2nd grade son refusing help from special ed staff (dyslexia)
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Anonymous
| Does he have an IEP? Our DC charter has extra help early in the morning and after school for kids with similar issues in addition to inclusive classrooms. |
Anonymous
It also might help to explain that dyslexia is not a talent deficit, but rather a talent difference. Dyslexics actually have visual processing strengths that may make reading hard but make other things EASIER. http://www.nytimes.com/2012/02/05/opinion/sunday/the-upside-of-dyslexia.html?_r=0 We constantly tell our kids that school is like a factory -- it's built for certain kinds of brains and to turn out certain kinds of thinking. The kid who can recognize subtle pattern differences across a wide field might turn up important and interesting scientific observation, but can't churn out a paper that requires citing to research texts. Like any mass production effort, the education production line isn't a good fit for brain types that are not in the "majority" and it isn't a good fit for turning out thinking that isn't mainstream. Just because you struggle in school, doesn't mean that you are stupid, and it certainly doesn't mean that you will struggle in life. Once you get into college and the work world, where you can choose what and how to study and do, most people find themselves way more successful than they were in HS. The "it gets better" mantra is applicable here too... |
Anonymous
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OP, my son sounds like yours. He is a beautiful boy, smart and funny and athletic and popular...and dyslexic. And when he was really struggling with reading (in first grade when he was diagnosed) none of that mattered. All he could see and feel was that he couldn't read and his friends could and he was just humiliated. Little things hurt - he couldn't find page numbers, so when the teacher said "turn to page 56 in your math book" a friend had to help him find the page. Or reading the morning message, when he couldn't. No one tried to make him feel badly, and he is at a very nurturing and kind school. But a smart kid who can't do what he THINKS his brain should be able to do...its hard.
I've always thought my kid can be a bit lazy, and when he was resistant to the tutoring I thought he didn't want to work. But once he bought into it, man did he start to work. Once he saw that it did work, that it enabled him to learn, he put all that humiliation and hurt into effort. His tutor tells me he works really, really hard. It is really touching, actually. And he has learned to meaning of hard work, not because of anything we did as parents, but because that is what life handed him. |
Anonymous
+1. Our child too could see the difference by second grade -- everyone around him could do certain things with ease. Even if no one says anything or makes you feel bad, you still feel bad. And the truth is that people may not say anything, but their body language and non-verbal expression betray what they're really feeling -- our child used to talk about how his teacher said nice things but had his "mad face" on when our DC couldn't do certain things. |
Anonymous
| We're dealing with similar things in middle school. DS has had an IEP for several years but really started refusing help this year. It is very frustrating - and he is seeing a therapist. The horrid thing is that these struggles affect even things that kids once liked. |
Anonymous
| If the existing reading interventions are not working well -- ask your school to order an updated educational assessment and assistive technology (AT)assessment. With AT think - books being read aloud to child on a small laptop or an iPad. AT supports are very powerful and I see so much benefit in the classroom!!! |
Anonymous
Are you a teacher? I am a big supporter of AT, but I am NOT a supporter of AT being used to fix an instructional problem. I am in MCPS, and all too often I see teachers insist on applying their own version of "specialized instruction" for struggling readers. This version is usually NOT a specific program, NOT systematic, NOT explicit enough and NOT research-proven. It is usually merely general education provided more intensively with more supports and lower expectations. Struggling readers who are dyslexic need (and have a legal right to) research-proven instruction in reading like OG, Phonographix, Wilson, etc. All too often, I see IEP teams fail to provide research-proven instruction, and when the child does not progress, the teachers assume something is wrong with the child (or the parent, for having expectations that are "too high"). Then the IEP team just provides AT as a substitute, with the result that the child never actually learns to read because they never actually got the right kind of instruction, i.e. instruction "appropriate" to the student's neuropsychological needs/profile. AT is good to allow struggling readers to access on grade level material so that the struggling reader doesn't fall behind peers in terms of access to and acquisition of new substantive knowledge. An example here would be giving an audiobook of To Kill a Mockingbird to a HS child to make it easier and more efficient for that HS child to keep up with the class reading/discussion in English. AT is also good to allow kids to enjoy reading of all kinds at their intellectual level when their reading level doesn't match their intellectual ability level. An example would be a bright 4th grader who reads on a 2nd grade level which is not high enough to allow him to enjoyably read the Harry Potter series that his peers love. AT is also good to provide modeling in fluency and decoding when human assistance isn't available or when the assistance needed is minor and sporadic. A kid who uses an audiobook with a natural voice reader is hearing good fluency to model. A kid who is largely able to read a book but just needs help every few pages or so on decoding a new vocabulary word is getting assistance where he/she might not otherwise. But, AT is NOT a substitute for intensive, explicit, appropriate instruction. Here is an analogy -- your child is born with a congenital leg problem which makes it difficult to walk. With a lot of instruction/therapy, the child can strengthen muscles and walk. It's critical to the child's development and life opportunities and access to be able to walk to some degree. Assistive technology, like a wheelchair or crutches might be necessary if the child has to do a lot of walking which would make them so tired that that effort could be better used elsewhere. But, it would be criminal if a school system or a doctor said, "I will not give you the instruction/therapy that will help you walk, because you can just use a wheelchair all the time instead." That example explains how I often see AT used in the classroom, because it is easier and cheaper for the teacher and the system to use AT than to provide appropriate instruction. |
Anonymous
| OP, I'd try to reinforce the learning difference issue. Dyslexics can be very successful. Maybe your son would be interested in some successful dyslexics in various fields: http://dyslexia.yale.edu/successfuldyslexics.html |
Anonymous
May I ask where you got your tutor? He sounds like he would be a good fit for my DS for the summer. |