do you completely trust your parents/ILs with your kid?

[Anonymous]

I do, now that she is a little older-- I wouldn't when she was tiny. Grammie's house is a paradise-- old Smurfs shows on the VCR, ice cream every day, and a Bedazzler. I just don't have it in me to deny her!

[Anonymous]

Sadly, no. I love my ILs and can get past the fact that they do a lot of things differently than me... but FIL is drinking way too much these days, and they also don't require my preschool aged niece to ride in her car seat if she whines about it.

I've insisted on taking the keys after dining out with them despite their annoyance because I saw how much he had and observed definite impairment. I'd be too afraid that he would judge himself to be "fine" with DD in the car and me not there to stop him.

[Anonymous]

Yes on my parents.

No on my ILs if it involves driving or leaving the house. They aren't "eyes" on out of the house and my FIL is in denial about his hearing and vision and has become a downright frightening driver.

[Anonymous]

Yes on both parents and ILs. They do some things differently, but none I have a deal-breaker issue with. I feel very lucky.

[Anonymous]

Yes to my mom and MIL and FIL. My dad, no way, but he would never in a million years babysit without my mom present anyway because he gets too nervous anytime one of them cries (they're both under two) and starts calling for my mom to help. He's good with them, but probably doesn't even remember how to change diapers.

[Anonymous]

Uh, my dad's drunk all the time. So no.

[Anonymous]

My mom? Never. Mil? Well intentioned, but she figures that since she never used car seats that things like that are nice but not REALLY necessary. And gives in to anything if my kid fusses. So nope. She can't drive the kid anywhere. But she can visit whenever she wants.

[Anonymous]

Yes. When the kids were small I didn't leave them with them simply because they were such a handful - they exhausted me! They spent time with their grandparents but I was always there in case things got a bit too much for them. I think the youngest was 3 and the oldest 5 before I dropped them off and actually went to the store...

Looking back, I think I was being a bit too careful. But I was worried about stressing our parents out or possibly the boys being too much for them. Realistically, they probably could have handled them though. (I am a worrier and probably always will be).

[Anonymous]

One of my parents, 100%. My other parent needs some reminders and guidance but is most of the way there. In-laws, no. But fortunately the few times we have even asked them to do anything with the kid they protest, so it's not really an issue.

[Anonymous]

Parents yes, ILs only if my DS is sleeping and they just have to sit there and do nothing. They have lots of issues, health and mental, and they think it's ok to just feed DS junk all day. I sometimes think they do it to piss me off.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My parents put my son to bed too late, don't feed him as healthfully as I do. They let him watch too much TV and play too many video games. On top of that my father tells inappropriate things like it is OK to fart and burp. Drives me nuts.

That said I know he will be SAFE and LOVED and generally well taken care of when he is with them. They are not daily care givers so I have learned to accept that my son having a close relationship with my parents comes with a few drawbacks.

I am a single parent and about once a year I need to travel for work. My mother is the only one I would allow to stay with DS for while I am gone. She able to do school drop off/pick up and take care of DS and all the household chores while I am gone. I of course do as much as I can before I go.

um, what? your kids are not allowed to fart and burp?

[Anonymous]

I seem to have the opposite concern of most on this thread. I trust my parents for basic safety with the littles, but as my kids get older I worry about how much they will expose my kids to their warped worldview. I don't have that concern with my ILs.

And none of the grandparents follow our rules about sleep, feeding, tv, etc., but I try not to worry too much about that. I am not so arrogant that I think my way is the only way, and I think it's good for kids to experience care (operative word) styles from multiple caregivers.

[Anonymous]

Yes I do trust all the grandparents with my baby. That doesn't mean I wouldn't be a little nervous and check in a little too much, but I know that they are all capable of keeping my DD safe and cared for. Even if it's different from how I would do it.

And I am someone who regularly complains about my MIL on these boards. She's a tough person to deal with but not a bad person and she's a very loving grandmother.

[Anonymous]

With my mom, definitely. ILs, mostly. My dad/step mom would be fine in an emergency, but they are not really the babysitting types and have never offered. My mom doesn't do everything the way I would like, but he is very active and I know my son would be safe with her, so I don't really care if she lets him do things I wouldn't or eat junk food all day. My ILs ate more conscious of trying to do things the way I like, I think my MIL worries that if she pisses me off, I will withhold DS from her. But they are not quite as active or in tuned with the level of supervision a 3 year old requires. FIL is overweight and slow and always on his phone so he wouldn't notice if DS ran off, and MIL wears strappy sandals and tight jeans and then can't keep up with DS when they're out and about. But the two of them together are ok.

[Anonymous]

Yes, even though they don't do things exactly as we do. It's a good break for the kids and us to mix things up.

I am careful with my ILs, though, because they are having some health issues as they age. I don't worry about my kids with them, but my kids will wear them out. So I limit it, for their sake. Like I don't leave my kids alone with them overnight, for instance.