8yo kid next door posting in Instagram

[Anonymous]

My 9 and 11 year old are not allowed to have Instagram accounts and I don't want them on Instagram at somebody else's house. My kids would not be allowed at their house.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op here - Thanks for the feedback. I guess I'm the Luddite crank my children accuse me of being.

No you are not. The terms of service do not allow 8-year-olds (I believe the age is 14). More fearful than unfettered posting is the message the physicians are sending to their kids: rules don't apply to you. We pick and choose which rules to follow. This is a big part of the entitled attitude that is destroying our culture.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op here - Thanks for the feedback. I guess I'm the Luddite crank my children accuse me of being.

No you are not. The terms of service do not allow 8-year-olds (I believe the age is 14). More fearful than unfettered posting is the message the physicians are sending to their kids: rules don't apply to you. We pick and choose which rules to follow. This is a big part of the entitled attitude that is destroying our culture.

Sounds like the genius doc is too busy to parent his own child. Reminds me of many famous Hollywood stars who ended up with messed up kids.

[Anonymous]

OP leave the other parents alone. Their house, their rules. You can't impose your rules in their house. Reminds me of a friend of mine who used to immediately turn off the TV my son was watching as soon as she arrived with her daughter because she did not allow TV. I'd just immediately turn it back on.

Feel free to keep your kids away form the neighbors' house but leave their parenting well alone. There will be many similar situations as your kids grow older so you have to instill your values into your children and hope that they carry those with them as they grow up and have to make tough decisions in their teens when they are with friends. For now, as they are very young, keep them away, explaining why. You are starting to teach them about the dangers of social media. Leave the neighbors to parent their own way.

[Anonymous]

Op, the only possible thing you can say to the other parents is to let them know that your kids are not allowed to use instagram. But that doesn't mean that they are obligated to watch the kids like hawks when they are over to make sure they don't use it - you need to go over the rules with your own kids and make sure they follow them.

[Anonymous]

My daughter has a friend who posts and when she told me about it, I asked her not to participate and explained why (dd just turned 9). I would not dream of talking to this friend's parent. Their home and their rules. If I felt my child was not mature enough to follow our rules, I would focus on play dates at our house only. If other parent asked I would be truthful but only if asked.

[Anonymous]

My kid is 11 and No Instagram. I tell her and her friends directly they are not to put pictures of my child on Instagram without explicitly asking my permission. This is good practice for kids. They should be asking each other on their own as Tweens/teens and this is the rule they are being taught at school as well. I don't follow my kids friends because following 8,9,10 yr olds is creepy to me as an adult.

I have also spoken directly to the kids parents as have many other parents in our circle, it's just a couple of the kids who have Instagram and said the same as above.

Most parents are truly idiots when it comes to understanding social media sites and the Internet in general. I have actually had parents who really believe snap chat gets rid of photos after 10 seconds and do not understand that screen captures happen - not only manually but can be automated.

[Anonymous]

Ugh! Search #kik on Instagram. That's nothing I'd want my 8 y/o seeing.

[Anonymous]

OP leave the other parents alone. Their house, their rules. You can't impose your rules in their house. Reminds me of a friend of mine who used to immediately turn off the TV my son was watching as soon as she arrived with her daughter because she did not allow TV. I'd just immediately turn it back on.

Feel free to keep your kids away form the neighbors' house but leave their parenting well alone. There will be many similar situations as your kids grow older so you have to instill your values into your children and hope that they carry those with them as they grow up and have to make tough decisions in their teens when they are with friends. For now, as they are very young, keep them away, explaining why. You are starting to teach them about the dangers of social media. Leave the neighbors to parent their own way.

This. And OP, have some respect for your neighbors' privacy. From your description, someone here could easily figure out who this family is. I'm sure you wouldn't want your neighbor using easily identifying information in a post about you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP leave the other parents alone. Their house, their rules. You can't impose your rules in their house. Reminds me of a friend of mine who used to immediately turn off the TV my son was watching as soon as she arrived with her daughter because she did not allow TV. I'd just immediately turn it back on.

Feel free to keep your kids away form the neighbors' house but leave their parenting well alone. There will be many similar situations as your kids grow older so you have to instill your values into your children and hope that they carry those with them as they grow up and have to make tough decisions in their teens when they are with friends. For now, as they are very young, keep them away, explaining why. You are starting to teach them about the dangers of social media. Leave the neighbors to parent their own way.

This pretty much nails it. OP- talk to your kids about how they apparently have different rules for their house than you have for yours. Set an expectation for your kids' behavior but keep the communication open so that if/when your kids are viewing content you find objectionable, they'll be willing to talk with you about it.

In my experience, everyone has different rules and expectations. I disagree with many of my friends' parenting choices. That doesn't mean I'm right and they're wrong, there are many ways to skin a cat. Unless you lock your kids in your house, they're going to be friends with kids who have greater access to social media, a later curfew, or any number of differences.

Its just starting, OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Just call them and say you heard they were posting stuff to instagram. You wanted to check with them because you don't want "your" child doing that. I guess that means not letting them take pics of your kid and posting? Otherwise, it doesn't really impact your kid. But you could approach it that way.

Exactly what I would do.

[Anonymous]

Maybe it is just me and the people I know, but when I have over other peoples' kids I ask other parents if there are any rules or anything that I need to be mindful of I also let them know if there is stuff my kid is not supposed to do. And I most DEFINITELY do not post pics of other peoples' kids without their express permission.

[Anonymous]

Op here - I really appreciate the feedback. It's making me realize the only thing I can do is help my kids develop their own good sense about using the Internet. And if they can't be appropriate on the Internet at their friends houses (based on what they were telling me, my kids were violating multiple Instagram terms of use when posting on their friend's account), not let them go over there. Fyi - most "identifying" details were slightly modified.