Fence and trouble with neighbors

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
I am always polite to my neighbors even when I can't stand them.

However, a real privacy fence does create a feeling of confinement and indicates poor social skills because it's not neighborly to block the view completely.

There are many fence options to choose from, including ones with alternate slats, or ones with minimal spaces between slats so that some light peeks through. There is no reason that children and pets should have you completely shut-in, because the important thing is having a high-enough fence that the dogs can't jump over it, and that the children can't fit themselves through the slats.

A sealed privacy fence basically means: "I hate my neighbors". Seems like your neighbor got the message loud and clear.

What? No. Why do I want a view of my neighbor's backyard? I can see them in the front yard. Back yards should be private outdoor living space - having a privacy fence doesn't mean that you hate the neighbors any more than having blinds on your windows means that you hate the neighbors. Don't be silly.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
I am always polite to my neighbors even when I can't stand them.

However, a real privacy fence does create a feeling of confinement and indicates poor social skills because it's not neighborly to block the view completely.

There are many fence options to choose from, including ones with alternate slats, or ones with minimal spaces between slats so that some light peeks through. There is no reason that children and pets should have you completely shut-in, because the important thing is having a high-enough fence that the dogs can't jump over it, and that the children can't fit themselves through the slats.

A sealed privacy fence basically means: "I hate my neighbors". Seems like your neighbor got the message loud and clear.

Well, France and England must have the worst social skills on the planet, according to you. Most gardens have walls!!

I love a good fence, and a wall, what's with the "view"? It's the suburbs, not the Amalfi Coast.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Is it common courtesy to speak to the neighbors before putting up a fence, by the way? I've heard that in NOVA, the fence companies will only build a few inches in from the property line, but I've also heard others say that they had their NOVA fence installed ON the property line and that a neighbor or both chipped in.

Neighbors frequently get mad about other neighbors fences. Asking them beforehand when you have already decided to do it is not a good plan because it sets up the idea that you need their approval. So then if you say no, they feel like well they told you they did not want it, but you did it anyway. Sound childish? That is the mindset of people who object to others fences.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is it common courtesy to speak to the neighbors before putting up a fence, by the way? I've heard that in NOVA, the fence companies will only build a few inches in from the property line, but I've also heard others say that they had their NOVA fence installed ON the property line and that a neighbor or both chipped in.

Neighbors frequently get mad about other neighbors fences. Asking them beforehand when you have already decided to do it is not a good plan because it sets up the idea that you need their approval. So then if you say no, they feel like well they told you they did not want it, but you did it anyway. Sound childish? That is the mindset of people who object to others fences.

If they are unreasonable that is one thing. But if you are building your fence on their property it is generally a good idea to talk to them about your plans first so that there are no misunderstandings. Now if you are simply building a fence with your own money - no you don't need to discuss that with them unless it comes up during polite neighborly chit chat. Nor do you need to discuss anything else that might impact their view - like taking down your own trees. It is your yard, you get to live there too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
I am always polite to my neighbors even when I can't stand them.

However, a real privacy fence does create a feeling of confinement and indicates poor social skills because it's not neighborly to block the view completely.

There are many fence options to choose from, including ones with alternate slats, or ones with minimal spaces between slats so that some light peeks through. There is no reason that children and pets should have you completely shut-in, because the important thing is having a high-enough fence that the dogs can't jump over it, and that the children can't fit themselves through the slats.

A sealed privacy fence basically means: "I hate my neighbors". Seems like your neighbor got the message loud and clear.

dafuq? A privacy fence is for privacy from creepers like you that like to 'peek' in between the slats
dafuq?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
I am always polite to my neighbors even when I can't stand them.

However, a real privacy fence does create a feeling of confinement and indicates poor social skills because it's not neighborly to block the view completely.

There are many fence options to choose from, including ones with alternate slats, or ones with minimal spaces between slats so that some light peeks through. There is no reason that children and pets should have you completely shut-in, because the important thing is having a high-enough fence that the dogs can't jump over it, and that the children can't fit themselves through the slats.

A sealed privacy fence basically means: "I hate my neighbors". Seems like your neighbor got the message loud and clear.

Im back again to say...dafuq?
You are the unreasonable neighbor. The one others post about. You get offended at something imaginary ("I have a right to peek into your backyard at your kids") so then you get passive aggressive. what are you going to do: park your car in front of my house? not say hi (oooh, oh no). Whatever.

[Anonymous]

We are lucky. All of the neighbors used the same kind of fence. It does not block the view and it has a very upscale look to it. All of us have also planted trees and bushes to give us some privacy, but its not a completely blocked view/

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
I am always polite to my neighbors even when I can't stand them.

