.

Yeah, it's in reaction to this. Trying to give parents a productive outlet instead of pestering the schools to death.

[Anonymous]

went to college in late 80s/early 90s. The University sent very regular mailings to my parents (who ignored it as junk mail) -- constantly offering things ranging from "send your kid a specialized birthday balloon bouquet on their birthday' to orientations/homecomings/etc chocked full of events. it's just sophisticated marketing and fundraising. If they can get even 5% of parents more engaged & feeling like 'part of the school', they end up giving more. It's like gateway drugs to march them up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It sounds like you don't like the school and you are fishing for validation of your feelings.

Sounds like you're a helicopter parent who can't cut the cord and let your kids navigate college on their own.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Because of the ever-increasing degree of helicoptering, many schools have put into place all sorts of "orientation" activities for parents, mostly to get them away from and out of the hair of their kids at drop off, and in response to demand (with of course some input from the development office!). But truly they are to distract you, and if you don't feel the need or have the time, simply dropping your kid off after a visit to Bed, Bath and Beyond to fill in whatever is needed and helping DC lug their stuff up the stairs and possibly move furniture, GET OUT OF THERE! Some of the orientation activities may be of use and important to hear, i.e. health care/mental health policies, how they skirt privacy versus wellbeing of students away from home

Oh please - involved parents have always existed. What kind of parent doesn't help their kid get settled in.

Helping their kid get setled in is exactly what the PP described - help carry stuff into dorm rooms, a quick stop at BB&B, maybe attend a parents' orientation, and you're done. Anything more is heading towards the helicopter pad.

[Anonymous]

I've been to 2 parent orientation programs and will soon go to my 3rd (no helicoperting -- we have 3 kids). Here are some helpful things I learned:

1) if your kid gets sick or injured, campus security will drive them to health services if needed (this from a panel of students titled something like "What I Wish my Parents Had Known When I Was a Freshman");

2) for engineering students, participating in those crazy-sounding team competitions (e.g., build a concrete canoe!) help a lot when it comes to looking for a summer job (from a panel for parents of engineering students);

3) the chaplain for our religious denomination will buy lunch for any student who shows up at a local favorite hangout on Fridays (from the chaplaincy panel -- attendance at which also allowed me the opportunity to see one of the most beautiful buildings on campus).

And after learning these helpful things, I went to the new parents reception, where the white wine flowed quite liberally and there were many development officers present. Meanwhile, DH went to Bed, Bath and Beyond to get a few things the kids needed. I think I definitely got the better end of the deal!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We have a DS (our first to go to college) at W&M and were (and still are with a long line of kids behind) active at the high school. We chose to join the Parent Family Council at W&M and I can share our experience. Being "active" at a child's college is not like high school. You are not asked to design or implement programming. We have found it to be very informative and useful. As for visits to campus there is programming on Parents Weekend and the spring weekend when admitted students are invited to tour the campus. There are some faculty invited to join the lunch at both. What we took away was a better understanding of the student opportunities at W&M, and experiences of other parents' students.

I don't think it has been an infringement on "his thing" at all. We have met interesting parents from around the country and heard their viewpoint on the joint program with ST. Andrews which we had no knowledge of. We had opportunities to hear about lots of campus topics from safety to study abroad. I think it was very informative and actually a lot of fun. Williamsburg is a beautiful town to visit and having our own agenda made it interesting.

Yes, they will ask for a donation. In our case we qualified for in-state tuition which is much less than the other schools he was considering, each of whom charged over $60,000. We felt it appropriate to give something to make up some of this, and would have done so without the group. You can allocate to anything you wish if you so desire. The group also has a number of out of state parents who say that even their tuition is below the comparables and are happy to give. No one seems bothered by this part because the school provides such a good education.

I would say if you are at all active in a high school environment you would enjoy this interaction. We have found it very pleasant and interesting.

This is pathetic. Sorry. Get a life man. Once your kids are out of elementary school, your work is done. After that, you're just embarrassing your children.

[Anonymous]

My child recently graduated from W&M and, being an out of stater, I had zero involvement in the parent groups. Prepae yourself for the phone calls soliciting $$ for the parent fund. Now that he has graduated, I am hoping the college calls him for a donation!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:For some parents, the their child's college confers all sorts of bragging rights and is a huge source of pride. YEAHHH!! MY KIDS A BUCKEYE! This might be a little more common at schools where parents didn't attend college. For the schools, it satisfies a need that their tuition payers demand, more than a fundraising source. And, it gives the parents something to do rather than interfere with the students.

Yeah, my kid's a "BUCKEYE?" Pretty sure 99.8% percent of posters here would be concealing that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My child recently graduated from W&M and, being an out of stater, I had zero involvement in the parent groups. Prepae yourself for the phone calls soliciting $$ for the parent fund. Now that he has graduated, I am hoping the college calls him for a donation!

Well, yes, I think the school just had a record breaking fundraising year, so there have been many outreach efforts.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For some parents, the their child's college confers all sorts of bragging rights and is a huge source of pride. YEAHHH!! MY KIDS A BUCKEYE! This might be a little more common at schools where parents didn't attend college. For the schools, it satisfies a need that their tuition payers demand, more than a fundraising source. And, it gives the parents something to do rather than interfere with the students.

Yeah, my kid's a "BUCKEYE?" Pretty sure 99.8% percent of posters here would be concealing that.

Oh do shut up. Much better to be a Buckeye than a POS.