bullying

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would feel the same way too, I would want to confront her husband as well.

Theoretically, it would be the right thing to do.

But DON'T!!! Doing so may anger him more and cause marital issues for your sister and things may progress to much much worse.

Stay out of it and continue being a great sister to your sis as well as an awesome Aunt to your niece.

Try to avoid spending any significant amount of time around her husband if you can.

I have one question/concern here: Could he be physically abusive toward her when you guys are not around??

Actually, I don't think he would be physical. She showed me a text last night and it seems he understands he needs to treat her better. They will still have a heart to heart and hopefully the lines of communication will open up a bit. Fingers crossed!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op here - not sure why some of my post got deleted.

Thx for the advice. I'm only trying to help her out. Not wreck her marriage, make her pick between me or her hubby. I just want to see her being respected like she should be

Why don't you try to set a good example for your sister by at least getting engaged.to your partner to show her that you actually have some self respect? It's implied that your BIL was very unhappy he was forced to put up with company. It can't be you since he knkws you. What exactly is your boyfriend like and why can't he afford to pay for a hotel for your birthday?

This makes no sense. Why do I have to get engaged to travel with my boyfriend? I'm never getting married again. A piece of paper and a ring can't make a person treat another with respect. I learned that in my own marriage. Self respect was walking away from that BS of a marriage, knowing that I deserve to be treat better.

I found out last night, this was the first time they had ever hosted a person to stay with them. They bought a pull out couch specifically to have people stay with them, however, now we know that the hubby hates people in his space. A bit crazy if you ask me since it was just for 1 night but whatever. Lesson learned. When I go back up in August with my daughter, we will leave her hubby at home and take the kids to the beach - a girls weekend, without the fear of upseting him. I guess he doesn't like to be a host.

You don't have to do anything you don't want. On the other hand, don't set yourself up as your sister's marriage counselor since your clearly unqualified.

Thanks for telling the truth about what causednthe fight, finally-- you and your current fwb imposing on your sister and bil. Something tells me they probably don't have a great deal of space to house guests.

It was you and your fb who caused them to fight by your lack of consideration. Your sister was crying because you are probably pulling the same kind of manipulative stuff you've done in the past to try to mess up her relationships. You know the fault is yours (and your fb's) which is why you are so invested in blaming bil. Stop trying to wreck their marriage. You owe your sister and hlbil an apology for being the catalyst of all this. Then shut up and stop causing trouble.

[Anonymous]

When you go back in August, stay at a hotel.

You have a shit ton of nerve to criticize them for actually buying new furniture for your visit. So I have a pretty good clue what actually happened. I hate fold out couches since they are usually uncomfortable and it is impossible to get a good night sleep on one. I bet you or your man complained about it and wouldn't shut up about it. This poed the bil since he likely had spent hundreds of dollars on it. Bil probably asked your sis to tell you to be quiet about it and either she wouldn't because you are the "brassy, loud,obnoxious" twin or she tried and you wouldn't. I have a feeling your male friend probably made some dumb entitled comments to add fuel to the fire. The only reason bil took your sister into the bathroom to discuss was that us the only place to have privacy and he didn't want to offend you by criticizing you to your face--because he was trying to be a good host.

Because you are incredibly dysfnctional you have managed to twist everything around looking for an angle to try to break up her marriage.

[Anonymous]

Question: Did your sister's hubsband know in advance you were bringing a male friend along with you or was that a birthday surprise? How heavy are you and your boyfriend? Did you damage the fold-out in some way? Were youaking lots of noise jungle fucking so he couldn't get any sleep? Did you do anything inappropriate like your boyfriend walking around in his underwear where the child might see him? Did you your friend hog the washroom? Did your boyfriend steal anything? So many questions need to be answere to give you good advice.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:When you go back in August, stay at a hotel.