However, a real privacy fence does create a feeling of confinement and indicates poor social skills because it's not neighborly to block the view completely.

There are many fence options to choose from, including ones with alternate slats, or ones with minimal spaces between slats so that some light peeks through. There is no reason that children and pets should have you completely shut-in, because the important thing is having a high-enough fence that the dogs can't jump over it, and that the children can't fit themselves through the slats.

A sealed privacy fence basically means: "I hate my neighbors". Seems like your neighbor got the message loud and clear.

Well, France and England must have the worst social skills on the planet, according to you. Most gardens have walls!!

I love a good fence, and a wall, what's with the "view"? It's the suburbs, not the Amalfi Coast.

I'm the poster everyone is criticizing here. I'm French.

My point is that you have to do what's in keeping with the character of the neighborhood.

Where I live in Paris, it's 100% all about privacy and it's considered downright dangerous to NOT have high security.
Where I live in Bethesda, the houses are all sitting neatly in the middle of lovely gardens surrounded by nothing, or at most a white picket fence. Neighbors are friendly and all our children run across everyone's yards during their play. It's a different world, and I have to say, a warmer and more nurturing one! In that context it would be rude of me to put up a high, completely opaque privacy fence.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
I am always polite to my neighbors even when I can't stand them.

However, a real privacy fence does create a feeling of confinement and indicates poor social skills because it's not neighborly to block the view completely.

There are many fence options to choose from, including ones with alternate slats, or ones with minimal spaces between slats so that some light peeks through. There is no reason that children and pets should have you completely shut-in, because the important thing is having a high-enough fence that the dogs can't jump over it, and that the children can't fit themselves through the slats.

A sealed privacy fence basically means: "I hate my neighbors". Seems like your neighbor got the message loud and clear.

I totally agree, PP. I really hate the look of the shut-in, tall privacy fences. It makes me feel confined, like I'm in prison. No one in our neighborhood (of half acre back yards) has fences at all and it would definitely be interpreted as an f-you to neighbors if someone moved in and immediately put up a big unsightly privacy fence. We do have an open view into each other's yards, though we all have various degrees of shrubbery and other natural screens to define our spaces.

Personally, with a toddler and hoping to get a dog, I'd consider one of the really pretty, open types of fencing that could confine a kid and a dog but not completely block views. I'm not running a meth lab back or porn shoot back in my yard. I don't care if someone glances at me kicking a soccer ball with my kid. It's nice to wave at neighbors and see that they're outside and occasionally have a chat. A privacy fence is like a big hand in your face right as you're trying to smile and say hello. And they're just ugly.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I built a fence fully within my land and with all required permits. Now my neighbor despises me. It is a very nice fence, very classy wooden fence that cost a lot of money and is complemented by all who see it. Neighbor got severely, extremely insulted that I blocked his "open views". Now neighbor won't even nod at me. (I have a dog and kids and wanted privacy rather than an unfenced backyard where any stranger can look into what we are doing.). Anyone deal with this kind of problem?

You may have some friends who compliment (with an i) the fence, but many of us find privacy fences extremely unattractive. They ruin the feel of a backyard and I have never seen a "classy" one in my life. In fact, they symbolize lack of class to me. I don't blame your neighbor one bit. If you are seriously concerned about being neighborly, you're going to need to make a major effort to show your neighbor that your fence is not a declaration that you disregard your neighbor's concerns and opinions. Your fence completely changed the look of his backyard, and it's understandable that he's annoyed by it. You had every right to build it, and he has every right to dislike you for it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I built a fence fully within my land and with all required permits. Now my neighbor despises me. It is a very nice fence, very classy wooden fence that cost a lot of money and is complemented by all who see it. Neighbor got severely, extremely insulted that I blocked his "open views". Now neighbor won't even nod at me. (I have a dog and kids and wanted privacy rather than an unfenced backyard where any stranger can look into what we are doing.). Anyone deal with this kind of problem?

You may have some friends who compliment (with an i) the fence, but many of us find privacy fences extremely unattractive. They ruin the feel of a backyard and I have never seen a "classy" one in my life. In fact, they symbolize lack of class to me. I don't blame your neighbor one bit. If you are seriously concerned about being neighborly, you're going to need to make a major effort to show your neighbor that your fence is not a declaration that you disregard your neighbor's concerns and opinions. Your fence completely changed the look of his backyard, and it's understandable that he's annoyed by it. You had every right to build it, and he has every right to dislike you for it.

