In-Laws at Hosoital During Labor & Delivery?

[Anonymous]

I agree that you should only have people there who you want. But I also think you should be honest and tell them that you want your privacy ahead of time. That way, you can call them when you're in labor (which is an exciting time for them too) but they will know not to come to the hospital.

Also, do you plan to get an epidural? If so, once it is placed you won't be walking anywhere. You could call them once you are situated in your room, that way they could hang out in the waiting room and there is zero chance you'll see them. Make sure the nurses know your wishes, and they won't let anyone in to see you.

My whole family flew in when I was in labor, even though I made it very clear that nobody would see me until after the baby was born and we had had our bonding time as a family. When I ended up with a c-section, it was actually nice to have a chance to see everyone before I was wheeled in (yeah, I changed my mind). And my husband did get to tell them the name and gender while they were cleaning up DD, then joined me again.

Everyone felt included, but it was still the privacy and intimacy that I wanted.

Good luck to you, whatever you decide.

[Anonymous]

Thanks to all who responded for all of the great advice. We did tell the in-laws our wishes -- and they were not happy about it, but did respect our wishes. I am very glad that we were alone for the labor, delivery and recovery. They all visited the following day and that was great because it gave us some time alone to recuperate and enjoy the baby. This was definetly the right thing to do for us. Thanks again.

[Anonymous]

Congrats for standing your ground and so glad it all worked out. I'll never forget being in labor, getting ready to find out if I was going to have an emergency-c section and my husband sheepishly admitting that he had called his mom and she was in the waiting area and if I didn't feel comfortable having her hang out in our room could he go visit with her for a little while. I had an exorcist moment and he sat his butt down but I was fuming for a good long while.

[Anonymous]

OMG this makes me stressed just thinking about it! I would not want them there either (I don't even know them and I'm sure they're wonderful people), but his is a private moment. They should do whatever you feel comfortable with and not take it personally or be upset. It's not about them. It's about you and the baby!

[Anonymous]

Your husband (not you) needs to tell them ahead of time that you want to go through this experience together-just the two of you. Stress the importance of that to them.
I agree with a PP, BOUNDRIES are IMPORTANT-be kind but firm,stand your ground, do not waiver, but of course make sure they know that you want them to see the newborn as soon as possible (read as soon as YOU are comfortable and ready for visitors!)
I have found boundry setting to be very important with my in-laws, luckily my husband agrees!

[Anonymous]

I would just call them after the baby is born. Remember, this is a very exciting time for them, too. By waiting till after the delivery, you get your privacy and there are no hurt feelings. If they ask why you waited to call them, tell them that you were just too busy!