my colleague is a nut job but i feel threatened

[Anonymous]

OP here. i don't understand the confusion but let me clarify.

I started there in September. She was fine in September. In October I heard she was talking about me but no details. This went on for months but I didn't address it. In the last couple of months I have gone out of my way to speak to her and be polite and thought it was my imagination that she didn't speak back so I asked her what the problem was. She said she didn't like the way I walked around like I owned the place or some other nonsense.

We are both black. I weigh less, yes, and I am new.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:cause she's huge and i'm intimidated. she's 6'2 and 200+ pounds

Hmm, I'm starting to see why she may not like you. So because she's overweight you think she's violent? What's wrong with you?

OP has not talked to her beyond greetings. I take it she didn't say "hello fatso".
OP, are you slim and well-dressed? You may have been automatically targeted. Plus, if you're new and she's been in place for years, she might feel threatened.

OP never said that. I smell sock puppet.

"my colleague had been rude to me for months. this week i finally asked her what her problem with me was and she said, "i just don't like the way you walk around thinking you're all that. i think you are rude and disrespectful." i barely know this woman and have nothing to her except say good morning. wtf? "

PP, reading comprehension is our friend. And no, I'm not the OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:oh i'm black too.
simmer down

You know good and damn well she's not gonna just hit you unprovoked, or she wouldve done it by now. Just stay out of her way and congrats on not being 'ghetto'

LMAO!! (must be the wine) but I don't know that she's not going to hit me since she's clearly angry and unstable (and ghetto).

Thanks, for the compliment. I try to keep it classy

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:oh i'm black too.
simmer down

You know good and damn well she's not gonna just hit you unprovoked, or she wouldve done it by now. Just stay out of her way and congrats on not being 'ghetto'

LMAO!! (must be the wine) but I don't know that she's not going to hit me since she's clearly angry and unstable (and ghetto).

Thanks, for the compliment. I try to keep it classy :lol:

Try harder

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I get why that was unpleasant, but how does that translate to threatening?

+1 Yeah, that was inappropriate and unprofessional. But I don't read anything threatening in there. She basically said she doesn't like OP for the reasons stated. She didn't threaten OP. And OP asked her directly, so she answered. It isn't like OP's coworker out of the blue approached OP and told her she didn't like her. OP asked her. She answered. OP doesn't like the answer, so she feels threatened?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:^^ ok, i said that to rile you up (bored on a friday night)

she was fine with me til she got all in my face and showed her crazy, unpleasant side

It sounds like you got in her face.

[Anonymous]

^^^ i can't reach up that high.

[Anonymous]

Sounds like your coworker has some attitude or is indeed crazy. Ignore her. You are there to work, not to make friends. If she seeks you out or email you crazy shit, talk to HR.

[Anonymous]

Ps. Do not get out of your way to be nice to her. Do not give her the power over you. She is a nobody.

[Anonymous]

I wonder if we work at the same place, as there is a woman at my office who has said similar things to folks. She decides quickly whether she likes you or not -- if not, she is passive-aggressive, rude and hateful. I was on her good list for a while until I disagreed with her in a meeting. Since then she has called me names behind my back and even quit an internal planning committee we were both on.

Does she claim to be afraid of balloons?

[Anonymous]

i'm planning on killing her with kindness. that shit is unnerving. i don't want a toxic work environment and i am a kind, joy-filled person.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:i'm planning on killing her with kindness. that shit is unnerving. i don't want a toxic work environment and i am a kind, joy-filled person.

So you want to annoy her then. Just ignore her before she actually does something threatening.

[Anonymous]

OP, do not go up to people and ask them "what their problem is with you" if you are not prepared for an honest response. I think you brought this situation to a head when you knew that for whatever irrational reason, she did not like you. That may be terribly unfair and illogical considering that you are a nice person, but not everyone is going to like you. It would be better to have left her completely alone.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, do not go up to people and ask them "what their problem is with you" if you are not prepared for an honest response. I think you brought this situation to a head when you knew that for whatever irrational reason, she did not like you. That may be terribly unfair and illogical considering that you are a nice person, but not everyone is going to like you. It would be better to have left her completely alone.

This. It seems kinds of "high school" to have reacted to a perceived offense. In the workplace, it's best to smile and ignore.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. i don't understand the confusion but let me clarify.

I started there in September. She was fine in September. In October I heard she was talking about me but no details. This went on for months but I didn't address it. In the last couple of months I have gone out of my way to speak to her and be polite and thought it was my imagination that she didn't speak back so I asked her what the problem was. She said she didn't like the way I walked around like I owned the place or some other nonsense.

We are both black. I weigh less, yes, and I am new.

That might be the problem. So she doesn't like you and is rude. Okay you can deal with that. But the line is crossed if she's talking about you in a negative way to other coworkers. That is an attack to your reputation, which is particularly damaging if you're new. She is creating a hostile environment for you. You may want to talk to your supervisor and find out options you can take.