Men, how do you feel about your OW?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm the other woman in this situation. I'm single, he is married but I'll answer from my perspective. He and I talk constantly. Depending on schedules of course as mine is more demanding. On days I'm available we talk at least 3-4 hours on the phone. I think about him constantly, he is my best friend. He is also my biggest enemy as we do fight a lot.,we are each others person to take out our aggression on. Safe to say we love each other even though our relationship is totally screwed up.

This sounds like a normal relationship with the fighting and everything I'd say. I think showing him you're angry means you feel secure enough in his love that he won't leave you over the anger. As long as you guys aren't actually being abusive, of course.

My AP won't communicate at all unless we're face to face. He doesn't want to leave a paper trail, and I understand his reasons, but it's hard for me, especially when I hear about other guys who will talk or text. Really I think if he cared about me he'd want to talk to me more.

PP, you might not be the best judge of what a normal relationship is. That level of anger is just confusing drama for real love. My DH and I fight maybe once every three or four months.

And you are being used by your AP. What is wrong in your heart that makes you settle for being someone's piece on the side? Get help and heal yourself.

Someone has asked me this before, why do I settle for crumbs. Actually, they said I shouldn't settle for crumbs. I think I'm just starting to figure out why. First, I can't date normally. It's terrifying and my therapist says I shouldn't be doing it. Second, the AP is someone I've admired for a long time. Being with him doesn't feel like a side piece to me. It feels like living out a fantasy. Third, I could never be his wife.

So your therapist is on board with you being the OW? Time to get another therapist if so.

My idea of a fantasy relationship involves talking on the phone and texting. Not being hidden from the world with no "papertrail."

He's got you right where he wants you. I feel really sorry for you. It would break my heart if my daughter ever ended up in a relationship like that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do you like talking to her? Do you think about her when she's not around? Is she someone you would have dated when you were single? Is it mainly/only sex?

I love my OW. I think about her constantly. We are very close and our intimate life is very satisfying. I wish I could be married to her, but we cannot. E

If you were married to OW, I bet that you would cheat on her.

You can not assume that... I would not cheat on my AP if she was my wife.

FFS then get a divorce and marry her. This is America 2015 not the freaking Dark Ages. Grow up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OW here who ended up having a child with a married man...

With that being said, I'm more than a best friend obviously. He calls me for everything, even to pay his bills or just random things. His wife just likes to shop and go out occasionally. We take trips together, go out to eat alone and with our child.

His wife knew he had a thing for me, just didn't think it would lead to a child. The wife has a child that he helped raise, but our child is his first one. I'm 10+ years younger than he is.

I hope the kid knows he/she has a father.

Yes the child does and the step mom.

[Anonymous]

Gross.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If you're going to judge and this topic bothers you move along. Don't read.

You're a whore. Truth bothers you? Don't read.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm the other woman in this situation. I'm single, he is married but I'll answer from my perspective. He and I talk constantly. Depending on schedules of course as mine is more demanding. On days I'm available we talk at least 3-4 hours on the phone. I think about him constantly, he is my best friend. He is also my biggest enemy as we do fight a lot.,we are each others person to take out our aggression on. Safe to say we love each other even though our relationship is totally screwed up.

This sounds like a normal relationship with the fighting and everything I'd say. I think showing him you're angry means you feel secure enough in his love that he won't leave you over the anger. As long as you guys aren't actually being abusive, of course.

My AP won't communicate at all unless we're face to face. He doesn't want to leave a paper trail, and I understand his reasons, but it's hard for me, especially when I hear about other guys who will talk or text. Really I think if he cared about me he'd want to talk to me more.

PP, you might not be the best judge of what a normal relationship is. That level of anger is just confusing drama for real love. My DH and I fight maybe once every three or four months.

And you are being used by your AP. What is wrong in your heart that makes you settle for being someone's piece on the side? Get help and heal yourself.