NP here. I echo an earlier PP's dafuq? This is beyond stupid to care about. What if the neighbor is putting in pool? Not the hill I'd die on, or the fence-post I'd impale myself on over neighborliness. Oh yeah - I'm still wondering why the color of my skin is not "neighborly" enough to get me next-door neighbor to acknowledge my "good mornings", etc. She doesn't have a problem hearing DH who is white.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I built a fence fully within my land and with all required permits. Now my neighbor despises me. It is a very nice fence, very classy wooden fence that cost a lot of money and is complemented by all who see it. Neighbor got severely, extremely insulted that I blocked his "open views". Now neighbor won't even nod at me. (I have a dog and kids and wanted privacy rather than an unfenced backyard where any stranger can look into what we are doing.). Anyone deal with this kind of problem?

You may have some friends who compliment (with an i) the fence, but many of us find privacy fences extremely unattractive. They ruin the feel of a backyard and I have never seen a "classy" one in my life. In fact, they symbolize lack of class to me. I don't blame your neighbor one bit. If you are seriously concerned about being neighborly, you're going to need to make a major effort to show your neighbor that your fence is not a declaration that you disregard your neighbor's concerns and opinions. Your fence completely changed the look of his backyard, and it's understandable that he's annoyed by it. You had every right to build it, and he has every right to dislike you for it.

NP here. I echo an earlier PP's dafuq? This is beyond stupid to care about. What if the neighbor is putting in pool? Not the hill I'd die on, or the fence-post I'd impale myself on over neighborliness. Oh yeah - I'm still wondering why the color of my skin is not "neighborly" enough to get me next-door neighbor to acknowledge my "good mornings", etc. She doesn't have a problem hearing DH who is white.

Huh? You're a new poster and you're bringing up your neighbor's seeming bias against your skin color. What does that have do to with OP's fence or PP's opinion that privacy fences are unsightly?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I built a fence fully within my land and with all required permits. Now my neighbor despises me. It is a very nice fence, very classy wooden fence that cost a lot of money and is complemented by all who see it. Neighbor got severely, extremely insulted that I blocked his "open views". Now neighbor won't even nod at me. (I have a dog and kids and wanted privacy rather than an unfenced backyard where any stranger can look into what we are doing.). Anyone deal with this kind of problem?

You may have some friends who compliment (with an i) the fence, but many of us find privacy fences extremely unattractive. They ruin the feel of a backyard and I have never seen a "classy" one in my life. In fact, they symbolize lack of class to me. I don't blame your neighbor one bit. If you are seriously concerned about being neighborly, you're going to need to make a major effort to show your neighbor that your fence is not a declaration that you disregard your neighbor's concerns and opinions. Your fence completely changed the look of his backyard, and it's understandable that he's annoyed by it. You had every right to build it, and he has every right to dislike you for it.

And you are unreasonable. No way am I going to spend a minute of my time on you. Lol.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
I am always polite to my neighbors even when I can't stand them.

However, a real privacy fence does create a feeling of confinement and indicates poor social skills because it's not neighborly to block the view completely.

There are many fence options to choose from, including ones with alternate slats, or ones with minimal spaces between slats so that some light peeks through. There is no reason that children and pets should have you completely shut-in, because the important thing is having a high-enough fence that the dogs can't jump over it, and that the children can't fit themselves through the slats.

A sealed privacy fence basically means: "I hate my neighbors". Seems like your neighbor got the message loud and clear.

I totally agree, PP. I really hate the look of the shut-in, tall privacy fences. It makes me feel confined, like I'm in prison. No one in our neighborhood (of half acre back yards) has fences at all and it would definitely be interpreted as an f-you to neighbors if someone moved in and immediately put up a big unsightly privacy fence. We do have an open view into each other's yards, though we all have various degrees of shrubbery and other natural screens to define our spaces.

Personally, with a toddler and hoping to get a dog, I'd consider one of the really pretty, open types of fencing that could confine a kid and a dog but not completely block views. I'm not running a meth lab back or porn shoot back in my yard. I don't care if someone glances at me kicking a soccer ball with my kid. It's nice to wave at neighbors and see that they're outside and occasionally have a chat. A privacy fence is like a big hand in your face right as you're trying to smile and say hello. And they're just ugly.

You guys have funny opinions. I live in AU Park, and we and our nearby neighbors all have privacy fences in the back. That doesn't stop us from being friendly with each other, invite each other to bbqs and dinners, or occasionally water each others' plants or feed each others' pets when someone is out of town. I agree with others that the backyard is private outdoor space just like your house is private indoor space. A privacy fence in the front would be weird, but in the back? It doesn't symbolize anything.

[Anonymous]

Privacy fences are for, well, privacy. Like blinds on the windows. No one has a right to a view inside my house or yard.

Keeps the deer out and the dog in.....

And, heck, I talk to my neighbors every weekend, we lean on the fence to do it.