Transfer embryo or do another IVF cycle: WWYD?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am exactly in your situation at 41, lots of numbers but only 1 normal each time. We opted to do the three IVF cycles our insurance covers, and did two rounds of PGS to determine our few normal embryos.
I am preparing for a FET of one embryo. If this does not work, we will proceed to a gestational carrier since I have uterine issues as well. We wanted to do the fresh cycles ASAP before my eggs age beyond help.
FWIW, after the first cyle I started taking ubiqionol in addition to folate, prenatals and DHA. I also got my vitamin D levels up.

Good luck with your FET!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am exactly in your situation at 41, lots of numbers but only 1 normal each time. We opted to do the three IVF cycles our insurance covers, and did two rounds of PGS to determine our few normal embryos.
I am preparing for a FET of one embryo. If this does not work, we will proceed to a gestational carrier since I have uterine issues as well. We wanted to do the fresh cycles ASAP before my eggs age beyond help.
FWIW, after the first cyle I started taking ubiqionol in addition to folate, prenatals and DHA. I also got my vitamin D levels up.

OP here - wishing you the best luck!

How much vitamin D should I take?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am exactly in your situation at 41, lots of numbers but only 1 normal each time. We opted to do the three IVF cycles our insurance covers, and did two rounds of PGS to determine our few normal embryos.
I am preparing for a FET of one embryo. If this does not work, we will proceed to a gestational carrier since I have uterine issues as well. We wanted to do the fresh cycles ASAP before my eggs age beyond help.
FWIW, after the first cyle I started taking ubiqionol in addition to folate, prenatals and DHA. I also got my vitamin D levels up.

OP here - wishing you the best luck!

How much vitamin D should I take?

Thanks, OP. Wish you good luck too!
I got my vitamin D tested by my physician, and it was very low. She had me take a high-dose pill once a week for 8 weeks, then told me to stay on at least 1000 units per day. Many prenatals will have this. I read that vitamin D3 is better absorbed than the more common vitamin D2, so I make sure to take that. I would start with the doctor, it's just a simple blood test.

[Anonymous]

If this is really a matter of money, not an ideological opposition to donor eggs, you would be better off transferring the one embryo you have and then saving your money for donor egg. If it works, you will have money for a sibling using donor eggs. If not, you can do the shared risk donor egg program where you are guaranteed a child or your money back and there is a high probability that you will have an embryo in the freezer for a sibling. Having your sister donate her eggs will not really save you that much money because the big costs of donor egg IVF is not donor compensation, its the fact that insurance companies will not cover anything related to a cycle when you use donor egg or sperm, so everything will be out of pocket. And, using your sister, you won't qualify for the shared risk program which offers a significant savings.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If this is really a matter of money, not an ideological opposition to donor eggs, you would be better off transferring the one embryo you have and then saving your money for donor egg. If it works, you will have money for a sibling using donor eggs. If not, you can do the shared risk donor egg program where you are guaranteed a child or your money back and there is a high probability that you will have an embryo in the freezer for a sibling. Having your sister donate her eggs will not really save you that much money because the big costs of donor egg IVF is not donor compensation, its the fact that insurance companies will not cover anything related to a cycle when you use donor egg or sperm, so everything will be out of pocket. And, using your sister, you won't qualify for the shared risk program which offers a significant savings.

OP here - I have no insurance coverage for this anyway, and my clinic does not offer shared risk, so we're kind of screwed financially any way you slice it. (I don't want to switch clinics, I'm very happy with my doctor.) If my sister was willing, it would be the next best thing to my own egg. Our heritage means a lot to us (our grandparents were Holocaust survivors) and I know that Jewish donors are nearly impossible to come by. Of course, nothing matters more than a healthy child, but if the option to "keep it in the family" is there, and it would not compromise my relationship with my sister, I would choose it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If this is really a matter of money, not an ideological opposition to donor eggs, you would be better off transferring the one embryo you have and then saving your money for donor egg. If it works, you will have money for a sibling using donor eggs. If not, you can do the shared risk donor egg program where you are guaranteed a child or your money back and there is a high probability that you will have an embryo in the freezer for a sibling. Having your sister donate her eggs will not really save you that much money because the big costs of donor egg IVF is not donor compensation, its the fact that insurance companies will not cover anything related to a cycle when you use donor egg or sperm, so everything will be out of pocket. And, using your sister, you won't qualify for the shared risk program which offers a significant savings.

OP here - I have no insurance coverage for this anyway, and my clinic does not offer shared risk, so we're kind of screwed financially any way you slice it. (I don't want to switch clinics, I'm very happy with my doctor.) If my sister was willing, it would be the next best thing to my own egg. Our heritage means a lot to us (our grandparents were Holocaust survivors) and I know that Jewish donors are nearly impossible to come by. Of course, nothing matters more than a healthy child, but if the option to "keep it in the family" is there, and it would not compromise my relationship with my sister, I would choose it.

It sounds like you should do another round with your own egg now because that is what you are most comfortable with. But, from the standpoint of having the highest chance of becoming a parent, you should switch clinics and go to one that has a donor egg shared risk program. No one can decide but you how important it is to be a parent vs how important it is to have a child who is related to you genetically. You are the only one who can weigh the risks and rewards of both paths. All we can do is point out the statistics and the realities to you. With your age and the fact that you produced one genetically normal egg (which does not mean a viable egg because egg quality is about much more than the genetics) you have a very low chance of having a child and and even lower chance of having more than one. That is just the reality. I know its hard to hear and many of us on this board have faced this reality. It is a personal choice and you have to do what is right for you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am exactly in your situation at 41, lots of numbers but only 1 normal each time. We opted to do the three IVF cycles our insurance covers, and did two rounds of PGS to determine our few normal embryos.
I am preparing for a FET of one embryo. If this does not work, we will proceed to a gestational carrier since I have uterine issues as well. We wanted to do the fresh cycles ASAP before my eggs age beyond help.
FWIW, after the first cyle I started taking ubiqionol in addition to folate, prenatals and DHA. I also got my vitamin D levels up.

Good luck with your FET!

Thank you! Wish you lots of luck too!