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Tweens and Teens
DD failed 10th grade...I give up
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Anonymous
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I will echo the recommendations to test for Depression and ADHD--which are often found together. Your DD sounds a bit like mine, who failed the first half of 8th grade, but was able to recover with the help of tutoring, individual and family therapy, along with medication for Depression and ADHD. Don't give up on your girl. When kids like ours are most unlovable, they most need our love and support.
I would also suggest that you take good care of yourself. Kids like ours are frustrating and challenging, day in and day out. You need to take breaks and get regular respite and exercise. And yes, you do need to consult with your daughter's school. What is the plan on the school's part? Do teachers see evidence of learning disabilities? Would a change in level or program help? |
Anonymous
| McLean school in Potomac which can help her get back on track. e-mail admissions today, make an appointment for Monday, they can help you coordinate testing and perhaps a summer school plan. This will be expensive, but it's time to pull out all the stops and hit the reset button. |
Anonymous
| I'm not sure if this will help you at all, but my old boss hated school and got her GED when she was 15 or 16 and went straight to college. It seems that she was more motivated, but I don't know if it's a possible option for her. |
Anonymous
| OP, don't punish her like that. Too extreme. You can restrict but not completely cut off her socializing. Spend the summer figuring out her problems and what she needs. Learning coach, tutors in subjects, etc. Is she in summer school or does she have to repeat the year? |
Anonymous
Worst idea ever. The only students who are successful in online learning are those who are naturally, internally motivated. That is clearly not the case here. If you can afford specialty private school as someone suggested, that's a good option--sounds like a change of peers alongside of a new academic strategy would help most. Otherwise, jump-start an IEP process by taking her in for ADHD testing this summer--ask your pediatrician for some names. Don't wait until September to get moving on this. |
Anonymous
| Is she in the basic classes? You haven't put her in honors or AP, have you? |
Anonymous
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In many states you cannot take the GED until you are 18--they prefer for you to try to first finish high school. DC is one of those states, and I think MD and VA are as well. I have heard about people going to CA (as I recall, may have been AZ) to take an early GED.
OP if I am recalling your earlier post some time ago correctly, there are a lot of social things going on with your DD. You may need to take her away from all of this. I would not go a military route unless you have reason to believe this would interest her. There are some boarding schools that will take basically nice girls (kids) who have messed up in school and turn them around academically. I would favor a girl's school because of the social aspects, but you know more about the roots of that and perhaps all girls would worsen things. Here are two in Virginia: http://www.sms.org/ http://www.oak-hill.net/page.cfm?p=2 This of course is a large expense, but Oak Hill, for example, is probably less than McLean and the expenses cover boarding. Home schooling would be another option. None of this is to rule testing etc, which I agree would be very helpful in giving you further insights into what is actually going on. It is frustrating because your DD probably has a pretty good idea but it is in the nature of teens to shut down about these things, especially with parents. |
Anonymous
| I really suspect ADHD and depression. We went through an awful year with our DD and this year learned she has ADHD and anxiety. Things have started to turn around with help of academic accommodations, tutoring and medication. She's gone from C/Ds to A//Bs in one year. Maybe the thing making the biggest difference to our DD is understanding why she struggles in school -- now she no longer thinks she's just stupid or lazy, and this has really helped her self esteem so much. Not that things are perfect. She still spends too much time distracted on social media, and she'll probably never be a great test taker. Still, knowing what's wrong has helped us all cope better. |
Anonymous
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If you are in FCPS, look into a transfer to one of the alternative high schools. They do block scheduling (they take four courses for 1.5 hours each day and complete the full year in a semester) so she could do both 10th and 11th grade core courses in one year and still graduate on time. Class sizes are very small and all work is completed in class, so there is no homework. If she's up for it, she might be able to take an additional class outside of school using the online campus. Courses are typically taught at the Gen Ed. level, but they can accommodate kids at the honors level.
I've had similar problems with my DC - turns out DC was silently suffering with anxiety for a long time and it really affected self esteem, behavior, and school performance. |
Anonymous
| OP, I wouldn't punish her the way you say you are. Maybe monitor her study time more next year. Her punishment will be that she isn't in class with "her peers". That may be motivating enough to make her work harder. Repeating 10th grade english, may turn out to be, the only indication that she hasn't passed the 10th grade. Otherwise, most subjects have at least a slight grade-level mix. It isn't that hard to finish high school with the standard diploma. She can end with Algebra 2, no foreign language, and minimal history/english. She can take electives pass/fail. Make sure you are very aware of what the minimum is to graduate and concentrate all your efforts on getting that done. Once that's done, any advanced academics she'll have to earn thru hard work |
Anonymous
| She is socializing instead of focusing on academics because she feels successful at that. Taking away her ability to socialize takes away her ability to do the one thing she knows she can do right. It's probably the only thing that makes her feel good. You are handling this all wrong. |
Anonymous
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Sandy Springs Friends school has a five day boarding option, but it is hard to beat the $28,000 or so tuition at Oak Hill. With five day boarding, your DD would have a lot of required study hall, but could have free weekends.
http://www.ssfs.org/about/index.aspx |
Anonymous
| ^^$28,000 or so tuition PLUS boarding |
Anonymous
| Have you looked at The New School in Fairfax? It's a great place for kids who aren't thriving in a traditional high school. |
Anonymous
| School for Tomorrow |