You have a shit ton of nerve to criticize them for actually buying new furniture for your visit. So I have a pretty good clue what actually happened. I hate fold out couches since they are usually uncomfortable and it is impossible to get a good night sleep on one. I bet you or your man complained about it and wouldn't shut up about it. This poed the bil since he likely had spent hundreds of dollars on it. Bil probably asked your sis to tell you to be quiet about it and either she wouldn't because you are the "brassy, loud,obnoxious" twin or she tried and you wouldn't. I have a feeling your male friend probably made some dumb entitled comments to add fuel to the fire. The only reason bil took your sister into the bathroom to discuss was that us the only place to have privacy and he didn't want to offend you by criticizing you to your face--because he was trying to be a good host.

Because you are incredibly dysfnctional you have managed to twist everything around looking for an angle to try to break up her marriage.

WTF? No I had no say in what furniture they bought. I think my sister wants to have guests and he doesn't. Our parents are going up there in July and she wants them to stay with them, he wants them in a hotel. We just happened to be there when they figured out there fundamental difference in having a house guest.

Nope, I'm not dysfunctional. I'm just a nice sister that wanted to hang out with her on our birthday, when in fact, she invited me up to visit. Geez!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Question: Did your sister's hubsband know in advance you were bringing a male friend along with you or was that a birthday surprise? How heavy are you and your boyfriend? Did you damage the fold-out in some way? Were youaking lots of noise jungle fucking so he couldn't get any sleep? Did you do anything inappropriate like your boyfriend walking around in his underwear where the child might see him? Did you your friend hog the washroom? Did your boyfriend steal anything? So many questions need to be answere to give you good advice.

Yes, he knew in advance that we were coming. He has met my boyfriend before. We did not damage the fold out in anyway. No, I'm not going to fuck my boyfriend on a fold out couch in my sisters place. Geez! I didn't wear anything in appropropiate at all. We didn't steal anything.

Point is, I love my sister and her daughter but I'm not going to be hanging out with her hubby any time soon again. No thanks.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op here - not sure why some of my post got deleted.

Thx for the advice. I'm only trying to help her out. Not wreck her marriage, make her pick between me or her hubby. I just want to see her being respected like she should be

Why don't you try to set a good example for your sister by at least getting engaged.to your partner to show her that you actually have some self respect? It's implied that your BIL was very unhappy he was forced to put up with company. It can't be you since he knkws you. What exactly is your boyfriend like and why can't he afford to pay for a hotel for your birthday?

This makes no sense. Why do I have to get engaged to travel with my boyfriend? I'm never getting married again. A piece of paper and a ring can't make a person treat another with respect. I learned that in my own marriage. Self respect was walking away from that BS of a marriage, knowing that I deserve to be treat better.

I found out last night, this was the first time they had ever hosted a person to stay with them. They bought a pull out couch specifically to have people stay with them, however, now we know that the hubby hates people in his space. A bit crazy if you ask me since it was just for 1 night but whatever. Lesson learned. When I go back up in August with my daughter, we will leave her hubby at home and take the kids to the beach - a girls weekend, without the fear of upseting him. I guess he doesn't like to be a host.

You don't have to do anything you don't want. On the other hand, don't set yourself up as your sister's marriage counselor since your clearly unqualified.

Thanks for telling the truth about what causednthe fight, finally-- you and your current fwb imposing on your sister and bil. Something tells me they probably don't have a great deal of space to house guests.

It was you and your fb who caused them to fight by your lack of consideration. Your sister was crying because you are probably pulling the same kind of manipulative stuff you've done in the past to try to mess up her relationships. You know the fault is yours (and your fb's) which is why you are so invested in blaming bil. Stop trying to wreck their marriage. You owe your sister and hlbil an apology for being the catalyst of all this. Then shut up and stop causing trouble.

We did not impose, we were invited to come and visit and my sister WANTED us to stay the night. I guess her hubby didn't. Who knows, but he was aware of it.

Fact - NOTHING excuses the way he spoke to her, in a threatening manner. Nothing. It was fucked up to witness. That is what I'm bothered about the most.

[Anonymous]

OP....don't justify yourself to PP. She is projecting her own loony family dysfunction onto you.

My DH doesn't like having guests, either. Social anxiety. He would never react the way your BIL did. Unacceptable.