She took two months off from her life and her work to come stay with us and give our child more months at home with family when I transitioned back to work. It was a big sacrifice for her and such a wonderful gift for our family. |
My MIL generally drives me crazy (as she does my husband/her son) BUT she is wonderfully supportive of my parenting skill (even if she's just saying so) and she absolutely adores my kids.
And she retired to a state halfway across the country. ![]() |
She gave birth to my husband ![]() She also dropped what she was doing and came to help out when our kids were born. |
WOWZA! This is amazing. This is how I hope to be someday. My MIL is exactly the opposite. To say she is bitter is an understatement. I think she has maybe babysat once, and she lives nearby. |
SWEET! Love this one! I wish. ![]() |
I think I am incredibly lucky to have the MIL I have. I am from the west coast and new money and I married into an east coast old money family. She embraced me from the day her son introduced me to her. She helped me navigate all the social nuances and was kind when I was feeling a bit of culture shock. Ha. She even says sweet things like I brought some sunshine into their lives. I have friends who similarly married into this type of family and have never felt accepted by their MILs or have even felt outright hostility from them. |
My MIL raised my DH to be a wonderful man. He and I have been through a lot of difficult times together and I could not ask for a more devoted husband and father. He also inherited her intelligence and sensitivity. She has her own busy life but we are friends and that is perfect for me. |
So, basically, as long as they provide free childcare, clean and cook for you, tell you how wonderful you are, then you have a good MIL. |
Well YES. Duh. |
I have two sons and when they marry, I am moving as far away as possible. I will not meddle in their lives but I also will not babysit, clean their house, cook, do their laundry. If I am invited to visit, I will stay in a hotel and if they visit us, I will pay for them to stay in a hotel. We will eat all meals out so they can choose what they wish. DCUM has taught me that a MIL is either an ogre or a doormat. I would rather be an ogre than a dormat.
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Why do you assume you will need to do their childcare and housekeeping after they are married? Is it because you did everything for them growing up? |
I have two sons also. I hope to live close to them and I hope to spend time with any future grand kids - reading to them, taking them on little outings, baking cookies, etc (God willing). I'm not going to clean their house, do their laundry or cook their meals. I will not drop by their homes without asking in advance if it's a good time. I would love to be taken out to restaurants sometimes but I'll enjoy cooking for them on occasion and I hope that they'll do the same for me. I would love to have them stay over at my house on their vacations/holidays but I don't want them living with me (or vice versa) and I would imagine that they'll feel the same way. |
I had an injury where I was essentially on bed rest at home for a few days. MIL came the very next day after it happened, cleaned my house, did my laundry, and the rest of my chores that I save for the weekend, and went with me to the doctor to be my advocate (she is a nurse). On top of that, she does her best to not intrude or give unwanted advice, she's always supportive of my family, and loves DS very much. Man, I'm going to call her tomorrow! |
My MIL was crazy, to the point her kids cut off contact with her. DH did not invite her to the wedding. Even so, she still tried to raise problems. So the best thing she did was that she died. |