If you have very different-sized bedrooms, how do you (fairly) assign them among siblings?

[Anonymous]

As the youngest of 4, alas, I agree that oldest to youngest is the best route.

HOWEVER.

Once the oldest goes off to college, they do not retain rights to their room. The next oldest, then the next, then the next, etc get to move up the ranks.

[Anonymous]

We have a similar set up where there is a clear master bedroom, and one large bedroom and the other medium sized. First child was in the medium room, and we used the large bedroom as a study/guest room. When we had the second child, we asked the older child if he wanted to move to the larger room and he said no. SO now the baby is the largest room (actually bigger than the master!)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We have a similar set up where there is a clear master bedroom, and one large bedroom and the other medium sized. First child was in the medium room, and we used the large bedroom as a study/guest room. When we had the second child, we asked the older child if he wanted to move to the larger room and he said no. SO now the baby is the largest room (actually bigger than the master!)

How old are the kids now? Has this worked out without any regrets?

[Anonymous]

In the beginning - oldest gets the bigger and baby the smaller. When they are old enough and if they want to share move them both into the big room and make the other a playroom or office.

If you are going to give the baby the smaller room I would try to move older at least 8 weeks before baby is home.

[Anonymous]

My boys are not quite 5 years apart and share a bedroom.

If my oldest had a choice, he would have his own room. In my opinion, not giving him that option has created a situation where he needs to interact with his younger brother more and have a stronger relationship.

[Anonymous]

Ask he oldest which he wants. HE may or may not want to move.

[Anonymous]

Our kids are babies now, but when they get old enough to care I'll probably set up an auction where they can submit bids for the maximum monthly hit to their allowance they would accept in exchange for the right to have first pick of bedrooms. It's the optimal way to allocate resources. (yes, I am an economist...)

[Anonymous]

Can you take a little space out of the larger bedroom for another bathroom and more closets?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Our kids are babies now, but when they get old enough to care I'll probably set up an auction where they can submit bids for the maximum monthly hit to their allowance they would accept in exchange for the right to have first pick of bedrooms. It's the optimal way to allocate resources. (yes, I am an economist...)

LOL, this is awesome.

So one thing I don't think I've seen anyone mention... also don't make a big deal of it as the kids are growing up. Teach them that bigger isn't necessarily better. For example, if they start complaining about it, you could point out that mommy and daddy have difference sized cars, but that doesn't mean one is better, they're just different. Or find other things like that.

It is a gift to your kids when you can help teach them contentedness, and this bedroom size issue is a good place to practice. It's a VERY hard concept to teach kids but little by little if you keep it in the back of your mind, over time they'll get it - especially as adults. An attitude of contentedness is something adults can really benefit from.

[Anonymous]

My DD chose the one with a large walk-in closet. Since the windows face the front of the house, she has to shut the blinds in the evenings.

My DS chose the one with a closet with tons of built in custom shelves. It is smaller, but adequate for his needs. The windows face the woods and he never ever closes the blinds.

Each think they have the best room!

[Anonymous]

OP here. Thanks for the perspectives.

I would really love to ask my DS#1 what he'd like to do, but he's 3 years old, and half of the time he has no idea what the implications are of a decision or what he will want in a few hours. We ask things all the time and are told one thing, followed by the other a few minutes later. Sometimes he talks for hours about wanting to go to the park, and then when we're going there, he says he wants to go home. There's no way we could get a productive answer this way, and I think he would do better overall if we set out the plan for him.

As for altering the larger bedroom, there's no easy way to do this, and we don't have the funds right now, so this isn't an option.

I'm not stressing much about this but just want to know what the best route is. Neither DH nor I shared a bedroom with siblings or had a situation where there was much of a difference in bedrooms, so it's not something we really have on our radar. Maybe we will move from this house, but I'd like to start off right as long as we are here! Thanks!

[Anonymous]

We're in the same situation, but we're leaning toward sharing. I think they'd enjoy being together! Just debating at what age we should move the baby in without too much disruption, definitely concerned about potential sleep issues!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:As the youngest of 4, alas, I agree that oldest to youngest is the best route.

HOWEVER.

Once the oldest goes off to college, they do not retain rights to their room. The next oldest, then the next, then the next, etc get to move up the ranks.

As the youngest who always got stuck with the smallest room, the problem with this is that the oldest gets the good room for fourteen years and then the youngest for four?? Oh, that's fair.

Plus, oldest children are entitled and insist on not giving up their room once they go to college. So I got stuck in the tiny room while my older siblings large room sat empty nine months out of the year.

[Anonymous]

We had to move our 3 year old into the smaller room when our new baby was born. The smaller room gets cold sometimes but is fine with blankets - and is further from our room. Our son was happy about the move because we let him get a loft bed and decorate his room. We also moved him well before the baby showed up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We have a similar set up where there is a clear master bedroom, and one large bedroom and the other medium sized. First child was in the medium room, and we used the large bedroom as a study/guest room. When we had the second child, we asked the older child if he wanted to move to the larger room and he said no. SO now the baby is the largest room (actually bigger than the master!)

How old are the kids now? Has this worked out without any regrets?

We're one year in, so so far no issues. At the time, the older child was 3 and was attached to his room. It made sense that he didn't want to move. We asked him several times and he kept saying no. Anyway, he's 4.5 now and still never asks. It may help that the baby's room still looks like a study/guest room...it just has a crib in it.