Someone has asked me this before, why do I settle for crumbs. Actually, they said I shouldn't settle for crumbs. I think I'm just starting to figure out why. First, I can't date normally. It's terrifying and my therapist says I shouldn't be doing it. Second, the AP is someone I've admired for a long time. Being with him doesn't feel like a side piece to me. It feels like living out a fantasy. Third, I could never be his wife.

So your therapist is on board with you being the OW? Time to get another therapist if so.

My idea of a fantasy relationship involves talking on the phone and texting. Not being hidden from the world with no "papertrail."

He's got you right where he wants you. I feel really sorry for you. It would break my heart if my daughter ever ended up in a relationship like that.

No, my therapist is not on board with it. Her advice is that I shouldn't be seeing men at all right now. Mostly she listens though, and tries to get me to see who he really is (not the guy I put on a pedestal). We talk about why I have these feelings for him.

But like you said, texting and phone calls would be part of my fantasy too. I guess I just don't see it as even a possibility.

[Anonymous]

Some posters should remember that being an OW does not mean she wants to marry him or have him to herself. It's the wife who gets all of him. The OW gets dates and nights out with a relaxed guy who wants her, without the hassle of children, bills and picking up his socks everyday.

IME, the very strong sexual chemistry is with people who are not good for a serious relationship, at least not with me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OW here who ended up having a child with a married man...

With that being said, I'm more than a best friend obviously. He calls me for everything, even to pay his bills or just random things. His wife just likes to shop and go out occasionally. We take trips together, go out to eat alone and with our child.

His wife knew he had a thing for me, just didn't think it would lead to a child. The wife has a child that he helped raise, but our child is his first one. I'm 10+ years younger than he is.

You do realize that as the OW and a younger woman, you should have your bills paid not the other way around, right? It's time to discuss your benefits package.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you're going to judge and this topic bothers you move along. Don't read.

You're a whore. Truth bothers you? Don't read.

You mad? Lol

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OW here who ended up having a child with a married man...

With that being said, I'm more than a best friend obviously. He calls me for everything, even to pay his bills or just random things. His wife just likes to shop and go out occasionally. We take trips together, go out to eat alone and with our child.

His wife knew he had a thing for me, just didn't think it would lead to a child. The wife has a child that he helped raise, but our child is his first one. I'm 10+ years younger than he is.

You do realize that as the OW and a younger woman, you should have your bills paid not the other way around, right? It's time to discuss your benefits package.

Nice gig for the married man.

[Anonymous]

^^^^ he should be paying child support

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you're going to judge and this topic bothers you move along. Don't read.

You're a whore. Truth bothers you? Don't read.

You mad? Lol

NP here. Nope, just calling a spade a whore.

[Anonymous]

Sure you're a new poster.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

No, my therapist is not on board with it. Her advice is that I shouldn't be seeing men at all right now. Mostly she listens though, and tries to get me to see who he really is (not the guy I put on a pedestal). We talk about why I have these feelings for him.

But like you said, texting and phone calls would be part of my fantasy too. I guess I just don't see it as even a possibility.

I was like you. I wasn't an OW but I settled for being with a manipulative jerk. And anyone who treats another person like a toy to be played with and put down at will is a grade A asshole. Certainly he should not be on a pedastal. If I knew anyone IRL who did that, I would read them the Riot Act...even my own little brother.

Once I got it together and realized I deserved better...I found the most amazing man. He is my true soul mate and treats me like a queen. Please dump this jerk.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OW here who ended up having a child with a married man...

With that being said, I'm more than a best friend obviously. He calls me for everything, even to pay his bills or just random things. His wife just likes to shop and go out occasionally. We take trips together, go out to eat alone and with our child.

His wife knew he had a thing for me, just didn't think it would lead to a child. The wife has a child that he helped raise, but our child is his first one. I'm 10+ years younger than he is.

You do realize that as the OW and a younger woman, you should have your bills paid not the other way around, right? It's time to discuss your benefits package.

I don't pay his bills with my money duh, I have his account info to pay his bills with etc. And by the way, he put down the downpayment on my new luxury car.