How do you keep in touch with local girlfriends?

[Anonymous]

I find the failure to find time a particularly mom-sided phenomenon. Every dad I know -to a one and including my own- has no problem finding time to get together. And they do so w/o any guilt or worrying about bedtime, etc. My DH, for ex, has weekly softball game and then drinks afterword for most of the spring, summer and fall. They are all good dads.

On the other hands, the strain that I find to get my mom friends together even once a month (!) and usually much less than that is unbelievable. I tried to schedule something this past week and about 1/2 came, 1/2 canceled at the last minute or just did not show up for a variety of reasons. They all expressed a need to be present for bedtime and agonized over having a night out. Why is that?

I must admit, I would get together with my friends more. But, I can't find anyone else who feels the same . .

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I find the failure to find time a particularly mom-sided phenomenon. Every dad I know -to a one and including my own- has no problem finding time to get together. And they do so w/o any guilt or worrying about bedtime, etc. My DH, for ex, has weekly softball game and then drinks afterword for most of the spring, summer and fall. They are all good dads.

On the other hands, the strain that I find to get my mom friends together even once a month (!) and usually much less than that is unbelievable. I tried to schedule something this past week and about 1/2 came, 1/2 canceled at the last minute or just did not show up for a variety of reasons. They all expressed a need to be present for bedtime and agonized over having a night out. Why is that?

I must admit, I would get together with my friends more. But, I can't find anyone else who feels the same . .

well, I almost WISH we had this scenario at home. I wish my husband had time to just hang with ANYONE - he works full time, travels some for work and is in school part-time. Time when he IS home is a luxury. I can't just plan get-togethers with friends without my daughter because a good deal of the time, my husband is just not available, and it isn't as though I have a ton of trusted sitters available and sitters are expensive anyway. The only time we get out in the evening is when my parents are visiting, which is once every 6 weeks or so, and we get ONE night - that is all the time my husband can spare. Our life just isn't typical...he just doesn't have time for friends.

Honestly, I have found it really hard to keep up local friendships - everyone just seems to have their own thing going on. The ones that work full time have their schedules packed all weekend. And since I worked full time for 2 years before cutting back to just 2 days a week, I don't have a network of SAHMs that I have known since my daughter was born. I've found it very hard to break into those social circles, which sucks because I am a social person and feel very isolated. I have had a few small successes in the 8 months I have been home more with my daughter - moms I have met through classes at the community center and another I met on an online chat board. But, really, I just don't get out to see my old girlfriends, even the ones with kids, much. We keep up a little on Facebook and email, but getting together just doesn't happen. Maybe I just need better friends...who knows?

Oh, but I would give my husband MASSIVE guilt trips if he actually went out with the boys and I didn't get time with my girls, too. I get so little "me time" to begin with....I would see it as ridiculously unfair if he got to have time to himself and I didn't get time to myself. I honestly don't get families where dad gets to go out and have a life away from his family and mom doesn't....