When you've given your kid an ugly trait

[Anonymous]

port wine stain? A lot of things can be fixed now. Port wine stains can be removed if it happens before the baby is a year old.

[Anonymous]

OP, I get your stress but I think you need to let it go. I have a scar smack dab in the middle of my face. To me, it's super noticeable and terrible though others claim it's not bad (I got it as a child from a traumatic and gory accident and it has significantly faded but it's still there and I always wonder if others are lying about the scar's prominence to make me feel better). My point is that I totally sympathize with what you went through and appear to still be going through.

BUT, your son might not care at all about it, and that would be more likely if you don't obsess over it. I certainly wouldn't let it stop me from having another child. Please try to not make it a big thing with your son and try not to think of it as a problem that is your "fault." Perhaps you would benefit from some therapy to deal with your issues with your appearance. I really do know that facial marks can be very upsetting and it seems like you really have trouble dealing with yours, but there is no benefit to anyone feeling guilty about it or letting it rule your life.

[Anonymous]

OP - if it's a Port Wine stain (or even if it's not), definitely talk to your Ped about options. My daughter has one on her back (that's fading on it's own). When she was born I looked into what to do about it "just in case" (I have a birthmark on my face that I just live with, but I REALY wanted it gone when I was a teenager!)

Seems really straight forward (albeit potentially expensive). Things have come a LONG way for cosmetic surgery for birthmarks since we were kids. Calm down and review your options - you've got lots of them!

[Anonymous]

I know a beautiful "port wine stained" woman who is beautiful inside and out. I've noticed that depending on the event, she covers her stain more or less. After knowing her for awhile, i don't even see it anymore.

I passed on inverted nipples to my daughter. I frankly didn't take my top off for a partner until I was well over 18 b/c I was so embarrassed by them. So I do get your stress but you have to get over it for HER sake.

There's always an upside. I didn't have to wear a bra, ever, until I nursed.

[Anonymous]

My cousin had a large patch of purple-ish spider veins on the side of his face. He started laser treatment when he was a teenager. He would get a treatment every couple of months. It took over 2-3 years to get rid of it. During this period, I remember him wearing pigment (similar to foundation) to cover up. Yes, you can call it make up. But he survived it and he is happy and a great dad now.

[Anonymous]

My daughter has a large hemangioma on her face. I told her it was a special kiss from a fairy which made it pink or something along those lines. Today she absolutely loves her hemangioma. Sometimes when I pretend that I am taking it off her face and putting it on mine, she 'grabs' it back. It's something that makes her "her". Don't let your son think that it's something to be ashamed of because it's not. It's who he is.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My daughter has a large hemangioma on her face. I told her it was a special kiss from a fairy which made it pink or something along those lines. Today she absolutely loves her hemangioma. Sometimes when I pretend that I am taking it off her face and putting it on mine, she 'grabs' it back. It's something that makes her "her". Don't let your son think that it's something to be ashamed of because it's not. It's who he is.

I love that.

[Anonymous]

My son has a large furry mole the size of his nipple on his stomach. I just figure he can get it removed when he's older if he's self conscious. Your son can do the same, but at this stage, it seems like more your problem than his.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I know a beautiful "port wine stained" woman who is beautiful inside and out. I've noticed that depending on the event, she covers her stain more or less. After knowing her for awhile, i don't even see it anymore.

I passed on inverted nipples to my daughter. I frankly didn't take my top off for a partner until I was well over 18 b/c I was so embarrassed by them. So I do get your stress but you have to get over it for HER sake.

There's always an upside. I didn't have to wear a bra, ever, until I nursed.

I have a port wine on my face, large and dark, and can successfully kinda cover with makeup. I am going to tell myself you are talking about me, seriously that was so sweet to say, I want it to be about me!

[Anonymous]

I agree that it's most important to deal with your own feelings about this before and aside from anything else. Talk to a therapist about it!

[Anonymous]

I went to school with a guy who had a port wine stain. He was still very attractive, and had a great personality. Neither of his kids have the birthmark (at least not on their face). I wouldn't worry about your son or necessarily passing it to the next child.

Please learn to love yourself, you are worth it.

[Anonymous]

I'm worried my DD's will get my husbands big Jewish nose. He wears it well but it's different for girls. They are too young to tell. SIL's didn't pop out until much older.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Honestly OP, your insecurity and attitude regarding this so called flaw will be far more damaging to your son than any birthmark. You need to change how you approach this, quick.

I fully agree with this. Get help professionally for yourself now. I have a relative whose child has alopecia. The mom is very vain and concerned about hair - and this has given the child a huge amount of address stress and distress growing up. You don't want to do this.

Agreed. And I think you are projecting your own suffering onto your kid. I know a toddler with a massive birthmark that goes from her chest all the way down to her hand. Her mom thinks it is gorgeous and unique and gushes over it whenever anyone notices or comments on it. I think that is a great approach. Your son is himself and he is unique. Embrace that. There is nothing wrong with him, just like there was nothing wrong with you.