Thirteen year old spent all day yesterday and plans on spending all day today...

[Anonymous]

Let her do what she wants. She's 13, not 6.

[Anonymous]

I would be concerned if this were new behavior in response to high school or a new school, OP.

My DD, 16, and her boyfriend and close friends have always used free days to get a jump start on projects and term papers. I think it is an excellent use of time and, according to DD, is worth it to avoid the last minute stress and cramming.

DH was an okay student and I was a total slacker, so she did not get her academic ambition from us. DD is very proud of her grades and is simply a self-motivated student and always has been.

[Anonymous]

This is awesome OP. She would have been in school anyhow, if it hadn't snowed, right? As long as she takes breaks, and has some fun, I think it's a good thing--especially if it relieves stress down the road.

[Anonymous]

OP, ignore the negativity. My niece was incredibly self-motivated and excelled in academics and the multitude of activities that she herself insisted on doing. She set very high standards and her mother wondered whether she should actively insist she cut back (she didn't). At 16, it became evident she had bulimia and she generally unravelled in her last two years of high school. This was triggered when she moved to a top boarding school (she initiated that move) and she suddenly went from being the biggest fish in the small pond, etc. She had never encountered failure or not being the best. I don't know your daughter or have any answers but I understand why your concern is and should be real.

[Anonymous]

I don't know... I was a major gunner during high school, college, grad school, no burn out. But looking back, I appreciate my Mom in particular pushing me to put down the books. I think baking some cookies, taking a walk, picking a family movie would all be valuable breaks.

[Anonymous]

You just remind her that she needs to plan for breaks and also to take some time to do something more relaxing at some point over the weekend and let her manage her time. Teaching her to manage her time, make decisions and to plan for balance are all important life lessons that parents should teach their kids. So you give her your input and then let her make the choices. If she ends up exhausted from stressing out and pushing herself, then some other weekend, you can remind her again and maybe she'll make different choices. Hopefully by the time she goes to college, you'll have helped her figure out how to balance the various aspects of her life.

[Anonymous]

I was exactly like your daughter, OP. I knew what I wanted very young and was completely self-motivated to achieving my goals. Provided that she knows the best way to study (no more than 50 minute intervals without a 10 minute break preferably involving physical activity) and is doing this because she wants to - I would let her make her own decisions. By this evening, if she is going to be home, a good movie and whatever you bake today might be a very relaxing treat for her.

[Anonymous]

It sounds wonderful, OP, as long as she DOES have time for fun. I have ADD and it started to manifest itself in high school when all I had time for was homework, when my friends worked much quicker than me and went to movies, etc. I have always worked extremely slowly.

[Anonymous]

I was like your daughter in high school. I think I worked too hard so when I got to college I had no drive left. I still managed to finish in 4 years, but grades were pretty crappy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't know... I was a major gunner during high school, college, grad school, no burn out. But looking back, I appreciate my Mom in particular pushing me to put down the books. I think baking some cookies, taking a walk, picking a family movie would all be valuable breaks.

I agree w/PP.
As an 8th grader I overheard some conversations between my parents worrying about money and college tuition for me and my sister. I also remember my older sister and mom frequently arguing over grades and getting into college.

I decided that I would study super hard, get ahead, get great grades and earn an academic scholarship so there would be nothing for my parents to worry about or to cause arguments in our family. Mind you... no one ever did anything to give specifically give me the impression that this was a good idea or pressure me to get good grades. It was all pressure I put on myself.

One weekend, my dad realized what was going on, hid my books and sent me to visit an aunt who took me skiing for an afternoon... I really enjoyed myself!

[Anonymous]

A high schooler is still 13 in March? That's still really young even for a school system with a January cutoff.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:A high schooler is still 13 in March? That's still really young even for a school system with a January cutoff.

OP said she was in private school. Private schools have their own rules.

[Anonymous]

I think some little nature breaks are important. Get her outside. But if she's happy working most of the day, that's great. (But if she's stressed out, then look into it.)

[Anonymous]

Yes discourage her. You don't want a daughter that is bright or that cares about her studies! How will she ever get a man that way?

[Anonymous]

Don't discourage her. Honestly some of the happiest days of my life were when I was 13 and doing my homework every day.